bellataggart

After All This Time... (17/17)

2009-12-06T22:25:05Z

Disclaimer: See first part.

A/N: This is it folks! It took me a while but I finally finished it. I thank all of you for sticking with me through this long journey. Your kind words along the way kept me writing even when I thought I couldn't any more. I truly appreciate all the motivation you have given me. I will miss you all.

A/N 2: In order to stick to the promised date I gave Nybullmastif I am posting this unbetad. I will replace it with the fixed version asap.

After All This Time
By Bella Taggart

Part 17/17

Callie woke to sunlight tickling her eyes. She buried her nose deeper into the neck of the warm body in her arms and inhaled. “Hmm,” Erica. There was no smell quite like her. She could easily get addicted to it. Hell, whom was she kidding? She was already addicted.

They had spent the whole night touching and tasting each other between bouts of involuntary sleep that claimed them every once in a while. After such a long time spent apart, their eagerness of being close again could not be held back by such an inconsequential thing as a need to rest and they often found themselves awake after only a few minutes of sleep with a renewed level of energy. All of which was spent trying to re-discover each and every part of the other’s body. They had finally fallen asleep, all tangled up in each other- sated for the time being- as the morning light had started making its way into the room.

A glance at the bedside clock revealed it to be 11.30. Callie snuggled closer, tightening her hold and sighed. The world could stop turning for all she cared. She was exactly where she wanted to be with the one person she wanted to be with. And though the sunlight threatened to lift the spell they had been under in the veil of the night, Callie decided she would not let anything ruin this. The morning after was not going to be awkward. Nothing was going to get between them. Not insecurities, nor baggage from a past life. Not even unspoken words were going to hold them back this time. This time she would hold onto the woman that made her heart beat and her soul rest. She was a late bloomer but she was no fool. “I wont let you go again,” she breathed into Erica’s hair.

“Keeping me hostage, are you?” A sleepy voice croaked.

“Hey,” Callie grinned, “you’re awake.”

Erica nodded, smiling lazily.

Callie lifted herself up onto an elbow and bent her head. Bringing her lips to Erica’s bare shoulder, she placed a kiss there, and then another on her neck and then another behind her ear. “Good morning.”

“Hmm.” Erica sighed happily, “What time is it?”

“11.30.”

“We should get up.” She said, though she made no move to get out of bed.

“Should we?”

“Shouldn’t we?”

“No.”

“No?”

“Na ah. We should just stay in bed, all day.”

Erica chuckled, rolling over to look at Callie. They lay there, side by side, facing each other without saying anything. Just looking at each other, savoring the moment.

“Why did you come back?” Callie asked after a long time, taking Erica’s hand in hers to play with her fingers. “To Seattle I mean.”

Erica didn’t say anything for a minute, obviously startled by the question. Callie was startled by it as well. She hadn’t meant to ask that. Or rather she hadn’t meant to ask it just then. But now that the words were out, she realized, she wanted to hear the answer.

Erica tilted her head to the side and looked teasingly into Callie’s eyes. “Why do you think?”

“Come on,” Callie smacked her arm, “I’m serious, tell me.”

“So am I,” Erica looked deeply into Callie’s eyes, her tone less teasing and more quiet. “Why do you think?”

“I don’t know. The job? The prestige?”

Eyebrows raised up, “Is that really what you think?”

“I don’t know. I hope that it isn’t. I hope that there was something or someone else in your mind when you decided to move back here, but I don’t want to presume anything.”

Inching closer to her on the pillow, Erica breathed, “You know why I came back.”

“I do?”

A nod.

“I do.” Callie smiled tentatively and whispered, “Me.”

“What else?”

“But I was horrible. I…I pushed you away, I was scared but that’s no excuse, I pushed and pushed and then you left and I let you go.” Callie closed her eyes, shaking her head, “I let you go…I did so many things wrong back then, dealt with things horribly I know, but that was my biggest mistake. I’ve never forgiven myself for that.”

“Don’t take all the blame. I was the one that left.” Erica said, brushing her thumb over Callie’s hand. “Walking away that night in the parking lot, that was my biggest mistake.”

“Yeah?”

Erica nodded. “That’s why I came back.”

“I’m so glad you did. To think we might have never seen each other again…”

“Hey, if we hadn’t gone through all of that, maybe we wouldn’t be together now.” She paused, “I mean, we are right? Together?”

“Yes.” Callie brought Erica’s fingers to her lips. “God yes.”

Erica smiled sadly, shrugging. “I guess it’s going to take a while for these old fears to go away. A part of me still finds it hard to believe that you really want me.”

Callie didn’t say anything for a minute. But then, she had an idea. One that might be just crazy enough to work. It must have shown on her face because in the next moment Erica was looking at her curiously and asking, “What?”

“Move in with me.”

“What?”

“Move in with me.”

“Callie!” Erica sat up, “Be serious.”

“I am serious.”

“You’re sweet but, you’re not serious.”

“Yes, I am.” Callie sat up as well, the sheet falling to her lap, leaving her nakedness open to view.

“I think it’s time for breakfast. Do you have eggs?” Erica stood up, pulling on her underwear and sweat pants in one move.

“Why not?”

“Where’s the t-shirt I was wearing?”

“Give me one reason.”

“It’s a bad idea.” Erica lifted the bedcover from the floor “It was right here.”

“One good reason.”

“I’ll give you ten.”

“What are you doing?” Callie asked, watching Erica pick up spattered pieces of clothing from the floor. “Where are you going?”

“I’m gonna make some coffee.”

“I’m trying to tell you something important.”

“I’m not moving in with you. We’re not gonna u-haul after the first date like, like some-”

“Lesbians?”

“Very funny.”

“I’m dead serious Erica.”

“We haven’t even had a first date. Last night doesn’t count.”

“I admit it wasn’t the date I had planned but I’d say it turned out okay.” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, looking down at her nakedness.

Erica tried to keep a straight face but Callie could see that she was smiling.

“We’re a little proud of ourselves, aren’t we?” She asked, putting a hand at her waist.

“Yes, we are.” Callie confirmed, grinning widely.

Erica chuckled, shaking her head in amusement. One knee on the bed had her closing the distance between them. Cupping Callie’s face, she leaned in and softly kissed her. “ As well you should be.” She breathed, bringing up the other hand to gently caress one breast. “Last night was wonderful.”

Callie shivered at the contact, “Only last night?”

“And this morning.” She said indulging her, and then in her most seductive voice she added, “But can we please stop talking?” She let her lips trail down to Callie’s neck, making her whimper. “Lets just drop this subject.”

That woke Callie up from the hynoptic state she was falling into.

“No!” She said firmly, pulling back. “And that wasn’t fair, trying to distract me like that.”

Erica blew out a breath and stood back up.

“I know this looks like a big step,”

“Looks like?” Erica continued her search for her shirt. Bending down on the floor, to look under the couch.

“Ok, it is. It is a big step, but there is no reason to wait, don’t you see?”

“No Cal, not really.”

“That’s fear talking.”

“Can’t we talk about this some other time?”

Callie frowned, not understanding why Erica would want to run away from this topic so fiercely.

Erica’s voice was soft when she said, “Hey, don’t be like that.”

“I,” Callie shook her head, “I just don’t understand why you’re so against it.”

“That’s not it.” Erica ran a hand through her hair, sighing. “I mean really, why do we have to rush? We are both adults, we both have our own places. We can sleep together whenever we want.” She looked around the room, “It’s too soon. We’re starting something new here, and what’s the point in rushing into something that that- well quite honestly something you might change your mind about tomorrow.”

“I, no-” Callie tried to interfere but Erica didn’t let her.

“You’re feeling high from last night still. So am I. It was great, better than great but you’re not thinking clearly right now.” Crossing her arms in front of her, she walked over to the window and looked outside.” And to put an offer like that on the table, which you might very well pull back once your head clears is kind of insensitive. I- I just think that we should wait and see how things go and be really sure of-”

“I love you!”

That made her stop. Her back to Callie, she stood there, not moving.

“Did you hear me?” Callie repeated, rising onto her knees. “I said, I love you.”

Erica slowly turned around, her eyes wide, her mouth half open.

“I do.” Callie said, “I was scared to say it before. I knew it back then, and I know it now. And I don’t want to waste another minute…You’re the one. I know that sounds corny but it’s true.” Callie swallowed, feeling her heart beat against her chest. “I feel it, and I want you to know it, and if you find that hard to believe, it doesn’t matter cause I’ll spend the rest of my life convincing you of it.”

Erica simply stood there, looking at Callie for what seemed like forever. Callie who was starting to feel weak as the silence stretched and stretched. So much for her newly found courage.

She swallowed once, wetting her dry lips.

At least it was the truth, Callie re-assured herself. Wasn’t the truth meant to set you free?
More like free falling, she thought, as she sat back down onto the bed.

“Say something.”

Erica, who at some point during the silence had shut her eyes, opened them to reveal tears filling them. She took two quick steps and climbed onto the bed. A lone tear trailed down her face and wet Callie’s cheek as she claimed her lips in a long, passionate kiss.

When they broke apart, only four words came out of her mouth.

“I love you too.”

It was the four that mattered.

And then they were making love again.

Afterwards, when they were both spent and lying in each others arms, both happy and peaceful and full of hope for the future they would be building together, Erica, in the edge of slumber, closed her eyes and sighed,

“I’m still not moving in with you after one date.”

Callie-feeling like she had finally come home- chuckled and kissed her brow, “We’ll see.”

The end.

* * * * *

Epilogue-

One year and seven months later.

Erica had the baby in her arms. The baby was supposed to fall asleep, the movement of Erica walking up and down the living room, rocking the infant from side to side was supposed to lull her into a dreamy state but the child simply cooed in play, refusing to even show signs of tiredness. Instead, she pulled on Erica’s hair, trying to bring it to her mouth, as she tried to bring anything she could get her hands on into her mouth.

Callie watched Erica as she tried to pull her head out of the child’s reach, and thought not for the first time that she looked beautiful.

“She’s so good with her.”

She glanced back at Lexie, and smiled, “She is.”

“Are you guys thinking of having one soon?”

Callie smiled again, as Erica made funny faces at the baby. Seemingly having given up on the notion of putting her to sleep, looking resigned to the fact that more play time was needed. She was such an easy pushover, when it came to babies. Callie sighed, melting all the more as both laughed.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Lexie grinned.

“I can’t believe that they are already one years old. Seems like yesterday that you were announcing you were pregnant at your party.”

“I know. Where did all the time go?”

“They are growing so fast too. I must have seen her what, a week ago and her whole face has changed.”

“She looks more like me now, don’t you think?” Lexie beamed proudly.

“The shape of the head, definitely. And the lips. Though Mark swears she is his photocopy.”

“She does have his eyes. They both do. It’s a good thing, he has gorgeous eyes.”

“He does.” Callie agreed, “She is beautiful Lex,” she turned back to look at the couch where Mark was changing the diapers of his baby boy and Christina was supervising from afar. “and so is he.”

Lexie nodded, knocking on wood.

“Who is it?” Sadie appeared next to them,

“Ha ha.” Callie answered dryly.

“Lexie, dear,” Sadie kissed both of Lexie’s cheeks, “I gotta get going. The little lady has an early morning and I want to see her before she falls asleep.”

“Nice.” Callie shook her head, amusedly.

“Thank you for inviting me.”

“Thank you for coming.” Lexie walked her to the door. “Say hi to Jane for me.”

“I will.”

Christina bumped her shoulder to Callie’s, tipped her head towards Erica, who had the baby up above her head, making her fly. “Wasn’t she supposed to put her to sleep?”

“Supposed to.” Callie mumbled, taking the final sip of her beer.

“We should get going too.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“We’ll drop you guys off.”

Callie nodded, moving in behind Erica. “Hey,” she kissed her neck, “Ready to go home?”

“Sure.” Erica nodded, “let me just…”

“Here, let me take her.” Lexie walked in.

“Here you go.” Erica handed her the baby, after kissing her brow one last time. “Sorry, I couldn’t get her to sleep.”

“You did great.” Lexie praised, taking the baby inside, “tired her out, she’ll fall asleep in no time now. Won’t you Ella bella? Won’t you?”

“I hope so.”

Callie gently tugged Erica to herself, bringing her arms to encircle her waist. Taking advantage of the empty room, she closed the distance between them so that she could feel the length of Erica’s body against hers. Erica returned the embrace, smiling. “Hello.” She breathed.

“I’m so lucky.” Callie sighed, looking into Erica’s eyes, slipping her hands into the back pockets of Erica’s jeans.

Erica’s breath hitched and she got the look in her eye, the one reserved for Callie, the one that promised of things to come. She leaned in and dropped a gentle kiss on Callie’s lips. “ Come on,” she said, “Let’s go home.”

Callie smiled, as she did so often now.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

After All This Time... (16/17)

2009-09-30T17:08:55Z

Disclaimer: See first part.
Note: In order to stick to the deadline I promised, I’m posting this chapter un-betad. Once my beta gets back to me I’ll fix it. Also, I gotta thank nybullmastiff, an anonymous commenter and berlygruvr for checking in and leaving me encouraging comments that basically got me back into the story after so long. I hope that you’ll feel this chapter was worth waiting for.

After All This Time
By Bella Taggart

Part 16/17

Callie arrived home around 10.00 o’clock. Despite knowing that Erica wouldn’t be coming after so long, she hadn’t been able to get herself to leave the restaurant earlier. As if to suit her mood, it had started raining. She took off her dress, turned on the shower and got in. She let the water wash away her tears and stood under the hot spray until her skin wrinkled.

She pulled on a pair of grey socks and a long t-shirt to sleep in. It had holes in it, it was so old and worn, but it was comfortable and Callie needed all the comfort she could get for the night.

For a while she contemplated calling some one. Getting together with a friend, having a few drinks and bitching about Erica was an idea, but one that was quickly put away. It was too soon. She wasn’t angry yet-though that would come later she knew- she was just sad. Tonight was the night for self-pity. She would let herself have this one night and tomorrow she would get angry. And then she would go out and screw her brains out.

She sighed, feeling tired and drained. So that notion didn’t hold her interest as much as it once did. Fine, she wouldn’t pick up a stranger then. There were lots of people interested in her, lots of people who would love to be in a relationship with her.

Jane was the first name that popped into her head. Even though she had practically closed that door, she was pretty sure that she could get it opened again. Jane was nice. Jane was good in bed. Jane showed up when she said she would.

So what if it was settling. Lots of people settled for less than their dreams. And they lived, if not happily, then contently ever after. Maybe content was enough. Maybe happily ever afters were only reserved for fairytales.

She upped the speed of the blow-dryer and threw her head down, letting the hot air reach the back of her neck. A shake of her head had her hair moving from side to side, the movement mirroring her thoughts. No, she couldn’t do that. It wouldn’t be fair to her. If she knew that Callie was just settling for her, she wouldn’t want her. Jane deserved better and somewhere in the back of her mind Callie knew that so did she.

She was pretty much screwed then. She squeezed her eyes, fighting the tears that were filling again. She couldn’t be with Erica but she couldn’t be with anyone other than Erica either.

Perfect.

Hair dry, drier put away, she sat on her bed and waited. Restless, she stayed there for a long time, just thinking. A look to her right revealed her phone staring back at her from her bedside table.

She felt her stomach tense, her breath catch. She couldn’t, no, she wouldn’t. She absolutely wouldn’t. But then again, what did she have to lose at this point?

She picked up the phone and dialed Erica’s cell phone.

Straight to voicemail.

“Argghh.” She growled into the phone and hung up. Now Erica would know that she had called her more than once. Could she be a bigger loser?

Frustrated, she switched her phone off and threw it across the room. It bounced on the couch, flipped once in the air and landed on the very edge of the leather cushion. She wouldn’t pick it up again. A hit to the switch by her side left the room dark. She slumped back on the bed, punched her pillow in an effort to get comfortable, and turned onto her side. “Stupid.” She mumbled and closed her eyes.

She couldn’t have been asleep for more than two minutes when she was pulled to the surface by the shrill ring of her doorbell. She jumped up in alarm, blinking a number of times, trying to get her bearings. She stood unmoving, shocked into stillness. The bell rang again. Her heart in her mouth she was startled into movement. She pulled on her bathrobe and reaching down, picked up her baseball bat from under the bed. Better safe than sorry, she thought, gripping the handle tightly as she rushed into the living room. A glance at the clock on the wall let her know that it was almost midnight. She cleared her throat, and trying her best to sound intimidating barked out, “Who is it?”

“It’s me,”

Unbelievable.

“It’s me…Erica.”

Callie lowered the bat, took in a long breath in an effort to calm herself.

“Callie?”

Running a hand through her hair Callie finally opened the door.

She didn’t know what to say, so she didn’t say anything. She couldn’t even meet Erica’s eyes, so she just stood there, looking at the floor, waiting to hear whatever it was Erica had come to say.

“I am so sorry.” Erica croaked, taking a step forward.

The shake of her voice more than the words, had Callie looking up. She gasped at what she saw.

Erica was standing in front of her, soaked from head to toe. Her hair-orange mad hair- was plastered all over her face, dripping rain water down her cheeks. Her makeup had run down her face, her mascara leaving dark tracks from her eyes to her chin. Her coat and the blue dress under it were completely sticking to her body, and one of her heels was twisted tightly within her white knuckled grip. She looked miserable and almost frozen.

“What happened to you?” Callie cried, her voice rising in concern.

“Can I…can I come in?” Erica shivered.

“Come in, come in.” Callie grabbed a hold of Erica’s arm and pulled her inside. “My God, you’re freezing.” She ran her hands up and down Erica’s arms trying to warm her up.

“I’m ok, I’m ok now.” Erica croaked, shaking.

“Take this off,” Callie ordered, taking hold of her coat. The coat was very heavy, weighed down by the water that clung to the fabric. “What happened to you?”

“I, uhm,” Erica looked up and noticing Callie’s puffy eyes, reached up to touch her cheek with a frozen finger “Have you… been crying?”

“I was sleeping.” Callie rubbed her eyebrow, hiding her eyes.

“I’m…” Erica sneezed, “Sorry.”

“You’re ice cold.”

“I…I walked, my car and the rain, and it broke down and I…”

“Sshh. You’ll tell me later. Come on, let’s get you into the shower.”

“I,” Erica trembled, trying to continue but then she looked down at herself and nodded, “yeah, okay.”

Callie led her into her bathroom and taking a new set of towels from the cupboard, gave them to Erica. “Here, there’s shampoo and conditioner and a few bottles of shower gels over here.” She motioned towards the metal shelves hanging on the wall of the shower, “everything’s pretty much where it used to be.”

“Thank you.” Erica wheezed, bending down to take off her single shoe.

“I’ll be right inside, if you need anything.” Callie offered, backing out of the bathroom.

“Callie,”

“Yeah?”

“Can you unzip my back?”

Callie blinked once, “Huh?”

Erica turned around.

“Oh, right, of course.”

She put one hand between Erica’s neck and shoulder-feeling the goose bumps under her fingers- and pulled down the zipper all the way down to the small of Erica’s back, with the other.

Erica caught the dress before it could completely fall off her. “Thank you.”

“Sure,” Callie croaked, slowly moving back. “I’ll put some clothes for you on the bed.”

Erica nodded gratefully. Callie smiled softly and closed the door.

She took a moment, shaking her head disbelievingly, resting her back against the door. And then, she went to work.

15 minutes later Erica walked, or rather (be it less than before) limped into the kitchen, wearing the sweatpants and the t-shirt Callie had left for her. She was even wearing the sweatshirt despite the warmth of the house. A head towel was securely wrapped around her hair, Callie- not for the first time- wondered about the orange locks that were peeking from it, though she opted to smile gently, instead of saying anything about it.

“Better?” She asked, holding out a mug.

Erica took it from her hand without questioning. “Much,” she nodded, “I feel human again, thank you.” She looked down at her cup and raised her eyebrows, “Soup?”

“I figured you hadn’t eaten dinner. I can make you something else if you want.”

“No, this is good, it’s great, thank you.”

Pouring herself a cup of coffee, she took Erica by the arm and helped her into the living room. “Come on, you’d better sit down.”

“Yeah,”

They sat down onto the three person couch, next to one another, both sipping their drinks in silence. Now that they were in each others presence Callie found that she didn’t know what to say. She had questions but she didn’t know where to start. By the looks of it Erica didn’t either, though after a while she was the first one to speak.

“Yang’s not home, I take it.”

“She moved out.”

“Oh?”

“Yep.” Callie nodded, “Living with Owen now.”

“Owen?”

“Dr.Hunt.”

“Oh, right.” Erica nodded back.

They kept nodding for a while, and giving each other toothless smiles when they made eye contact.

“When?”

“Huh?”

“When did she move out?”

“Well, about 2 years ago, I think.”

“A while then.”

“Yes.”

Callie took a sip of her coffee, feeling the liquid warm its way down her throat. She watched Erica as she looked across the room, taking in the pictures spattered along the bookshelves. There were a few of Callie in various acts of sportsmanship; Skiing down a black slope in Val d’Isere, scuba diving with Sadie in the San Juan Islands-both looking into the camera under water giving the classic thumbs up pose. There was one of her in her cap and gown with her father and Maria, and one of her mother kissing her forehead when she was just a little girl. And a few others too, of Christina and Mark. One especially nice group photo that was taken in Mark and Lexie’s wedding, all of them glowing in their tuxedos and dresses. Callie smiled, remembering that night. It had been one hell of a party.

“Do you like it?”

Callie looked back at Erica, “What?”

“Living alone.”

Amused by the line of conversation, Callie shrugged and tipped her head. “Sure, it’s okay.”

Erica smiled, as though realizing the absurdity of her question and distractedly bent down to rub her ankle.

“You want me to take a look at that?” Callie asked, noticing the grimace that passed over Erica’s face.

Erica looked up and hesitated for a moment.

“Let me see.” Callie ordered, patting her lap. “This is what I do you know,” Callie teased.

“Okay,” Erica smiled tentatively, lifting up her leg “Doctor.”

Callie gently inspected the foot on her lap, peeling off the sock and touching the slightly swollen ankle. When her fingers touched bare skin, Erica sucked in a breath in reflex. When Callie looked up, Erica simply muttered, “Cold.”

“Sorry,” Callie lowered her mouth to her hands and in turn to the foot within them and gently blew warm breath onto them. “Better?”

Erica opened her mouth to say something than closed it, swallowed and nodded silently.

“How did you manage this?” Callie asked, hiding her grin.

“I think I strained it, my car broke down and I was walking here and my stupid shoe broke a few miles back…”

“A few miles?” Callie asked incredulously.

“Yeah,” Erica shrugged, shaking her head in a ‘don’t even ask’ kind of way. Something about the way she pursed her lips made Callie think that the heel had been the least of her problems.

“I must have stepped on it wrong, I…” she trailed off wincing when Callie prodded a particularly sensitive part.

“Sorry,”

Erica shook her head dismissively. “You must be wondering what happened tonight.”

“Well, yeah.” Callie tried to keep her voice neutral, “I wouldn’t mind hearing about it.”

“Okay. Let's see...I left the hospital at 7 as planned, and then…this nurse had told me about this hairdresser that was supposed to be incredible and I had brought my clothes with me to work, I was already dressed, so I thought ‘I have a little time, why not?’ you know, I wanted to look nice for you.”

Callie smiled at that, Erica smiled shyly as well and continued, “Anyway, I got there and this idiot washed my hair and I should have known something was wrong right then cause it burned while he was washing it but hey, he said it was a special product and that my hair was going to glow and be softer than ever and whatever. Blah blah blah, my hair came out green Callie. Like, seaweed green.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, well that was just the beginning. And then he did this conditioner thing that was supposed to counter the effects of the first thing and it just… it didn’t work, it just came out worse, as you can see. And then there was this 70 year old man who was having his hair cut who basically collapsed and I had to do CPR.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, heart attack. Can you believe it? And then the ambulance didn’t get there for 45 minutes because of the rain. And when it did I had to send him to Mercy cause it was closer. By this time it was already 10 and I got into my car and started driving back, but of course this day being today, my car broke down half way through. So I basically left my car on the side of the road and walked here.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. Long story short, that’s what happened.”

“When it rains…”

“Literally.”

“Couldn’t you find a cab?”

“No cab, no bus. Nothing. And nobody stopped in the rain, it was just ridiculous.”

“Why didn’t you call a cab from your cell?”

“Didn’t I tell you? My battery was dead. That’s why I left you the message on your home line, for some reason it was the only number I could remember.”

“What message?”

Erica’s self berating smile dropped off her face. “You’re kidding, right?”

Callie slowly shook her head. “I didn’t get a message.”

“But I left one. Not even one, two.”

“ I can’t believe this.” Callie got up from her seat and walked across the living room, to the answering machine hiding under piles of magazine and papers on the counter. “I haven’t used this thing in ages, nobody calls me from my home. I didn’t even think to check it.” Moving aside the junk, revealed the blinking machine. Feeling like a total shmuck, she looked back at an expectantly watching Erica and nodded. “I’m such an idiot.”

She pressed a button and the electronic voice announced, “You have two new messages. Message 1. Friday 7.25 p.m” Then came Erica’s voice, “ Hi Callie, this is Erica. I’m just calling you to let you know that I’m gonna be running a little late, let’s say about a half an hour, just to be safe. Sorry about this and uhm, see you soon.”

“That one I left, when I thought I was still going to be able to make dinner.” Erica said, looking amusedly at Callie. As the machine announced the second message, she added “this one I left when I realized I couldn’t.”

“Hey Callie, its me again, I cant talk now but I cant make it tonight. I’ll tell you all about it when I see you. Don’t worry, everything is fine. I’ll call you as soon as I can, or I’ll come over. I don’t know, anyway don’t go to the restaurant. I’m really sorry about this, I’ll make it up to you.”

Callie sheepishly looked at Erica, “Oops.”

“You went to the restaurant.” It was more a statement than a question.

Callie nodded, “I did.”

“Oh, no.”

“It’s okay.”

“How long did you wait?”

“Not long…”

Erica looked skeptical, “How long is not long?”

“I don’t know, just an hour…or two.”

“Oh God.” Erica frowned.

“No, its okay.” Callie sat back down next to her, “I assumed that something had come up, I knew that you weren’t standing me up.”

“I wasn’t. I… I’m so sorry. I wanted to be there, I wanted this date to be perfect…”

“Hey, these things happen.”

“But they weren’t supposed to.” Erica shifted uncomfortably, shaking her head. “I mean, shouldn’t it be easier? Maybe the universe is trying to tell us something. Maybe it’s a sign that we’re not supposed to be together. I mean, I don’t know.”

Something about the way Erica spoke made Callie think that she wasn’t just speaking about tonight. Callie felt herself tense at the notion. Her stomach dropped and she swallowed before asking, “Do you really believe that?”

Erica looked at her for a long moment, her expression not giving anything away. After what seemed like forever, her eyes softened and she finally whispered, “No, I don’t.”

Callie blew out the breath she had been holding, “I don’t either.”

They shared a tentative smile as Callie reached over and gently took Erica’s hand in hers.

“Maybe it means that, we are willing to do anything. Despite the difficulties, despite missed dates and misunderstandings, that we still want to give us a chance after all this time means that we are meant to be together. Maybe that’s what it means.”

Erica’s eyes were filling with emotion. She squeezed Callie’s hand, “Maybe.”

Callie interlaced their fingers, “Come to bed with me Erica.”

Erica swallowed nervously, “You- uhm, you think that’s a good idea?”

“To sleep,” Callie jumped in, feeling her cheeks burn. “No funny business. I mean, not that I don’t want to, I want to, I really want to, but you’re exhausted and in all honesty, so am I and I’d just like to hold you and sleep.”

Erica looked at Callie for a long moment, her lips curled up, her eyes smiling.

“What?” Callie asked, after a moment.

“You’re cute.”

Callie chuckled, “Is that a yes?”

“That’s a yes.”

They walked into the bedroom hand in hand.

Callie pulled back the covers and taking off her sweatpants slipped into bed in her sleep shirt. Erica sat down next to her.

“Still cold?” Callie asked.

Erica nodded, “hmm, though the sweatshirt might be a bit much.”

“Here,” Callie sat up, taking hold of the bottom of the sweatshirt, “Arms up.”

Erica chuckled and let Callie help her remove the clothing. “Thanks.”

“I live to serve.”

When she lied back this time Erica lied back with her. Instinctively they both turned to their sides -Callie spooning Erica- and settled into each other as though they had been sleeping together for decades.

Callie’s arm wrapped securely around Erica’s waist and Erica’s hand came to rest on top of Callie’s.

After lying there in silence for a while Callie heard a sniffle come from Erica.

“You want some advil?” Callie asked, moving to rise but Erica held onto her and shook her head.

“You really should take something, if your nose is running already Erica,” Callie automatically went into doctor mode. There was no point in trying to look invincible. Erica had walked under the rain for close to two hours after all. If it had been Callie, she would have already taken two doses by now.

“I’m okay.”

“You’re not okay, you’re sniffling.” She brought her fingers to Erica’s face, “Do you have a fever?” Her fingers came away wet. She felt herself tense as she realized that her sniffling wasn’t of the flu. She lifted herself up onto her elbow,

“Hey, are you crying?”

“No.”

“You are. What? What is it?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Tell me,” Callie begged softly.

Erica shook her head in Callie’s embrace, trying to hide her tears.

Callie felt dread fill her heart, “Is it me? Is it this?”

“No!” Erica sharply turned back to look into Callie’s eyes. “No, you’re great. This is great.”

“What then?”

Erica shrugged, wiping her cheeks.

“Tell me,” Callie kissed Erica’s neck, “please.”

After a long moment of silence Erica finally gave in and muttered, “My hair.”

“Huh?”

“I know I should be above it and all but…” she sniffled, “I look like carrot top.”

Callie trying to hold back her laughter, pressed her lips to Erica’s shoulder. “No, no you don’t.” She said, reassuringly.

“I do. Look at this, it’s orange, and look at the roots, the roots are green.”

“You’re beautiful.”

“Ha.” Erica chuckled,, “Yes, gorgeous.”

“Look at me,” Callie touched her chin, making Erica raise her eyes to meet her own. She cupped Erica’s face and wiped away the last of her tears. And then she let her eyes travel from Erica’s big blue eyes -more defined now after shedding tears- to her strong-be it red- nose, to her rosy cheeks, to the dimples, to the full lips that were slightly open and felt herself melt by the truth of her words. She breathed, “You are beautiful.”

Looking up to meet dilated, wanting eyes were her undoing. No longer able to deny her need, she lowered her self to taste the lips she had been longing to claim.

The kiss was slow and tender, their lips rediscovering each other, re-connecting without the struggle of dominance or the rush of leading somewhere more urgent. Though Callie’s heart was pounding all the same.

It might have ended that way, all innocent and gentle, but then Erica’s hand reached up to run through Callie’s hair, and her fingers took a hold of Callie’s head pulling her closer and her lips opened to welcome Callie’s tongue into her mouth and suddenly they were very much so lost in a place where everything was urgent.

A moan escaped Callie as Erica rolled onto her back and their breasts rubbed against each other. Leaning over Erica, tasting her neck, licking and sucking, listening to the sounds Erica was making, the moans and groans as Callie ran her hands along her body, along her chest to finally cup her left breast, the feeling of touching and kneading and teasing the nipple that was straining against the cotton of Erica’s t-shirt was enough to have Callie throbbing.

Erica was clinging onto Callie with all her might, her hands running along her back, pulling Callie closer and closer. Her legs opened on their own and in her haste to get closer to her, Callie filled the gap with one of her thighs. She hissed as Erica’s thigh settled against her, and hers settled against Erica in return, putting her weight now almost completely on Erica. Feeling every curve and contour of her body rise beneath hers, was driving Callie so far to the edge that she didn’t think she could return from it without falling off.

And yet, she made herself stop for a moment, before completely losing control, stilling the gentle rocking that had just begun between them. Erica made a sound of protest, but Callie needed more confirmation than that. Trying to catch her breath, she looked up, “Are you tired?”

Erica looked at her uncomprehendingly for a moment. “What?”

“Cause I’m losing my mind here and if you’re tired we don’t have to do this, but you have to tell me now cause if we go any further I don’t think I can stop till I have you.”

“My God Callie,” Erica panted, “Come here.”

Rising up to re-claim Callie’s lips she took a hold of Callie’s nightshirt and in one swift motion pulled it off her. “I want you. I want you to have me.” She breathed against skin.

“Oh, thank God.”

Callie groaned as Erica’s teeth grazed along her neck. As Erica’s hands came up to cup her now naked breasts. As Erica bent down to take a nipple into her mouth, as she sucked and nipped. Her eyes rolling back in her head, Callie could feel herself getting wetter and wetter by the second. She wanted to reach down and touch Erica’s wetness, feel it on her fingers, taste it on her tongue.

But there were too many clothes still covering Erica.

She couldn’t strip her quickly enough. Even as she was pushing the t-shirt up with one hand, helping Erica get it over her head, she was slipping her other through the waist band of the sweatpants, into the pool of heat within Erica’s panties.

That first contact tore a moan from both of them. And many more afterwards when Erica fell back onto the bed in surrender, opening her now naked legs in invitation. As Callie settled herself firmly in between them, as she licked her way down Erica’s body all the way down to her center. As she took her in her mouth and as she licked and licked, making Erica squirm and thrust, all the while her fingers reaching deep within her, first one then two and finally stretching her wide with three. And later right before she went off, when Erica reached down and pulled Callie up to her, to fit their mounds together, as they rubbed and rubbed and pushed and pushed till there was no place left to go, until both were left gasping and grunting and screaming out obscenities like “Yesss” and “Fuck” and “God” into one another. Until they were both falling off the edge into oblivion together, safe in each other’s arms.

* * * * * * * *

Elektra's Treasure (2/?)

2009-07-21T08:13:59Z

Title: Elektra’s Treasure

Author: Bella Taggart

Fandom: Elektra (movie-verse)

Summary: 10 Years after she saved Abby’s life, Elektra shows up by Mark Miller’s graveside. Time has turned Abby into a hardened young woman and Elektra has grown tired of running. In order to find her treasure, Elektra will have to do the most difficult thing of all; put her heart on the line.

Pairing: Elektra/Abby eventually...

Rating: NC-17 eventually…

Archiving: Only with the permission of the author.

Note: Thank you so much to callicafan4eva for the great beta work.

Feedback: Please :) You can reach me at bellataggart@gmail.com

Elektra’s Treasure

By Bella Taggart

Part 2/?

Dinner had passed quickly. Even though Abby hadn’t been outright friendly she hadn’t been outright hostile either, which had made a nice change. Few words had been spoken between them but they had at least been polite. It was progress, Elektra figured, in comparison to before. Abby had excused herself just as soon as she had finished eating. Since it was she who had cooked the meal, Elektra had offered to be the one to clean up. After a moment of contemplation Abby had agreed and, bidding her good night, quickly retreated to her room.

It was ten o’clock now. Elektra was sitting on her bed, wearing a pair of burgundy shorts and a black tank top; trying to read the same page in her book for the fifth time. Focusing enough to move onto the next page was proving to be difficult.

She closed her book and sat up when she saw Abby appear in her doorway, looking small and somber.

“I tried, you know?” Abby whispered.

“Hmm?”

“I tried to bring him back. Like you brought me back, remember?”

She remembered it as though it had happened the day before. She remembered laying Abby’s lifeless body down on her mother’s bed. Remembered the shock, the sense of loss she had felt, her mind and soul finding it impossible to exist in a world without Abby in it. She remembered putting her hands on her and wishing, with whatever pureness there was in her heart, wishing like she hadn’t wished for anything in her life. Remembered, choking on her tears, energy pouring out of her body as she had literally called Abby back to life; “Come here little girl, come here, come here Abby. I just found you.” And then, most of all, she remembered, having Abby back in her arms in a single, magical, sharp breath; alive.

“Yes,” She said softy, nodding once. "I remember."

“For hours, actually. As his body lost its warmth and its color. As he started to rot right in front of me.”

“Oh Abby.”

“I can walk on water. Did you know that?”

Elektra looked up, startled at the sudden change of direction. She slowly shook her head. Abby nodded, “Fire too. But what good is all that, if I can’t bring back the one person who loved me more than life itself.”

“Come here,” Elektra beckoned her to sit next to her.

“What did I do wrong?” Abby asked, walking over, sounding haunted. “I keep going over and over it in my head." She sat down, having somehow dropped her front even more in the time between dinner and now. Maybe it was the three glasses of wine she had drunk. Who knew?

"You must tell me, what I did wrong.”

“Abby, it doesn’t work that way. There are rules to this magic. Kimaguri, depends on so many things.”

“Like what?”

“Like, like whether the soul wants to come back into its body. How it passed on, what caused it to pass on in the first place. How long it took. Some say, the quicker the better. And even then, there is no guarantee. There are just too many things that would have been out of your control… ”

“It took dad two years.”

She knew the answer before she asked the question, “What?”

“To die.” She said, her voice finally breaking, and tears rolling down her eyes.

“Oh Abby,” she pulled her into her arms and kissed the top of her head, “Sweetheart, Kimaguri doesn’t work in sickness. I wish it did, but it doesn’t.” She held her tighter to her chest. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Do you hear me? It wasn’t your fault.”

She started crying earnestly then. Clinging to Elektra, weeping as she poured out her grief, “I want him back. Elektra, I want him back!”

“Sshh, I know, I know.”

She rocked her back and forth long into the night. Until Abby’s weeping had quieted and the gush of tears had dissipated into one lonely tear that silently traveled down her cheek. She held her, whispering sweet nothings into her ear, trying to soothe and calm, until Abby had sunk low enough on the bed that her head was nestled in Elektra’s lap. With Elektra’s comforting touch in her hair, Abby finally fell asleep.

At some point during the night Elektra disentangled herself from Abby to let her sleep more comfortably, but Abby’s protesting whimper had her climbing back into the bed to lie next to her, had her throwing an arm protectively around Abby’s waist and whispering softly into her ear, “I’m here.”

When Elektra woke hours later, she found that in their sleep they had gravitated towards each other. Elektra had fallen onto her back and Abby was almost fully sprawled on top of her. Abby’s head was tucked under her chin, her cheek resting more on Elektra’s breast than her chest. Her hand had found its way under Elektra’s tank top and was warming up the skin just above her navel. Elektra’s own arms were wrapped possessively around the body on top of hers and a hand was resting a little too low on Abby’s back. She pulled it higher just as soon as she noticed it. There wasn’t a part of them that wasn’t touching really, and touching very intimately at that Elektra realized, taking in the thigh that was resting between her legs and where her thigh was resting in return.

She shifted, her body painfully aware of their proximity, trying to remember how exactly they had ended up in this position. And all too quickly it all came rushing back; tears and pain, Abby, breaking apart in her arms. In reflex, she tightened her hold on the girl. She had never seen Abby cry like that. Hell, the only other time she had seen Abby cry at all, had been right after Stick had saved them from certain doom, back when the Hand was after her.

She remembered the woods, the first time she had seen Abby in action; warrior beads coming alive in her hands, glowing in their golden shimmer before striking at her enemy. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she had asked in awe, but before anything else could be spoken, before she had the time to register what was happening, let alone react, Typhoid had claimed her lips in a kiss of death. And as she had fallen onto the ground as the black leaves had fallen all around her, her soul, her life being sucked out of her, she had heard Abby’s strangled cry. “Elektra!” And then she hadn’t heard anything at all, as the cold, all encompassing emptiness filled her limbs, slowly freezing her into darkness.

In the barracks of Stick’s camp, after she had come to, after she had learned the truth about Abby and about Stick’s live - and learn kind of lesson that had almost cost Elektra her sanity, she remembered seeing Abby cry. In a fit of adolescence Abby had tried to prove to Elektra that, at just thirteen, she was already better than her. She wasn’t. Elektra had easily blocked her attacks, and directed her as a master would his student. In the heat of the physical exertion, Abby’s false bravado had given way to tears.

“You’ll be better than I am very soon,” Elektra had promised, misunderstanding.

Abby had shaken her head, her voice breaking, “I’m just a kid. I don’t wanna stay here.”

All of that was a long time ago. She wasn’t a kid anymore. She was a fully grown woman. A fully grown woman, lying in her arms, by all standards, in a compromising state. Who at one point in her life had had a crush on Elektra.

She had been surprised when she had seen the truth of that in Abby's face, but she had seen it. Not when they had first met of course. No - she was just a kid then, barely a teenager. Elektra wouldn’t have seen it then, even if she had looked for it. And she hadn’t looked for it. All she had seen had been a sweet little girl she was trying to keep alive, a little girl who reminded Elektra an awful lot of herself when she had been young and innocent, before her life had gone to hell and she had lost all that she held dear. But later, when Abby was sixteen, when Elektra had unexpectedly shown up for her graduation, that’s when she had seen it...

Abby had lit up when she had noticed her, and rushed into her arms in her cap and gown. “You came! I can’t believe you came!”

“Of course I came.”

Abby who had grown up so much in the three years she had seen her since, Abby whom Elektra had barely recognized. Towering over Elektra by a few inches, long blond hair flowing down her back, waving the diploma in her hand; the enthusiasm of youth shining through the body of a young woman.

“I’m so proud of you,” Elektra had said, running her hand through Abby’s hair.

“Are you?”

“Very.”

“I’m glad.”

In their home afterwards Mark had kissed her on the cheek and introduced her to his new wife. The quiet sting she had thought she’d feel at that had been oddly absent. All she had felt was happiness for him and happiness for Abby.

“How has she been?” she had asked him, watching Abby play with her dog in the garden.

“Safe.” he had said, and they had shared a knowing smile.

“She misses you.”

The sadness in that sentence had her looking up.

“I think it’s difficult for her, not having any one she can share her true self with. Her talents… I think they are both a blessing and a curse.”

“Hmm.” She had agreed; that they were. “She looks happy enough.”

“That’s because you’re here.”

Later as she had lied awake, trying to sleep in the bed next to Abby’s, because they hadn’t let her stay in a hotel, she had felt Abby’s eyes on her.

“What?” She had asked.

And Abby had gasped and turned away, as though she had been caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to. “Nothing,” she had stammered.

Elektra would have bet then, that had the lights been on in the room, she would have seen a blush blossom across Abby’s cheeks.

“Might as well talk to me, if you aren’t sleeping…I can’t sleep either.” Elektra had mumbled.

“How long are you going to stay?”

“Till Monday.”

“Two days,” she had cried, “That’s it?”

“I wish I could stay more, but I’m needed in India.”

“India?”

“Hmm, Stick wants me to check something out.”

“Is it dangerous?”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. How about you, what’s next, now that you are a high school graduate?”

She had chuckled, “I don’t know, I think I’m going to take a year off. Travel maybe.”

“That sounds like a good idea. Do you know where you wanna go?”

“Anywhere…Europe probably, or South America.”

“Are you going with friends?”

“I don’t ha-” she had started saying and stopped herself. “No. I’m just gonna go alone, you know, I don’t want to be tied down to anyone.”

“Right.”

They had lied there in silence for a long moment after that, though even at the time Elektra had suspected that that wasn’t going to be the end of their conversation. After a while Elektra had heard Abby take a deep breath and watched her as she had lifted herself up onto her elbow and reached over to gently take Elektra’s hand in hers.

“Elektra?”

“Hmm?”

“You know, I’ve always wanted to see India.”

“Oh?” she had asked, feeling a sense of dread fill her.

“Yeah. Maybe…maybe I could tag along?”

Elektra had squeezed the fingers in her hand and pulled away. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea Abby.”

“Why not?” she had asked, sounding hurt.

“Where I’m going, it’s no place for a child.”

“I thought you said it wasn’t dangerous.”

“It isn’t. It’s…I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Abby had looked into her eyes then, long and hard. Longing, hurt, confusion written all over her face and Elektra had seen it. Openly and clearly; Abby wanted more of their friendship than Elektra could give her.

Perhaps Abby saw it too, because in the next second she was lying back down and turning away from Elektra to face the wall.

“Abby?” Elektra had asked softly, wanting to make it better, just not knowing how.

“Whatever.”

Then, Elektra hadn’t known what to say. She had lied there, praying for sleep to claim her. And just before it finally had, Elektra had heard Abby’s broken words.

“And I’m not a child.”

Yes, Abby had had a crush on her when she was sixteen but that was probably over now. Hell, if the way she had received her that day was any indication, Abby was long over her crush and on the verge of debating whether she even liked Elektra or not. Abby who was in pain, hurting. Who was in her arms. The proximity of whom was doing funny things to Elektra.

When had that happened? Was she so hungry for another human’s touch that anyone would do? Elektra narrowed her eyes in distaste and rolled Abby onto her side, removing herself from under her in the process and replacing her spot in the bed with a pillow.

The last thing she wanted to do was share her embarrassment with Abby, who would in all likelihood wake up at any moment.

“Elektra?” An all too sleepy voice called from the bed.

Elektra grinned in amusement.

“I’m here.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m just gonna go to the bathroom. You okay?”

“Hmm.” Abby nodded, sitting up. “What time is it?”

“8:30.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow.” Abby sighed disbelievingly.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, it’s just…I haven’t … I haven’t slept through the whole night, in a really long time.”

“How long?”

Abby shrugged, “Years.”

Elektra sighed heavily, shaking her head. “I wish we didn’t have so many things in common Abby.”

“What, you can’t sleep either?”

“Not usually.” But she had last night.

She thought she saw Abby smile at that, but it was gone too quickly to be sure.

“What do you do? Do you take pills for it?” she asked, watching Abby stand up.

“Sometimes, if it gets too bad. You?”

“Sometimes, if it gets too bad.”

Abby did smile at that, be it sadly.

Elektra walked towards the door, troubled by this new revelation. “You should see someone, get help for it?”

“I have, it doesn’t work.” Abby said quickly, “Let’s just forget it.”

She must have seen the doubtful expression Elektra was wearing because she put on too big a smile and tried to reassure her, “Obviously it can’t be such a big problem if I slept like a baby last night, can it?”

Elektra opened her mouth to say something but before she could Abby interrupted her.

“And anyway, two quick sessions of Kimaguri a day, and I’m good to go. Good as new, energized, rested. Ready to face all that life throws at ya.”

There was sarcasm on every part of that sentence, Elektra was sure of it. “But-”

“Elektra.” Abby interjected, sounding more serious now, “I’m gonna make a wild guess and say that, that’s probably how you get by as well. Am I wrong?”

She had a point there. Though just because Elektra got by like that didn’t mean that she was going to like someone else doing it. Especially someone she cared about as much as she cared about Abby. She didn’t want Abby to just get by, she wanted her to excel, to be happy.

“Am I?” Abby repeated.

Elektra reluctantly shook her head.

“Right,” Abby said, “So can we just drop it?”

She sounded tired. Her tone made Elektra think about Mark. Fine, she would drop it, for now. “Sure.”

“Thanks, and thanks for last night. I didn’t mean to spend the night in your bed but hey,” she smiled and winked, “I guess there are worse things.”

Elektra chuckled at that, surprised by her playfulness, after the distance of the day before. “Thaanks,” she said, rolling her eyes.

"I’d say, I hope I didn’t hog the covers too much, but I must have cause I was toasty warm all night."

Elektra smiled shyly, feeling her cheeks burn. If she only knew…

“If it wasn’t for your snoring, it would have been perfect.”

“Hey,” Elektra smacked her in the arm, “I don’t snore.”

“Ouch,” Abby chuckled, rubbing her arm. "How would you know?"

"I’ve never had any complaints." she shot back in reflex, smiling widely.

She guessed that spending a night crying in someone’s arms, made it easier to forgive them for whatever discrepancy in the morning. And if that was the case, despite having felt helpless all through the night, Elektra was thankful. Because so far, Abby was acting like nothing was wrong between them. Like talking was easy again and Elektra had missed that so very much.

"Ooh, and have you slept with a lot of people recently?"

She hadn’t. In fact she hadn’t slept - as in sleep in a bed - with anyone at all, not since her resurrection. That couldn’t be healthy; a part of her knew that. But she wasn’t a good person to get involved with either. A bigger part knew that.

“Hey, I’m kidding." Abby said softly, concern coloring her words, "You don't actually snore."

"Hah, I knew it." Elektra smiled reassuringly, walked over to the couch and picked up her towel, "I’m gonna shower."

"Okay,” Abby nodded, moving towards the door. “I’ll get started on breakfast. You eat eggs, right?"

"Sure."

Before she walked out, Abby paused by the door.

“Elektra?”

“Yes?”

In a small and soft voice she said, “Thank you for last night.”

With all the sincerity in the world Elektra replied, “Any time.”

* * * * * * * *

Elektra's Treasure (1/?)

2009-07-09T08:01:59Z

Title: Elektra’s Treasure

Author: Bella Taggart

Fandom: Elektra (movie-verse)

Pairing: Elektra/Abby eventually...

Rating: NC-17 eventually…

Archiving: Only with the permission of the author.

Note: Thank you so much to callicafan4eva for the great beta work.

Feedback: Please :) You can reach me at bellataggart@gmail.com

Disclaimer: All characters, events, settings and situations mentioned in this work are sole property of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, in constitutes fair use. References to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context and are not intended to be defamatory or factual in anyway.

A/N 1: I watched Elektra recently and thought that there was a real potential for an Elektra/Abby future fic. After a small search on the internet, after seeing the lack of stories for the said couple, I'm starting to think that I might be the only one who thinks so. I'm curious, am I really alone in this?

A/N 2: For the ones waiting for an update on AATT, this kind of got in the way of that but now that the first chap. of this one is posted I'm going right back to that one.

Elektra’s Treasure

By Bella Taggart

Part 1/?

It was a cold December morning. There was snow on the ground, and the sun above seemed to collect the flurries in the air, as ammunition to feed the clouds that would show up later.

Elektra walked up the hill in the graveyard, silently approaching the figure kneeling in front of a freshly covered grave.

When she came to a stop next to her, the figure looked up, with no surprise on her face, as though she had been expecting to see her there, despite having virtually no contact with her in many years.

“You’re late,” Abby said, sounding tired.

“I’m sorry,” Elektra apologized, “I came as soon as I could.”

“Hmm.”

Elektra took in the woman in front of her. Abby had grown a lot since she had last seen her. At twenty-three, she looked taller - though she couldn’t say by how much in her current position - and leaner, having lost her baby fat sometime along the way. Her hair was shorter, resting just below her ears, though still in keeping with the light blondeness of her youth. She was wearing a pair of dark jeans and a black turtleneck jumper. She seemed harder somehow, though that could have been the color of mourning on her.

“I’m very sorry about your father.”

“Thank you.”

“He was a…well, you know, a good man.” She tried, feeling at a loss for words. What could one really say at a moment like this?

“He was.” Abby nodded wordlessly, hanging her head.

“If there is anything you need, anything I can do -”

“There isn’t; thank you.”

She sounded distant, quiet and proper. Elektra didn’t like it. She took a step closer to Abby and really looked at her. Her cheeks had sunken in; the lines of her face were too defined. She had always been athletic, being the treasure guaranteed that, but now she looked like she was in urgent need of a good meal. Before she could think better of it, Elektra heard herself asking, “Have you been eating lately? You look like you’ve lost some weight.”

Abby looked up at her in surprise. That wasn’t a question she had been expecting,

“I’m fine.” She muttered, dismissively.

She didn’t look fine. She looked weak and fragile.

A distant voice in her head told Elektra that it wasn’t her place to question Abby. Abby was an adult now, fully capable of taking care of herself. She dismissed that idea as soon as she took in Abby’s red eyes and the dark circles under them. Before long, the bluish tint to her lips and the soaked knees of her pants had Elektra speaking again. Feeling her worry rise within her, she asked, “How long have you been here?”

“A while,” Abby answered silently, after a moment.

‘A long while,’ Elektra thought.

“Do you have a jacket? It’s really cold; you don’t want to get sick.”

“I’m fine.” She repeated, tightly.

“Here, take my jacket.” Elektra made a move to unbutton her coat.

“I’m not a kid, Elektra! Stop looking at me like I was your little sister, I’m not your sister!”

Elektra’s breath caught at the sudden outburst. There had been no warning of a building anger. Or maybe Elektra had read the signals wrong.

“I know that,” she said cautiously, putting her hands back down.

“Do you?”

Abby sounded desperate, her eyes suddenly raging. Elektra tipped her head, trying to understand the reason for the raw emotion written across her face.

“Why are you so angry?”

Abby gasped, and looked away, trying to hide the sudden tears that were filling her eyes. “I’m not,” she croaked after a moment, the break in her voice giving her away even if the sight of her hadn’t already.

“Hey,” Elektra reached out a hand to touch her shoulder. “What is it?”

For a minute it looked like she was going to respond to Elektra’s soft touch, let go of this mask she was wearing in defense of something, but then she pulled away instead. After taking a moment to collect herself, she stood up and turned sharply to face Elektra. Her eyes dry and cold once again, she spit out.

“Why are you back Elektra? Why now?”

Elektra felt herself falter at the look of pure fury directed at her. What had she done to deserve that?

“I wanted to be here, for you.”

Abby chuckled humorlessly at that, “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Now, after all this time, you want to be here for me.”

“Yes.”

“What has it been, six, seven years?”

“Six years, three months. Yes.”

“How did you even know about this?” she asked motioning towards the grave.

“Your father and I, we kept in touch. I called the house, Sandra…she told me.”

Sandra, his wife of seven years had been heart broken. She had started weeping over the phone. “Elektra, Mark is dead. He passed away three days ago.” It had taken Elektra two days to get her affairs in order and fly back to the States.

“That must have been nice, keeping in touch I mean.”

“Didn’t you get my cards?”

“One every birthday, yes, thank you. Very thoughtful of you.”

“Abby, I…”

“And now you’re here.”

“I’m here.”

“If I had known death was all it would take to bring you back, I would have killed someone sooner.”

Elektra felt the sting of her words just as sure as she would have felt it if she had slapped her.

“You didn’t kill your father Abby.”

“Didn’t I?”

“No. God, no.”

“Might as well have.”

“You can’t mean that. You can’t possibly think this was your fault.”

Abby looked up at her then, for a long moment, searchingly, without saying anything. And then she turned back to her father’s grave. She put her hand on the stone, brushing her fingers across the cool white surface as though she was caressing the skin of a loved one. She closed her eyes and stood there for a long silent moment, her lips twitching in silent prayer. When she was done, she took a step back and turned to face Elektra.

“Thanks for coming Elektra, but I’m fine on my own. Have been for years.”

“Abby,”

“Take care of yourself,” she said dismissively, and then, quite literally, in the blink of an eye, she was out of there. And Elektra was left standing over Mark Miller’s grave, on her own.

* * * * * * * * *

Six hours later, Abby walked into her dark apartment, dropped her bag onto the table in the foyer, picked up her mail and walked into the living room. She went through varying sizes of envelopes, picked one to open and threw the rest onto the coffee table. Ripping the side of the letter, she raised her head and quite casually looked to the darkest corner of the room.

“So, now you’re the one breaking and entering?”

Elektra grinned and switched on the light right next to the couch she was sitting on.

“I guess so.”

"What do you want Elektra?"

"Well, a place to stay would be nice."

"You want to stay here?" She asked, as though that was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard.

"If you wouldn’t mind."

"I don’t think-"

"I don’t know anyone else in town, and I guess I could go to a hotel but in all honesty I would rather stay here, with you."

"I don’t know. I’ve got..."

“I was in China before I came here.” Elektra cut her off, changing direction. “Was there for a few weeks actually, have you ever been there?”

Abby looked confused for a moment, looked like she wanted to say something but then shut her mouth, giving up. She shook her head as though saying ‘whatever you’re trying isn’t going to work.’ But answered her anyway, “No.”

“It’s really beautiful there, this little village north of Jiangze. Anyway, there was this little girl of six who was rumored to be the new treasure.”

From the way Abby’s eyes widened, Elektra knew that Abby hadn’t heard of the girl.

“She was a martial arts protégé, like you, and Stick wanted me to meet her. There were many interested parties there, as you can imagine, trying to see if she was the real deal.”

Elektra let that information hang for a little while, waiting for a reaction.

“And?” Abby questioned finally, her curiosity getting the better of her.

“And, she was sharp and fast and definitely talented.”

“Why are you telling me this, you want my card back?” Abby asked sarcastically.

Elektra smiled, “No, no that won’t be necessary. She has a lot of potential but she’s no treasure.”

“Too bad.”

“Is it?”

Abby shrugged, noncommittally.

“Did you know that, of all the treasures that have come before you, you’ve been the treasure the longest?”

Abby looked anything but happy when she said, “Yay.”

They kept silent for a while and then Abby, with a touch of spite in her voice, asked, “What exactly is it that determines you’re the treasure? I mean, how do people like you decide whether one is or isn’t?”

“People like me?”

Abby looked apologetic for a moment but didn’t say anything.

Elektra let it go, “It’s a combination of things really: speed, strength, reflexes, abilities, the potential of growth, character to say the minimum.”

“Typhoid used to be the treasure and she was a psycho.”

“Yes, well, a combination of things as I said.”

Abby looked thoughtful.

Elektra watched her a while and added, “Everyone has their own ideas about this I imagine, but for me it’s not an exact science. It’s more of a feeling. Like I don’t know what makes you the treasure,”

Abby raised an eyebrow at that.

Elektra tipped her head and clarified, “What I mean is, other than the obvious - your talents and all that - there is something more when it comes to you. I don’t know what it is exactly; I just know that you have it. The way I know that you are the treasure is the same way I know that the others aren’t. You’re just…special.”

Abby looked away with a blank expression on her face.

“And I don’t mean that just because you are the treasure.”

Nothing.

Elektra worried about Abby’s reluctance in keeping eye contact. It made it all the more difficult to read her and she talked so little now. It was frustrating really, where was the chatter bug of her past. She cursed herself silently; she had stayed away too long and now there was practically a stranger standing in front of her.

"I’ve missed you, Abby." Elektra said after a long moment.

She looked up at the sharp turn of Abby's head.

"Is that so hard to believe?"

Abby looked away instead of answering, gave her back to Elektra and walked into the open kitchen, “You want something to drink?”

Obviously, she had had enough of talking.

“Um, sure, whatever you’re having.”

“Scotch.”

“Sounds good.”

Abby pulled up a bottle of whiskey and two glasses, placed them on the counter, next to an answering machine that was blinking red.

“Ice?”

“Please.”

Picking up her glass, Elektra took a sip and motioned towards the answering machine. “You gonna get that?”

“Later.”

Drink in hand, Abby walked back into the living room and moved towards the stairs. At the last minute she turned back, "The guestroom is upstairs, second door on the left at the end of the hall.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m going to take a shower. If you want, afterwards we could have dinner.”

“I’d like that.”

* * * * * * * * *

After All This Time... (15/?)

2009-06-25T08:44:23Z

Note: Thank you so much to callicafan4eva for the great beta work.

After All This Time

By Bella Taggart

Part 15/?

"When was the last time you went on a date?" Christina asked, reclining on Callie's bed, watching her change into yet another outfit.

"An actual date?" Callie held up two shirts, one black and one navy, with a questioning look in her eyes.

Christina pointed to the black one, and popped a piece of popcorn into her mouth.

"A long time ago."

She buttoned up the black shirt, pulling her hair free, and looked at the mirror. She was wearing dark navy jeans and a satin black shirt that left a good amount of cleavage to the view. "What do you think?"

"It’s okay...let’s see the other one."

"The shirt or the jeans?"

"Shirt."

"I don’t even know where to take her," Callie complained, changing her shirt. "I guess we could go to Mario's."

"Italian is good. It’s a safe bet."

"Yeah, but, is it boring?"

"Not really, it's a nice place."

"It is right?"

"Yeah."

"How about this?" She asked, standing in front of Christina. The navy shirt fit well with her figure, but was relatively more conservative.

"It’s nice," Christina nodded, "colors look really good on you."

"You think?" she fidgeted in front of the mirror, "Maybe I should try the black pants with it again."

"Oy vey."

Callie walked into the closet and shouted back "What about Paper Moon?"

"Really trying to impress her aren’t you?"

Callie poked her head out, "Why? Is it too fancy?"

Christina just stared back at her. Callie rolled her eyes, "Fine, it's too fancy." she went back into the closet. "Then you come up with something."

This date was too important to screw up. She flipped through her hangers looking for the right fit. The right clothes, the right restaurant, every little detail counted. And for one time in her life Callie wanted everything to be perfect. Not just good, not just great, but perfect. How the date itself actually went would be up to Erica and her of course, this she knew. But still, she figured, preparing for it couldn’t hurt.

"Just take her someplace you like."

"Thaaanks"

"No seriously," Christina carried on, "What’s your favorite restaurant? If you take her somewhere you like, you'll be comfortable and so will she."

"You think?"

"Definitely."

That made sense. She poked her head out once again, "There actually is a little Thai place that I kinda love. Very small, like ten tables at the most, but very cute and cozy, and great food. They make this pad-Thai that just melts in your mouth,"

"Sounds great..." Christina salted her popcorn and started shaking the bucket, "I went to a place just like that the other week with Owen."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, right off of Main Street; you take a left from the gas station."

"Girl, that’s the place I’m talking about. With the thingy hanging from the ceiling."

"The butterfly."

"Yesss." Callie chuckled, “I can’t believe you know it. Nobody knows this place; it’s so hidden from the street. But once you go in..."

"I know,”

"It’s like a gem of a place."

“It is.”

“It so is,” Callie nodded with a smile, returning to her search inside the closet.

"And it's romantic, with the little lights on the walls. Not too fancy, not too casual. Just go there."

“You think?”

“Yeah, for sure.”

"Okay,” she said, feeling happy with that choice, “I think I will."

"Good."

"You know, you’re not bad at this," Callie said, poking her head out once again, while trying to get into a pair of pants.

Christina looked up at her suspiciously, “Oh?”

“Yeah, I think you have a future here. Giving dating advice to singles everywhere, what to wear - where to go,”

“Ha ha.” Christina said dryly.

“We can open up a place, Dr. Yang’s Love House, and you can make a lot of money.”

“Creative,” Christina mumbled, shaking her head.

“You don’t even have to quit your day job,” Callie continued, getting really into it now. “Dr. Christina Yang, fixing hearts during the day and broken hearts at night.”

"Aha,” Christina replied sarcastically, amused against her better judgment. “You’re wasting your talents Cal, I had no idea you had such an imagination.”

“Admit it, it sounds kinda catchy.”

“Are you about done in there?"

"Yes, yes I am,” Callie chuckled, “and I think I found what I’m wearing."

"Let's see it then."

"Ok, I’m coming out."

"She says from the closet," Christina mumbled.

"Funny." Callie walked back into the room. “Who’s the creative one now?”

She was wearing black pants, a burgundy satin shirt, and her signature leather jacket. Her high heeled boots added a few inches to her height and her hair was left hanging over her shoulders. She reached over to the table and picked up a pair of hoop earrings, put them on, and turned towards Christina, "So, what do you think?"

Christina smiled and nodding her head appreciatively, "You look nice."

Callie opened her eyes wide, "Just nice?"

"Great, spectacular, breath-taking."

Callie smirked, "Better."

* * * * * * * *

Callie walked into the Thai restaurant ten minutes early. She took off her knee length black jacket and quickly checked her reflection in the mirror at the entrance. Her green satin dress-a last minute impulse she had decided to heed- fit her body nicely. Her hair was tied up in an elegant ponytail and she had on a pair of dangling diamond earrings in her ears. She had spent an extra five minutes with her eyeliner and mascara and as a result her eyes looked bigger and darker than ever. The light brushes of color were evenly distributed between her cheeks accentuating her cheek bones and giving her a healthy glow. And her lips, wearing a layer of rich, light catching lip-gloss, shone proudly. After a quick glance at her cleavage she took a deep breath. Everything was where it should be, she looked ok, she looked good; she could do this.

She walked up to the maitre’de, an older Asian woman, who smiled at her welcomingly. “Good evening,” the woman said in an even and jovial tone.

“Hello,” Callie replied, smiling back. “I have a reservation for Torres, for two at eight o’clock.”

Meeting at the restaurant had been Erica’s idea. Callie had called her in the afternoon to finalize their plans. “Where can I pick you up?” she had said, and Erica had suggested that they meet at the restaurant instead of Callie coming to her home or even just meeting in the lobby of the hospital. Though Erica hadn’t said it, Callie guessed that Erica didn’t want to start the gossip mills in the work place when there was barely anything between them to gossip about.

Perhaps she had a point. Callie wanted to believe that Erica’s caution wasn’t a negative indication of anything. And so even though Callie didn’t give a damn about what people said; even though she would have liked to have seen where Erica lived, she hadn’t pushed. Because she sensed that she had to walk a very thin line between pushing and not pushing Erica, this time around; if she wanted to keep her in the game. Not that this thing between them was a game. Callie chuckled humorlessly; no, Callie knew that this couldn’t be further than a game if it tried.

The woman looked down at her list and checked off a name. “Yes, I have you right here, if you’ll follow me.”

“Sure,” Callie said, trailing the woman’s steps, “has my friend arrived yet, or?”

“No, you’re the first one dear.”

“Right,” Callie said, sitting down at the appointed table, “thank you.”

“Have a nice evening.”

“Thanks.”

It was good that she was early, she could settle, relax, and watch Erica as she walked towards their table instead of the other way around. She looked at her watch, 7:56 pm.

In a few minutes Erica would arrive and their second first date would officially begin. Callie hoped that the air between them wouldn’t be too awkward. In fact she’d make sure that it wasn’t. If all else failed she’d talk about the weather, no erase that, she would talk about work. Work was a comfortable enough topic to talk about, safe and relevant. Or she could talk about her life these past three years, though what was there to say, really.

At some point, she figured, she might have to talk about her feelings; that Erica would expect her to talk about her feelings, but that was better left for later. One had to warm up to conversation before baring one’s soul, didn’t she? Yes, as late as possible in fact. Perhaps she could even leave it for another day. That would be good, she thought, though highly unlikely to happen. Erica wouldn’t let her get away with that. Not that she was trying to get away with anything, but… it was scary, that was for sure. What if Erica didn’t like what she had to say, or what if she said something she didn’t mean by mistake and lost the one and only chance Erica had obviously given her? Because that much was obvious; Erica wouldn’t be giving her any more chances if she screwed this one up.

She shook her head from side to side in reflex. No she wouldn’t think about that, she couldn’t think about that. She would see how things went and she would take it easy and everything would be fine.

Perhaps she could talk about movies and books and such. Those were safe enough, though the last time she had read something un-related to work was…she couldn’t even remember when that was. In her free time she often went to bookstores and picked up a few novels that she thought she’d like but she never seemed to have the time to actually read them. A holiday would be the perfect time to read and she honestly believed that she would at least get to a few of those books on her to-read shelf at home, then. Whenever ‘then’ might be.

Maybe she could go away for Christmas after all. Though how good of an idea was it to leave town when things were just starting up between her and Erica, if that’s what was happening. Not very, her mind offered. Then again, if things did start up, and things went great then maybe they could go somewhere together. Like to Paris or Rome or something like that. Was that rushing things? Probably; she shouldn’t be doing that either, she knew. She had to sit back, relax, and not think about the future or the past, she had to concentrate on the now. Wasn’t that what her yoga teacher was always telling her? And going away to Europe together after just one date would definitely be considered rushing things. Maybe they could go to Martha’s Vineyard instead.

“Would you like to drink something while you wait?”

She let out a startled gasp as she looked up at the waiter that had suddenly appeared by her side.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s okay,” Callie cut him off, “my fault really, my mind was off somewhere”

He smiled at her understandingly. “No problem, so, can I get you anything?”

“Um,” she checked her watch, and her eyes widened in surprise, “just water, please.”

“Sure, I’ll be right back.”

“Thanks.”

It was almost ten past eight. That was unusual, especially for someone as punctual as Erica; although these things happened to everyone at some point or another. You intended to get somewhere right on time, and despite all your good intentions sometimes things came up that were simply unavoidable. Being a doctor, Callie knew that better than anyone. A last minute patient, traffic jam, hell, a bad hair day was enough to make Callie late to most things. So what if Erica was a little late.

“Here you go.” The waiter placed the glass of water next to her plate.

“Thank you.”

“Let me know if you need anything else.”

“Thanks.”

She took a sip of her cold water and then reached down into her bag to retrieve her cell phone. There were no text messages on the screen, but just to make sure she dialed her mailbox and listened for new messages. There weren’t any. Good, she told herself; that meant that Erica would be here at any minute. She was probably lost and trying to find the place. Callie cursed her own stupidity for not taking Erica to a place that she knew, or at the very least for not giving good enough directions. It was probably her fault that Erica was now going around in circles trying to find the hidden restaurant.

She took another sip, then another and finally finished the whole glass. She had said ‘the gas station off of Main Street,” hadn’t she. Cause there was another gas station down by Taylor Street, and Callie hadn’t specified that it was the ‘Shell’ gas station. Maybe she should call and clarify. On second thought, by the time she called her, Erica would probably walk through the door. And either way it was too late now, by this time Erica would have already gone to the other gas station, looked across, figured out that she was in the wrong place and would be on her way back here. All Callie had to do was wait, and when Erica arrived she’d apologize for giving crappy directions. The poor woman was obviously lost.

Ten minutes later, Callie wasn’t so sure of that anymore. This was beyond unusual now, and even if Erica was lost, by now, she would have called Callie to let her know. Callie tried not to think of possible disaster scenarios but as the minutes ticked on by; she found that harder and harder to do. What if Erica had fallen and broken something. What if she had gotten into a car accident? What if she was hurt or injured someplace, and here Callie was waiting for her to show up; only Erica wouldn’t be showing up, because she was in a hospital bed somewhere. Argghh, Callie had to stop watching crappy television.

She tried calling Erica’s cell phone and was forwarded to her voicemail. “Hey Erica, it's 8:20 at the moment, and I’m in the restaurant. Um, I’m worried about you, please call me when you get this. I’ll be waiting,” she said into the phone, and just before hanging up, added, “It's Callie by the way.”

By 8:27 pm Callie had already called the hospital and learned that Erica had left at seven as she had said she would, and hadn’t been heard from since. Callie held up an arm and called the waiter over.

“Excuse me, can you tell me, what time do you have? I think my watch might be going a little out of whack.”

“It’s exactly 8:30 pm ma’am.” The waiter provided.

“Right, right, thanks.” That wasn’t what she wanted to hear, “Um, may I have a glass of wine, please.”

“Of course; red or white?”

“White.”

“Would you like to see the list?”

“Just bring me whichever you think is best.”

“All right, I’ll be-”

“Right back, yes.”

By 8:45 pm, Callie had downed three glasses of wine and had resigned to the fact that Erica wasn’t coming. At least that fact was clear; although the reasons were not. Maybe Callie had pushed too far when she had said that she wanted everything from Erica. Maybe Callie had cornered Erica on the stairwell and Erica had had no choice but to say yes at that moment; then later had thought better of it and hadn’t known how to tell Callie. Maybe she had taken one more look at Callie’s date and tell list and decided that she didn’t want such a slut after all. Whatever the reason was, Erica was not coming and Callie felt the pain of that realization deep in her bones.

She had never known Erica to be cruel. But as she physically felt the sting in her heart, as she felt the dark, hollow, emptiness fill her deep down, she realized, that’s exactly what Erica had been tonight; cruel.

Callie had been stupid to think, to hope…but then again she had never claimed to be otherwise, in the matters of the heart.

* * * * * * * * *

After All This Time... (14/?)

2009-04-29T11:07:40Z

Title: After All This Time...

Author: Bella Taggart

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Summary: 3 Years have passed since the day Erica Hahn walked out of Callie Torres's life. When professional life brings them back together, they must figure out how and if they fit into each other’s lives, after all this time…

What to expect: Angst, passion and most of all, love.

Pairing: Callie/Erica eventually...

Rating: NC-17 just to be safe

Spoiler: Through s5e7 (Rise Up)

Archiving: Only with the permission of the author

Note: Thank you so much to callicafan4eva for the great beta work.

Feedback: Please :) You can reach me at bellataggart@gmail.com

After All This Time

By Bella Taggart

Part 14

You didn’t break me, you shattered me.

Long after Erica left, Callie-frozen into place in the suddenly gloomy on call room, staring at the bleak white door that had shut on her face with a force that had shaken her deep down- could still hear the words echo in her head.

And later when she was home and she got out of the shower and wiped the mist off the mirror to see her own miserable reflection, and she traced her lips with her fingers- her mind getting lost in where they had touched before- she could still hear her.

shattered me.

She fell asleep with it and woke up with it.

And when she walked through the corridors of the hospital and later, after much circling, when she found herself standing in front of Erica’s office she could still hear it.

Callie had to talk with Erica. Leaving things as they had…it was…painful. Literally, physically painful. She didn’t think that a single free breath had entered her body since the night before.

The only sliver of hope she had, the only thing that pushed her forward was that Erica had said, “you still can.” That had to mean that Erica still cared. Cared enough to hurt. And if Callie still had the power to hurt Erica then she had to believe that she might have the power to mend her as well. She could mend her, and herself. She could mend ‘them’ and maybe become an ‘us’ again. If Erica gave her half a chance, if only…

Callie took a deep breath and, saying a silent prayer, knocked on the door.

There was no answer.

She tried again, “Erica?” Cracking the door open, she poked her head into the room to see it empty.

Come on.

Her heart falling, she closed the door and leaned against it. Sighing, she checked her watch; it was 7.00 am. Perhaps coming to her door first thing in the morning hadn’t been the best idea. Who knew when Erica would be arriving.

Still, she couldn’t bring herself to walk away. Five minutes turned into ten and ten into twenty before she could convince herself to move. And when she did push off the wall and made her way to the bridge, she was distracted enough not to notice her surroundings for a few steps. But then she heard a startled intake of breath and looked up. Straight into Erica’s eyes.

By the looks of it, Erica had just arrived in the hospital. She was wearing her beige coat still, her leather bag was hanging over her shoulder. A briefcase in one hand and a coffee in the other, she looked down for a moment and started walking towards her.

Callie took a few steps forwards as well and they stopped in front of each other.

“Hi.” She croaked.

“Hi.” Erica said, sounding soft and sad at the same time, the tone piercing at Callie’s heart.

“I was…I was looking for you.” Callie said, motioning towards Erica’s office.

“You were?”

“Can we…” she checked her watch, she was already late for an appointment and at this rate she was going to be late for a surgery as well. She didn’t have enough time to say all the things she wanted to say. But still she had to say some of them. “Can we talk?”

Erica nodded. “Sure.” She bent down resting the briefcase on the floor. “Of course.”

So they were going to this here, in the middle of the bridge. Great. Callie gave her a strained smile. “Great”, she whispered. “Ahm.. I… About last night-”

Erica straightened and cut her off with a hand. “Callie. Before you say anything, I want you to know that I’m very sorry about last night.”

Callie looked up and blinked, “You are?”

“Yes, very much so. I don’t know what came over me, I just…I want you to know that whatever it was, it’s gone now.”

“It is?” Callie asked weakly.

“Yes, so you don’t have to worry.” Erica assured.

“Worry.” Callie repeated, feeling her stomach drop, taking her resolve down with it. This wasn’t the conversation she’d thought they were going to have.

“It won’t happen again,” Erica promised, unknowingly sucking the wind out of Callie’s sails even more.

“Oh,” Callie croaked, nodding. “Right.”

“So,” Erica smiled politely, nervously. “Are we okay?”

Callie knew it was her turn to say something, but she found that she couldn’t say a thing. Her mouth wasn’t cooperating with her mind, or rather her mind hadn’t caught up with Erica’s line of thought enough to give her mouth the necessary signal for speech. So she just stood there, her eyes wide, gently moving her head up and down-though not enough for it to be counted as nodding.

Erica continued speaking through her silence.

“I know that we were making progress, before this whole thing and…I really would like us to be friends again.”

“Friends…” Callie repeated, feeling the blood drain from her face.

“Let’s just forget about last night, okay? Can we do that?”

Callie looked up into Erica’s eyes, not knowing what to say. Trying to decipher the meaning of her words. Erica often put a front on, saying things she might not necessarily mean out of one reason or another. And for the life of her, Callie was praying that this was one of those times. She looked into her eyes long and hard, searching for something-anything- that would let her know that this was one of those times. Because surely she couldn’t mean what she was saying. She couldn’t really want to be just her friend. She couldn’t want to forget the night before; The touch of their lips, the scent of their skin, the fit of their bodies against each other. She couldn’t want to forget those things, could she?

Before she could find an answer to her own question or answer Erica’s, the vibration of her beeper pulled her out of the debts of Erica’s eyes. This was the second time it was beeping, there had to be some kind of an emergency. She pulled it out of her scrub pants and read the screen. It really was an emergency. Holding up the gadget, she shrugged and shaking her head-frustrated- met Erica’s eyes. “I’m sorry, I have to go.”

* * * * * * * * * *

“You did good work in there, Torres.” Derek Shephard praised, untying her back, helping her take off the yellow plastic overall.

“Thanks, you too.” She said, helping him in return.

Throwing the plastic gloves into the trash, she leaned forward and started the process of washing up. Her eyes kept on wandering back over to the patient lying on the operating table, on the other side of the window. Meredith was putting the final touches on him.

It was incredible really-Him being alive.

After five hours of standing over the man, her hands deep in his body, fearing that at any moment his heart was going to give up, she couldn’t help but feel awed by his resilience.

The chances of him making it through the surgery had been at the very most abysmal and yet here he was alive and closed up and looking like he was going to make a full recovery.

If that wasn’t proof that impossible cases could be made possible, she didn’t know what was.

Drying her hands, she sighed and with her new breath felt herself fill with a new sense of resolve. If a guy could drive his car under a truck, get dragged for hundreds of meters, crunched in a steel accordion- breaking most of his bones- and still survive then she could survive whatever Erica threw her way. Callie decided then and there, she wasn’t going to give up without a fight. No matter whom she had to fight, Erica or herself.

She pulled off her lucky cap, put it in her pocket and walked out of the O.R.

Taking her steps two at a time, she rushed through the corridors. Spotting Lexie by a nurse’s station, she quickly made her way towards her. “Hey Lex,"

“Hey, pretty lady.”

“Have you seen Hahn?”

“Nope, sorry.”

“Kay, thanks,” she said, turning to move away.

“Cal,”

“Hmm?”

“Mark was looking for you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“I think he wants to talk to you about my party.”

“Hah,” Callie chuckled, “isn’t that supposed to be a surprise?”

Lexie wiggled her eyebrows mischievously. Callie patted her shoulder, shaking her head. “I’ll see you later.” she said and walked on.

Her search of the cafeteria proved to be fruitless. Erica wasn’t in her office.

Neither was she in the lobby. And as far as Callie knew, she wasn’t scrubbing in on any surgeries either. Callie felt her frustration grow by the minute and then just as she was about to give up, she spotted her in the clinic talking to Christina.

She took a deep breath, reminded herself to be cool and started to move forward. She walked up to the pair and cleared her throat.

“Excuse me.” She said, “Hey,” she acknowledged Christina with a nod and turned towards Erica. “Dr. Hahn, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“What is it?” she asked, professionally.

“Privately.” Callie urged.

“I’m in the middle of something Dr. Torres.”

“I know, I’m sorry, but it’ll just be a minute…You don’t mind Christina, do you?”

“No, go ahead.” Christina said, taking a step back.

“Excuuuse me?” Erica exclaimed incredulously.

“Thank you.” Callie smiled at Christina, and taking a hold of Erica’s arm, moved her towards the stairs.

“What are you doing?” Erica asked, trying to keep up with Callie’s steps.

Callie pushed through the door that let them out to the stairs and let go of her arm. The door shut behind them, leaving them alone on the wide steps.

“Have you lost your mind?” Erica cried, trying to regain her composure.

“Possibly.” Callie said under her breath, and took a deep breath. “We need to talk.”

“What? What is so important?”

“You asked me a question, and I want to give you an answer. And I couldn’t wait any longer.”

“Huh?”

“No. My answer is no.”

“What are you talking about?” Erica asked, clearly not following.

Callie swallowed, and blew out a frustrated breath. “This morning,” she clarified.

Erica looked like she had just been slapped. “Oh,” she croaked.

“You asked me if we could forget about last night, if we could be friends and my answer is no.”

Erica looked at her for a long moment, and than her anger at being handled visibly drained out of her face to be replaced with an expression of hurt. And then, she looked down in defeat, her brows knitting together, her lips thinning into a white line.

“We can’t be friends.” Callie declared, firmly. “Not after last night.”

Erica, her eyes fixed on a spot on the floor, fidgeted, her voice taking a broken quality, “Callie…” she began, and then stopped, seemingly at a loss for words.

“Look at me,” Callie ordered softly. Erica didn’t comply, keeping her head hanging low, her eyes hidden from view.

Callie took a step forward and reached out to gently touch Erica’s chin, “Please..” she whispered. Erica looked surprised, more than anything, by her touch- by her tone. And finally raised her eyes to meet Callie’s, confusion clearly written all over her face.

“The way you taste, the way you feel in my hands when I touch you, the way I feel when you touch me…These aren’t things I can forget, Erica.” Callie breathed leaning close enough to breath her in. “I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to be your friend.”

“What do you want from me Callie?” Erica gasped, sounding desperate.

“Everything.” Callie breathed, closing the final distance between them and resting her forehead against Erica’s. Putting her hands on her arms. They both sighed at the contact. Standing still for a long silent moment. “But I’ll take a date…for starters.”

“Huh?”

Callie pulled back to look into her eyes, “Go out with me. Tonight. Food, drinks whatever you want. Just so long as we can be together and we can talk.”

Erica stared at her with wide eyes. Questioningly, confusedly. Looking like she was trying to figure out if Callie was serious or not.

Callie looked back, unblinking. Confidently, unwaveringly. She had never been so serious in her life.

After a long moment, Erica’s eyes softened a little bit and she lowered her face shyly, “I can’t tonight. There’s a conference…”

“Tomorrow then.” Callie jumped in quickly, feeling her heart start summersaults in her chest. Be cool, be cool.

Erica looked up again, and let her lips curl up into a tiny smile at Callie’s enthusiasm. And then, just like that, the most amazing thing happened; she nodded. “Okay.”

Callie felt herself smiling, “Okay?” she asked, making sure that she heard her right.

“Okay.” Erica repeated, blushing.

“Okay. Good.” Callie said, feeling light and charged with a sudden burst of energy. “Great. Excellent.”

Erica smiled back, full-fledgedly now.

Callie’s face mirrored hers all the way. “So we’ll talk. Make arrangements?” she asked shyly.

“Uhm hum.” Erica confirmed.

“Okay, good.” She took a step back. “Ah…I’ll see you later then?”

“Uhm hmm.”

Callie smiled again, feeling like a kid. She looked at the door and then, before she could stop herself, leaned forward and kissed Erica on the cheek. And, of all things she said, “Thank you.”

As the words left her mouth, she heard them and cringed inwardly. Thank you? So un-cool.

But Erica gasped in surprise and giggled. She actually giggled, which was worth all the embarrassment thank you caused.

She stood there for a while just watching Erica’s smile, taking it all in, this sense of cautious beginning. Awed by the incredibility of feeling shy again, after all that they had been through, after all they had put each other through.

Feeling great about having taken a chance and even better about Erica not leaving her hanging, Callie took a step back. “Okay, bye” she said after another stolen moment, moved towards the door and waved on her way out. Actually waved. She was turning into an adolescent. There was nothing she could do about it.

Oh hell, who cared…She had a date with Erica freaking Hahn.

* * * * * * * * *

After All This Time... (13/?)

2009-03-30T17:56:02Z

Title: After All This Time...
Author: Bella Taggart
Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy
Summary: 3 Years have passed since the day Erica Hahn walked out of Callie Torres's life. When professional life brings them back together, they must figure out how and if they fit into each other’s lives, after all this time…
What to expect: Angst, passion and most of all, love.
Pairing: Callie/Erica eventually...
Rating: NC-17 just to be safe
Spoiler: Through s5e7 (Rise Up)
Archiving: Only with the permission of the author
Note: Thank you so much to callicafan4eva for the great beta work.
Feedback: Please :) You can reach me at bellataggart@gmail.com
Disclaimer: All characters, events, settings and situations mentioned in this work are sole property of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, in constitutes fair use. References to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context and are not intended to be defamatory or factual in anyway.

After All This Time
By Bella Taggart

Part 13

Callie tried to see Erica that night, after her coffee with Jane, and when she couldn’t; she tried the next morning too. But, all her efforts of trying to locate her proved to be fruitless.

After spending the next two days trying to find a suddenly invisible Erica, Callie’s mood had plummeted, and whatever fleeting glee she had felt at the notion of reaching a non-hostile common ground with her had disappeared.

The few times she had caught glimpses of her had been of her quickly retreating back and in all honesty, as much as she appreciated the view, Callie was growing tired of the angle.

She had to be avoiding her; there could be no other explanation.

She walked up to the nurses’ station and slumped next to Christina, “Hey.”

Christina gave her a sideway glance, raised a single eyebrow, and went back to her scribbling. “You look happy.”

“Hmm,” She picked up her next case file, and started flipping through it. “Have you seen Hahn?”

“She was in my surgery this morning.” Christina replied absentmindedly.

“What?” Callie felt her blood rushing, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Huh?”

“You should have called and told me!”

“And once again with the ‘huh’?”

“I’ve been looking for her.” Callie grumbled.

“You wanted me to call you to say that she was scrubbing in on my bypass?”

“Yes. I mean no…”

“What’s going on Cal?” she said finally, closing her folder and turning fully to her.

“It’s nothing, I’m sorry. It’s just I’ve been looking for her for like two days and it’s driving me a little crazy.”

“I see that.” Christina said, nodding.

“She’s avoiding me on purpose.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Where is she then?” She asked, sure that she was right.

“Has something happened? Like between you guys?”

“No,” she said firmly, “That’s not it. We were just getting on speaking terms, you know…and well we were speaking and, let’s just say there was a misunderstanding.”

“What kind of misunderstanding?”

“It’s not important; I just have to see her.”

“See who?” Sloan interrupted, suddenly appearing beside them.

“Erica.” Callie clarified, “Have you seen her?”

“She was just here, like ten minutes ago.”

“Great.” Callie mumbled, “Everyone’s seen her except me…She is sooo avoiding me.”

“If she is, you’re lucky because she’s got something stuck up her ass today.” Sloan said, “I mean it, whatever it is that you need, wait till tomorrow.”

“That’s actually true.” Christina agreed, “She was pretty cold this morning, like she had one of the interns in tears kind of cold.”

“Really?” Callie asked tentatively, feeling oddly better at the idea that she might be feeling as crappy as herself.

Christina nodded, “Yep…Anyway, I gotta run but we’ll talk later?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“What’s up Ms. Torres?” Sloan asked, playfully after Christina left.

“Humph. What’s up with you?”

“I know something that’s gonna cheer you up.”

“Oh?” she asked, doubtingly.

“Yes ma’am.” Sloan nodded, looking like a kid with a gift hidden behind his back.

“What is it?”

“You remember my friend Thomas from M.D. News?”

“Yeah,”

“He wants to write an article on you for their next issue.”

“Me?” She asked in surprise.

“Well, on female orthopedic surgeons really. How rare you guys are, etc.”

“Niiiice.”

“He wants you to be the star baby.” He bumped her shoulder with his. “Gonna call you this week, I gave him your number.”

“Ooh. Me like, thanks Mark.”

“You’re welcome…Feeling better?”

She chuckled, “A little.”

“Good,” he smiled. “What’s wrong with you anyway? Other than your weekly ‘Erica drama’?”

She sighed, “Other than that, I’m good.”

“Figures.” He said, “I thought things were looking up.”

“They were-they are. I don’t know. I don’t know what to think.” She shrugged, leaning onto the station.

“Don’t think. You’re thinking too much, that’s your problem.”

“You think?”

“Yeah. Just get a room and do it already.”

“Who said anything about doing it?”

“Oh please, who are you kidding?”

Callie couldn’t reply to that. Instead she hushed him and tried to concentrate on her file. Before she could read more than two sentences however, Sloan nudged her with an elbow.

“There she goes now.”

“Who?”

“Lucy,” said Sloan, motioning behind her.

She quickly turned around to see Erica walking down the hall to the other side of the building. But no, she wouldn’t be getting away this time, not if Callie could help it.

“Don’t call her that.” She said and rushed after her.

“Erica! Erica, hey.”

Erica slowed to a stop after quite a few steps and half-committedly turned towards her.

“Yes?”

“I’ve been looking all over for you.” Callie said, sounding breathless.

“Why is that?”

She sounded cool and distant; her front fully in place. Callie felt herself tense at her tone.

“Um, I wanted to talk to you.”

“What about?”

Everything in her body language was telling Callie to back off, but ignoring the signals Callie pushed forward. They needed to talk.

“Do you have time for a cup of coffee or something?”

“I don’t; I’m sorry.” She said sounding anything but sorry.

“Oh.” Callie fidgeted, “How about later?”

“What is this concerning?”

“What do you mean?” she asked, feeling unsure and hesitant.

“Is it regarding a patient, or hospital business of any kind?”

“Um.” Callie felt herself begin to sweat, “Not exactly.”

“Then I’m afraid it’s gonna have to wait.”

“What if I make an appointment?” Callie joked, trying to lighten up the mood. Though, upon seeing Erica’s blank stare she quickly regretted it. It was safe to say that Erica’s sense of humor was far far away.

“Feel free to check in with my secretary for an opening.” Erica said after a moment, “though I doubt she’ll be able to tell you differently.”

“Your secretary?” Callie asked, disbelievingly.

“Yes.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes.” She said and as though that was the perfect end to their conversation, turned to walk away.

“Erica!” Callie cried, shocked by her ridiculously fake demeanor.

Erica stopped and very slowly turned her head, “Was there something else Dr. Torres?” she asked as though talking with her was leaving a bad taste in her mouth. She sounded so condescending and above it all that Callie felt a burst of anger ignite in the pit of her stomach. Who was she to dismiss her? Who did she think she was?

Her shock promptly replaced with fury, she took a step back and, looking her up and down, slowly shook her head.

“No.” she spit out, “Apparently not.”

* * * * * * *

It was one in the morning and Callie’s shift had just ended.

She walked into the on-call room and closed the door behind her. Later she would look back on this moment and realize that had she locked the door or even simply turned on the light in the room, she might have avoided what came next. But then she didn’t know this and she did not do those things.

Instead, she walked into the far end of the room and took out her clothes from her bag. Then, she pushed off her sneakers with her toes, pulled off the navy scrubs she was wearing and threw them over the bars by the foot of the bed. As she did this, her wrist hit the corner of the bar and her bracelet came free, falling onto the floor.

She had just knelt down to pick it up when the door suddenly opened to let someone in. Though she wasn’t one to mind being almost naked in front of others, she still didn’t wish to be so in front of just anyone, so she did the first thing that came to mind. She held still, her crouched body already hidden to view behind the bunk bed, and waited.

Footsteps came closer and then the bed made a creaking noise, letting her know that the new occupant of the room had just sat down on it. Callie slowly stole a glance and felt her breath catch in her throat.

Erica, of all people, was sitting on the bottom half of the bunk bed right in front of her. She leaned forward, resting her head in her hands and sighed. She looked exhausted, drained.

Callie knew that she was prying on a private moment but she couldn’t pull her eyes away. Seeing Erica unguarded and vulnerable had always been addictive to Callie and this time was no different.

Almost a minute passed in silence. This was going to be more awkward than flashing a stranger Callie realized with each passing second but unfortunately it could not be avoided. Sooner or later she was going to have to get up and the longer she waited, the more awkward it was going to be when Erica noticed her. With that in mind, she tried to reach for her jeans, hoping to at least get them on before making her presence known to Erica, a task she failed miserably when her belt buckle rattled loudly in the move.

Erica jumped off the bed in alarm and turned on the lights.

“Is someone there?”

“Erica.” Callie croaked, poking her head out, looking as apologetic as she could manage.

“Jesus Callie! You scared me half to death.”

“Sorry.”

“What are you doing there?”

“I was-“

“Oh god, I didn’t realize,” she gasped, catching glimpses of naked flesh, when Callie finally inched forward and came out of her hiding.

“I’m sorry, I’ll go…” Erica said, looking around the room in reflex and then shaking her head self-beratingly and closing her eyes. She scrunched up her face trying not to see anything and hurried towards the door.

“No, wait!” Callie cried, halting Erica’s steps. “I’m alone!”

Erica paused by the door, head hanging low. The way she blew out her breath confirmed that Callie had been right in her suspicion. Erica had thought that there was someone else in there with her.

“Please stay,”

After a long moment of silence, Erica lifted her head up and turned back to face her.

“I was just changing, I-I thought you’d left,” Callie mumbled, picking up her jeans, feeling extremely self-conscious under Erica’s un-breaking gaze.

“No, I was…” Erica cleared her throat, looking straight at her, “no.”

“I’ll be out of here in two minutes and you can have the room,”

Erica nodded, “Hot date?” she asked, through tight lips, anger flashing momentarily across her face.

Callie halted her fingers on the buttons of her jeans. “It’s one in the morning,”

“Right.” Erica looked away, her brows knitted, her face flushed.

She looked like she was fighting an internal battle, like she couldn’t decide if she wanted to be nice or mean to Callie; like she couldn’t decide if she wanted to look at or away from Callie.

They had to talk about the other day, about Jane. They had to talk about a lot of things, Callie remembered. She pulled on her shirt and, before buttoning it, took a step forward. “Erica?”

Erica looked up, hearing her name and then down again, her eyes slowly roaming all over Callie’s form, from her bare feet to her legs, from her hands hanging freely on her sides to her barely concealed belly. And finally from her black bra that left absolutely nothing to the imagination to her eyes, her eyes traveled. She swallowed once and squeaked, “Yes?” and took a step back in reflex. Her back hit the door and she looked trapped for a moment, and then looking like she wasn’t sure if she had spoken out loud before, repeated, sounding hoarse, “Yes?”

Callie didn’t know what made her do it, when there was already so much tension in the room, when she was already feeling hot and bothered just by having Erica look at her, but she took another step forward to stand right in front of her. Feeling her pulse ring in her ears and breathing heavily, she gasped, “You okay?”

Erica nodded slowly, her mouth falling open. Her eyes falling on Callie’s lips, as Callie’s fell on hers. They were standing very close, too close; Callie realized when she felt Erica’s warm breath on her face.

“Long…long day…I…” Erica trailed off, licking her lips. Her face looking as helpless as it had looked when she had touched her shoulder. More.

Then out of nowhere Callie had a name for what she was seeing on Erica’s face. She had seen it there before, be it a long time ago, and recognized it for what it was; desire. She licked her own dry lips at the realization, looking deeply into half dilated-blue eyes and drowning in them.

She tried to hold still but felt herself come closer inch by inch, like she was being pulled in by invisible strings.

“Don’t,” Erica gasped, looking more powerless by the second.

“What?” Callie breathed, feeling drunk with her smell-peaches- her eyes narrowing on their own, getting lost in Erica and trying for words, “What shouldn’t I…” she trailed off, resting her forehead against Erica’s, her lips a breath away from hers, breathing her in.

“I can’t…”Erica whimpered, closing her eyes, shaking her head, looking like she was in pain, “stop.” And then suddenly, she was kissing Callie. Callie’s shirt balled up in her fists, Erica was pulling her in and kissing her, in hunger, in starvation; licking, sucking, biting. A strangled noise broke free in the back of someone’s throat. Both were too far gone to care who.

Then, as though the battle inside Erica had suddenly come to an end, she was grasping Callie’s arms to reverse their positions so that now Callie was trapped against the door.
The kisses were wet, sloppy, and dominating and they were getting more and more heated as other body parts started getting involved.

Callie went with it at first, clinging to the feeling of ecstasy, of being able to touch Erica again, to taste her but then somewhere in the back of her head she heard the tiny voice that said this was wrong and tried to calm down. A notion that was becoming impossible with each passing second. “Erica,” she whispered, pulling back. Erica leaned forward and recaptured her lips, resting her weight on Callie as Callie’s back settled firmly on the door. Swallowing her words, she lodged her knee between Callie’s thighs. Callie couldn’t help the moan that escaped her throat, as their thighs intertwined.

“Yess,” Erica hissed, sucking and licking her throat, one of her hands on Callie’s ass, the other on her breast, kneading urgently.

It was too quick, too rough, too much.

“Wait,” She gasped trying to get her attention, pulling back, trying to look into her eyes. But the more Callie pulled back, the more Erica came forward and their eyes did not meet.

Callie could feel her body becoming boneless under Erica’s attentions, but her mind wasn’t playing along.

“Err...we have to stop” Callie groaned as Erica, looking famished and predatory, started a decent down her body with her lips.

“Erica,” she breathed.

When Erica, mindless, fell onto her knees and cupped Callie’s breasts with both of her hands, Callie threw her head back in reflex and gasped, “Oh God.”

She couldn’t think, she could hardly breathe. She was two seconds away from losing control, but then Erica kissed her belly and unbuckled her belt and freed the buttons of her pants and pulled on her panties with her teeth and Callie remembered.

This was Erica about to go down on her. They had barely done that when they were together. This wasn’t some one night stand, some quickie in the on-call room. This was Erica for Christ’s sake.

Before she could get any further, Callie forcefully pushed on Erica’s shoulders and moved out of her reach.

“WHAT?” Erica cried, falling back on her ass, looking up with wide, dilated eyes. She was rubbing her bottom, where it had made rough contact with the floor.

“No. Not like this, not with you.” Callie gasped, trembling, covering her eyes with her palm, trying to get her breathing under control.

“Why not me? The way I heard it, you fuck every woman that crosses your path.” Erica snapped, standing up, breathing heavily, her face flushed with unstated arousal and annoyance.

Callie felt her stomach drop. She took a deep breath, trying to steady her pulse.

“Don’t be mean Erica.”

“I’m not being mean. Seriously, I’m curious; I want to know why you can screw all of them but not me.”

Callie turned away from her, walking into the room, trying to put some distance between them.

“I mean, you’re the talk of the corridors. Your date and tell list reads like a book. Is there actually anyone left in the hospital you haven’t slept with?”

“Stop it,” Callie begged. She couldn’t believe what was happening; she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. And the worse part was that Erica looked like her words were hurting her more than they were hurting Callie, and yet she wouldn’t stop speaking.
“Tell me,” Erica insisted, following her, her voice rising with each word.

Callie shook her head, feeling trapped, not wanting to speak when she couldn’t control herself. Erica grabbed hold of her arm and shouted, “Tell me damn it, why them and not me?”

“Because you could break me!” Callie cried finally, her eyes wild, throwing daggers. “You’ve done it before.”

Erica let go of her arm, taking a step back involuntarily. Breathing heavily, watching her through wide eyes.

After a moment of studying her, her face went sour and she barked out, “Hah!” A single, harsh syllable of laughter.

“You think that’s funny?”

“What did I ever do to you?

“You left!” Callie shot out. Erica bowed her head.

“One disagreement, one issue at work and you were gone. Just like that.”

Erica looked up sharply, her eyes darkening in an instant.

“One argument with the chief, over Stevens of all people, and you left.”

“Don’t be stupid Callie; I didn’t leave because of Stevens. I left the hospital because of that. Not you.”

“What are you saying Erica, that you didn’t want me?”

Erica laughed out loud then. Shaking her head, looking like this was the funniest thing in the world, her laughter sounding loud and maniacal as it echoed through the walls of the on-call room.

“That’s just it,” She said still chuckling. “It’s the opposite.” She took a deep breath and suddenly her whole demeanor changed; sobered, looking small and fragile, she breathed, “You didn’t want me.”

She turned her back to Callie, took a few steps towards the door and stopped, looking down at the floor.

“You slept with Sloan. After we made love, and I told you that you changed my life, you went and slept with Sloan.” She looked over her shoulder to meet Callie’s eyes- her own eyes filling with unshed tears- and smiled sadly, “Twice...I know you may not have been ready, or you were scared or whatever… But I was there; I was all the way there for you. And you Callie, you didn’t break me, you shattered me.”

She took the final step and reached the door. Right before she opened it and walked out, she whispered, without looking back;

“And the sad joke is, after all this time, you still can.”

* * * * * * * *

After All This Time... (12/?)

2009-03-24T10:26:34Z

Title: After All This Time...
Author: Bella Taggart
Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy
Summary: 3 Years have passed since the day Erica Hahn walked out of Callie Torres's life. When professional life brings them back together, they must figure out how and if they fit into each other’s lives, after all this time…
What to expect: Angst, passion and most of all, love.
Pairing: Callie/Erica eventually...
Rating: NC-17 just to be safe
Spoiler: Through s5e7 (Rise Up)
Archiving: Only with the permission of the author
Note: Thank you so much to callicafan4eva for the great beta work.
Feedback: Please :) You can reach me at bellataggart@gmail.com
Disclaimer: All characters, events, settings and situations mentioned in this work are sole property of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, in constitutes fair use. References to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context and are not intended to be defamatory or factual in anyway.

After All This Time
By Bella Taggart

Part 12/?

The next two weeks passed very quickly for Callie. Work had built up during her absence and it seemed, since her return to full time, all she did was either operate, or fill out paperwork.

She didn’t really have the time to think about Erica; if not thinking about her actually meant thinking about her all the time. She was still conflicted about her but at least somewhere along the way seeing Erica had stopped being painful. Gone were the uncomfortable, awkward encounters. Now each time they met, always for official business of course, they were actually friendly. Not overtly but friendly all the same. And sometimes they even spoke about things other than work. One time they had spoken about the weather and once about sunrise yoga, which was significant in itself, because Erica had said, “You still do that?” and that was the first time she had made a reference to their past.

If she was being honest with herself, Callie looked forward to those rare moments they spent together. In fact she often found herself walking up and down the hallways- inconspicuously, always maintaining a sense of purpose in her strait- subtly looking around for a familiar face. Her one consolation was that the walks had become a sort of a daily workout for her, and since she had no time to actually go to a gym, it all actually worked out quite well.

She felt like a student with a crush on the principal most of the time. It was forbidden, but it sure motivated her to work harder, faster and longer. She had always liked coming to work but now it was as though she couldn’t wait to get there. Couldn’t wait to find more challenging cases and get to work. Erica’s presence was almost fueling her to be the best surgeon she could be.

Was it all a subconscious effort to impress her? Maybe or maybe just being around Erica was making everything in her life come to life. Like everything she wanted to achieve and be were coming into focus in big bright colors.

It was new and exciting that was for sure. And it had been a long time since she had felt genuine excitement about anything, or since she had met someone that could trigger a heartbeat with the mere thought or sight of them. Callie had grown accustomed to thinking of herself incapable of such feeling and just being able to experience that had Callie simply feeling good about herself. No matter what happened between them, at the very least, she knew that she owed Erica for that.

She was sitting in the lobby of the hospital waiting for her friends for the last fifteen minutes, when finally Lexie and Sloan walked out of the elevator.

“About time.” She said, getting up to greet them.

“Sorry we’re late. Mark was just being a little chicken.”

“Hey.” Mark grumbled, putting on his leather jacket.

“Cluck, cluck, cluck.”

“What’s going on?” Callie asked, amused.

“Dr. Sloany here is afraid of needles.” Lexie teased, pulling on a green wool hat.

“Am not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, he’s not.” Callie supported.

“Oh please, he almost fainted, Betty was going to get his blood and you should have seen him, before she could come two steps in, he had turned completely white. Like egg-white.”

“Ooh.” Callie said, scrunching up her face and nodding once as understanding set in. Then she was shaking her head, “I’ve given him shots before, and it’s not the needle.”

“Thank you! I’m not afraid of a needle Lex.”

“Baby, it’s okay. You don’t have to be tough. I love you just as you are.”

“It’s not the damn needle.”

“It really isn’t Lexie. I thought you knew this.” Callie said, patting Sloan’s back.

“What? What don’t I know?”

“You can’t make fun of me, it’s a serious thing.” Sloan pouted.

“I won’t, I promise.”

“You sure?”

“Scout’s honor.”

“It’s the blood.” Callie said gravely, trying to stop herself from smiling.

“It’s the s-s-sucking of the blood through and out of my vein,” Sloan interjected, making a slurping noise through the words and looking sick in the process. “S-sucking...out...my blood…”

A long moment passed in silence, both Mark and Callie waiting for Lexie’s reaction. And then Lexie, who was always so gentle and understanding, was busting out laughing. “Are you kidding?”

Her reaction was so funny that Callie couldn’t stop herself either.

“Nice, very nice. Both of you.” Sloan crossed his arms and looked away.

“I’m sorry. It’s just, ‘the s-s-sucking’?” Lexie asked, snorting through her laughter. Building up on each other, Callie and Lexie continued until they were bumping into and holding onto each other to remain standing and tears were running down their cheeks.

“Very mature…is Sadie coming or what?”

“Here! Right here,” Sadie’s voice interrupted, as she joined them in the lobby. “Sorry, I was in Hahn’s surgery. It ran a little late.” She said, taking in the scene in front of her. “What did I miss?”

“Nothing.” Sloan snarled, leaving no room for argument.

“O-kay.” Sadie said, looking at Callie, with raised eyebrows.

“Later,” Callie silently mouthed, trying to stop her chuckling.

The ‘ding’ of the elevator had them all turning around to see Erica walking up to them. She was wearing her beige overcoat, and carrying a Luis Vuitton briefcase in her hand. Callie instantly sobered up and straightening, ran a hand through her hair.

“Chief?” Sadie was the first to address her.

“Doctor Harris.”

She acknowledged Lexie with a tip of her head and turned towards Mark and Callie, “Dr. Sloan, Dr. Torres.” Her voice was the softest when she said her name and Callie felt herself smile in response.

“Hey.” She said, her voice soft as well. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to let you know that I rescheduled Mr. Gibson’s surgery to 12:30 pm tomorrow, instead of 8.00 a.m.”

“How come?” Sloan asked.

“I want to give his body a few more hours to settle after today’s ordeal. I was just with him and I think we should let him regain a little strength before we open him up again. Just to be safe.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Callie agreed. “That’s a good idea.”

“Sloan?” Erica asked.

“That’s fine.” He agreed.

“Alright. That’s all I had to say, so I won’t keep you. Have a good night.”

“You too.” Callie replied but before Erica could move away, Sadie cut in, “Hey Chief?”

“Yes?”

“We’re actually just going over to Joe’s to have a drink.” She said coming to stand next to Callie, and draping an arm over her shoulder, “You’re welcome to join us if you’d like. Right guys?”

Erica’s eyes followed Sadie’s arm for a moment and quickly left it to settle on the group, expressionlessly.

After a quick moment of stunned silence Lexie answered for the group. “Of course. You should come, it’ll be fun.”

Erica looked around quickly and settled on Callie’s eyes searchingly, “I um…”

Callie shrugged and smiled shyly, letting her know that it was up to her.

“Come on.” Sadie encouraged.

Erica looked up at Sadie and sighed. “I can’t I’m sorry. I actually have a date” she cleared her throat, “with a number of dusty boxes. I haven’t had a chance to unpack since I’ve been back, but thank you for the invite.”

“Sure.”

“Rain-check?” she asked, but her eyes were looking into Callie’s.

Callie nodded once, and Erica gave her an almost invisible smile, but Callie saw it.

“Definitely.” Sadie assured.

“Good night.”

The group mumbled a jumbled “Goodnight.” And then Erica was gone and Callie was turning to Sadie and rolling her eyes, “Smooth.”

“Hey, it’s all for you babe.”

“Uhuh.”

“Are we going or what?” Sloan asked, sounding bored.

“Let’s,” Callie agreed, linking her arm with Sadie’s. “Let’s have a drink.”

They started walking out and then out of nowhere Lexie was doing the sucking-slurping sound again with her mouth, “s-sucking” which had Callie laughing again and Sloan storming up ahead of them. “That’s it. You’re sleeping on the couch tonight missy.”

“Baby, I’m sorry.” Lexie begged, running after him, though she was still chuckling. “I looove you!”

* * * * * * * *

“That was such a rush.”

“Wasn’t it?”

Callie and Erica walked out of the OR together, riding the usual high that came after a particularly complex surgery. Everything had gone according to plan and, fingers crossed, Mr. Gibson would soon be walking out of this hospital. That was saying a lot for a patient who had been paralyzed for the better part of two years.

“Seriously, I’m getting addicted to these high intensity surgeries. Ever since you’ve been back it’s like one after the other.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“Are you kidding, it’s a great thing. I’m having so much fun.”

“Well I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself, I don’t know about everybody else but...” Erica trailed off, dropping her file onto the nurses’ desk and giving Callie a look that said that she wasn’t so sure.

“What are you talking about? Everyone I know is having a blast. Everybody is…The whole hospital is buzzing with this energy. Everyday it’s like, ‘what’s it gonna be next?’ Just the other day Christina and I were talking about how much the hospital has already changed in such a short time.” At Erica’s raised eyebrows she added, “In a good way.”

Erica smiled modestly, though it looked strained as though she knew something Callie didn’t, and flipped a page, in an obvious effort to change the subject.

“No seriously Erica, I mean yes we are working harder than ever and yes the pressure of excellence is sometimes a little heavy on the shoulders, but it’s also pushing people to be better. And the cases you’ve lined up are so interesting that I doubt anyone is complaining.”

Erica smiled once again, this time more relaxed. “I’ll take your word for it.”

“You should. I’m telling you I’m having a great time and Christina is like…orgasmic.”

As soon as she said it, and saw Erica’s eyes widen, she regretted her choice of words. This was not something you said to a mere colleague, though the more time they spent together the more she needed to remind herself of that fact. If she were honest, stopping from falling back to the way they used to be around each other-easy and uncensored- was proving to be almost impossible.

Cursing herself internally she felt her cheeks warm. Thankfully Erica simply laughed it off and continued as though she hadn’t said anything out of the ordinary.

“Ha. That’s because you and her are hardcore. Not everyone is like you Callie.”

“Did someone say something to you?”

Erica shook her head. “No. I’m just saying that there are bound to be some people who don’t like it or who can simply not handle it.”

“I guess.”

“And at least this way we find out who’s really cut out for this job and who’s not. A person can be really nice but that doesn’t mean that he or she belongs here. ”

“Right.” Callie was growing more confused by the minute. At first it had seemed like Erica was in need of a little reassurance about running the hospital but now it felt like they were talking about something more specific. “Did something happen?”

Erica looked at her contemplatively for a long moment and then shook her head. “No. It’s nothing; forget about it.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s really nothing, just some administrative stuff on my mind.” Smiling calmingly, she reached over and squeezed Callie’s shoulder, “Don’t worry about it.”

It had been a reflex, a simple gesture meant to reassure, but it was also the first time Erica had touched her in three years. Feeling her strong, steady, and yet gentle grip on her shoulder had Callie’s heart beat rushing. It seemed like every part of her body’s awareness was directly focused on that one specific part where they were touching.
Like everything else was suddenly, unexpectedly blurry and the only clear thing was Erica’s fingers on her shoulder. Her eyes had traveled down to take in the scene before she had the sense to feign disinterest. And then she was looking up into Erica’s eyes.

But Erica wasn’t looking at her. She was looking at her hand; her mouth open, her eyes helpless, like her hand wasn’t a part of herself that she could control or pull back. Not for a long moment, not before her thumb very distinctly brushed over Callie’s arm at least twice. Not before their eyes found each other and held painfully for the length of a breath.

Then Erica was pulling back and looking away. She cleared her throat and, crossing her arms in front of her, tucked her hand tightly under her arm, as though she was trapping the limb from fear of having it move again.

She looked so vulnerable that Callie found herself reaching over before she could stop herself. “Hey,” she put her hand on Erica’s locked arms. When Erica finally looked up to meet her eyes, she smiled and watched in amazement as Erica’s lips slowly but surely curled up into a smile as well. Erica’s arms loosened and she straightened up a little, looking more like herself.

After a long moment, Erica tipped her head, “I should get going; I have a consult.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah…but...”

“Hmm?”

“Later…I was um, I was…” she said, leaning onto the nurses desk, trying to look relaxed. “I was thinking of going to Joe’s after my shift and um, I was wondering, maybe you…”

“Callie?” The voice that interrupted Erica belonged to someone Callie knew, of that she was sure, and as she turned around to see who it was, all she could think about was how much the timing of this sucked.

“Jane? What-what are you doing here?”

“I had to see you, even if it was for just one more time.”

“Huh?” Callie croaked, seeing no trace of humor on Jane’s face.

“I want us to be together, I haven’t slept since the day you left.”

Callie was shocked into silence, and somewhere in the background she heard footsteps moving away but she couldn’t look away from Jane who was looking desperate and on the verge of tears.

Only, after a long moment of tense silence, instead of crying Jane was bursting out laughing.

“Kidding. Ha ha, kidding…that was such a ‘Six Feet Under’ moment.”

“Huh?”

“You know, the old HBO show, with Claire… No? Right. Um…I was kidding, I’m sorry I couldn’t help myself, you looked so freaked there for a moment.”

Callie let out a strangled, one-syllable laugh. “I, I wasn’t freaked.” She said, trying to regain her breathing; her stomach slowly letting go of her feet and climbing back to its original place from where it had fallen.

“Yeah, okay.” Jane smiled, still chuckling. “That actually teaches me not to joke around, it’s a defense mechanism, I’m sorry. I was nervous about coming here,”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, I was doing my winter cleaning and I found something that belonged to you under my bed.”

“Oh…right.”

“And it did give me an excuse to see you, so I brought it over.” She opened her bag and took out a little package that was gift-wrapped.

At Callie’s raised eyebrows, she smiled and shrugged. “I didn’t want it to look awkward, my giving you a pair of lace panties at your work.”

“Thank you.” Callie smiled, finally more amused than horrified.

“I would have called, but I didn’t have your number, and I just remembered that you worked here…Also, I do have to pick up my dry-cleaning from the laundry mat up the street so I was in the area.”

“Thanks. You really didn’t have to.”

“Don’t mention it.” She said, waving a hand in dismissal. After a moment of silence, she gave Callie a strained smile, looking like she was starting to feel a little out of place now that she had delivered her package and there was nothing left to say.

“How have you been?” Callie asked, trying to make the moment a little less awkward for Jane.

“Oh, good. Great, same old same old, you know.”

Callie raised her eyebrows again, grinning.

“Actually you don’t know. But you know, good.”

“Good.”

“How about you?”

Callie took in a deep breath, “I’ve been okay.”

“Just okay?”

Callie smiled, “I’ve been…” she thought about it for a minute and nodded, “Okay. Yeah, that’s the right word.”

“You look different.”

“Do I?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I’m in my work clothes, so maybe that’s it.”

“Nah, that’s not it.”

“Hmm.” She said, wondering how exactly she looked different. Had the last month, possibly the strangest month of her life left its mark on her face? Almost losing Maria, that had to have affected her in some subconscious way. Yes. And having Erica back in her life had changed her that was for sure. Probably in more ways than she even realized. She was having much less sex for one thing, or rather no sex at all. How long had it been since she had gotten any? Weeks, her mind supplied in astonishment. This was the longest she had gone without sex in a long, long time. But that couldn’t be visible to the outside world, could it?

She smiled politely and shrugged.

Jane tipped her head and pulled her bag onto her shoulder. “Anyway…gotta pick up my shirts before they close, so....”

“Yeah, okay.” Callie nodded.

Jane took one step back and paused, “I’d say that my offer still stands, but something tells me that my chances are even lower now.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Instinct…Am I wrong?”

She was impressively perceptive. Callie couldn’t deny that. And she was forthright and honest. All qualities Callie respected in a person.

Callie sighed and took a step closer to her, “Jane I really like you, I do. And I would love to get to know you better,”

“But?”

“But,” She said softly, with all the sincerity in the world, “can I do that as your friend?”

Jane chuckled once, shaking her head and smiling knowingly. And then shrugging, she nodded and let out a long breath. “Sure. Why not…”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, friends are good.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure.”

“Great.” She said, meaning it. Jane was interesting. She had thought that the first time she had met her and as long as Jane accepted where Callie stood, she would welcome the opportunity to get to know her.

“So, friend,” Jane said, checking her watch, “you wanna get a cup of coffee?”

“What about the laundry mat?”

“It can wait.”

Callie checked her watch as well and then looked back to where Erica had been standing. And even though she knew that she had left right after Jane had showed up, seeing the spot empty stung somewhere deep inside of her.

She has a consult, she reminded herself. That meant that Callie had two options.
She could either have a cup of coffee with this cool new person who gift-wrapped her underwear for her, or she could sit and stew, and over-analyze what Erica had been about to ask her, what that meant, and what she would have said.

She looked up at a hopeful Jane and smiled. She had time for coffee.

“Let’s do it.”

“Great.”

“Come on, I know a place.”

They started walking towards the elevators side by side. After a moment, Jane turned towards her and playfully asked, “When you say friends, you don’t mean friends with benefits do you?”

Callie was laughing and shaking her head when she walked into the elevator.

“I have to introduce you to a friend of mine. You guys are gonna love each other.”

* * * * * * * * * *

After All This Time... (11/?)

2009-03-04T14:19:33Z

After All This Time
By Bella Taggart

Part 11/?

Five days after Maria’s surgery, they were allowed to leave the hospital. Though Maria insisted on going to the Archfield as planned, Callie wouldn’t hear of it. Not after almost losing her. She wasn’t going to take any chances; as long as they were staying in Seattle, they would be staying in her home, where she could keep watch of her progress. This was not the reason she gave Maria of course. With her she simply used emotional blackmail.

About how little time they got to spend together, and didn’t she want to see Callie as much as she could, or was there something more important she wanted to do cause Callie didn’t want to stand in her way if there was…It was getting a little old, that one, but it always worked, so Callie figured she might as well use it until it didn’t.

In response, Maria pursed her lips and met her father’s eyes helplessly. Callie kept her smile hidden while her father attempted to make a comment about there not being enough rooms for the two of them.

To which Callie said, to Maria’s great shock, “No problem, you two lovebirds can stay together.”

Maria gasped and turned to look at Callie’s father with wide, questioning eyes.

He closed his mouth which had fallen open, gave Callie a stern look and turned towards Maria apologetically. “It was time Amore.”

“Santos.” Was the only thing Maria was able to say after that.

“Don’t give him a hard time Ria, he was sick with worry when he confessed his undying love for you.”

“You didn’t!” Maria gasped, covering her mouth with her palm, looking at him like she was in a dream. All the while her eyes glowed with something that looked a lot like happiness.

Callie’s father nodded, smiling. “I did.”

Then he got up, sat on the arm of her chair, took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. Maria was too shocked to say anything. She just sat there, her eyes filling with unshed tears as they stared into each other’s eyes, emotion flowing through the air into each other.

Callie had to look away, feeling like she was witnessing too private a moment. She wasn’t used to seeing this much love so openly on these faces. They had really kept it hidden much better than Callie had given them credit for. She had suspected that they were involved, that they loved each other in their own way but this was something else. This was real and raw and after all these years still so alive. She felt a sudden lump in her throat. After giving them another moment, she cleared her throat and announced, “Excellent. So, it’s settled, you’ll stay with me.”

At first it had been strange seeing them together, as in together. And that first morning she had opened her door to see them coming out of their bedroom-their bedroom-had been kind of weird for all of them, she suspected. But it wasn’t bad. It was just new. And she had made sure that they knew she was ok with it. They had looked at her unable to say anything, frozen in place. She had taken a step towards them and cheerily asked “Coffee?” and that was that. Things had settled to a routine after that and before she knew it a week had passed.

And then, they were gone.

All in all they had spent almost two weeks together. It had been years since she had spent so much time with her family in one time. And despite the circumstances she found that she had missed it; having people to come home to, to talk to, and to eat with. Having love around; it had been nice.

And now she was back at work, full time. She wasn’t complaining though, as much as she enjoyed spending time with her family, she had missed the adrenalin of her job. Part time just wasn’t enough. That’s because I love my job, she reminded herself. And she kept on reminding herself of that fact as she finished up bandaging the wrist of a teenage boy who had fallen off his bike, trying to impress his friends with his “signature move.” That’s what he had called it. Callie couldn’t believe the nerve of these kids nowadays. The least he could have done was to wear some protective gear when jumping from the roof of one car to the next with his little BMX bike.

Seriously, where were his parents? He could have been badly hurt. She caught her line of thinking and chuckled humorlessly… She sounded like her mother. Perhaps she was getting older.

She was sitting by the reception area of the clinic, filling out the necessary forms for the idiot on wheels, when she heard the distressed voice of the woman standing in the exam room across from her. She looked up, curious.

“I’m sorry, she doesn’t like doctors.” The woman apologized, standing next to her young daughter who was sitting on the bed, hiding behind her.

By the looks of it Carev was having a hard time examining a little girl.

Callie smirked, shaking her head. Though Carev had turned out to have a special understanding of babies, the same could not be said of children.

After a few more tries, Callie decided to take pity on him and go help. The woman looked frustrated, the girl looked like she was about to cry and Carev looked panicked, about to flee the scene, even.

She stood up and just as she was leaving her chair behind the desk, she saw Erica walk in to the exam room. Callie felt her heart beat speed up, looking around making sure that no-one had noticed her breath hitching in her throat, she settled back down and started watching her as discreetly as possible.

“I’ll take over here Carev, go next door and see if you can help Doctor Simmons.” Erica ordered as she reached over for the file in his hand.

“Yes ma’am,” he said, making a hasty retreat, looking relieved. “Thank you, ma’am.”

Enough with the ma’am already Callie thought, rolling her eyes.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Hahn. What seems to be the problem?”

“Yes, well, my daughter has these headaches... but she’s a little…” she turned down towards her little girl, trying to untangle her from her back “baby, if you’ll just sit up, let the nice doctor look at you and we can go. I promise.”

The girl just hung on more tightly to her, shaking her head. Straightening up, the mother blew out an exasperated breath, looked at Erica apologetically and than once again down at her daughter.

“Oh I see.” Said Erica, and after a moment added, “anyway I can’t examine her.”

The mother’s head quickly spun back to Erica’s. “Why-why not?” She asked hesitantly.

“I couldn’t examine her even if she wanted me to. I’m sorry, I just can’t.” Erica said very seriously.

Callie’s eyes opened as wide as the mother’s. What was going on here? She had never seen Erica refuse an examination before.

“Not before I do my ritual.” Erica added, after a long moment.

“Hmm? Your...”

“Ritual. Yes.” Erica said, reaching into her pocket. “You see, before I do anything today, I have to do this. So, if you don’t mind.”

The mother looked as puzzled as Callie felt, but Erica simply smiled at her reassuringly.

“It’s a habit of mine, you understand, to start the day with some magic.”

“M-magic?” the mother asked.

Callie could see the kid release her death grip on her mother’s leg, a little bit.

Erica nodded, “Yes. Some call it a magic trick, but I assure you there is no trick. It’s simply a matter of a coin” she held up a quarter, “like this one, disappearing into thin air.”

“Oh.”

“Yes…You must have heard of it Nurse Rachel?”

The chubby, pink-faced nurse jerked towards her in hearing her name.

“Ma’am?”

“My magical ritual of the disappearing coin?”

“Riiight.” The woman said slowly, stretching the word, sounding unsure.

The child was still covering behind her mother. Erica shook her head dismissively at the nurse and tried for a new alliance.

“How about you Mrs. Potter, have you heard of the magical disappearing coin?”

The mother looked too stunned to move.

Before she could say anything Callie found herself stepping into the room.

“Excuse me? Did I hear correctly, Dr. Hahn, are you going to make the coin disappear?”

The kid’s head poked out from behind her mother’s torso for the first time, interest finally painting her eyes.

Erica seemed startled to find Callie there for a moment, than quickly recovered.

“Why yes. You heard correctly.”

“Ooh, how exciting. I’d heard that some people are able to do that but I have never actually seen it done before, do you mind if I watch?”

“But of course, please have a seat.” She said, adapting a foreign accent, and earning a giggle from both the mother and Callie in return. The little girl was a tougher crowd.

Erica held the coin in her right hand, holding it between her thumb and index finger.

“Now, please watch carefully. This coin will soon disappear from my hand and then re-appear on the most special person in the room. Here we go.”

Looking like she was concentrating an awful lot, she brought her left hand to the right and took the coin into the closed palm of her left hand. Then holding out her fist she whispered. “Now for the most important part. For this to work, everyone has to blow on my fist and say ‘abrah cadabra.’ Can you do that?”

Callie went first, blowing and repeating the magical words. Then the mother, who had by this point caught onto the game, and finally-though a little reluctantly-the little girl.

Than Erica herself blew on her fist and said the words. When she opened her fist, the coin was nowhere to be seen. Surprised gasps filled the room. The little girl’s eyes were now fully open, shining with interest, watching her every move.

Erica made as though she was feeling the energy around the room through her hands, first moving in front of Callie, than the mother than finally the little girl. She slowly reached towards the girl’s ear, gently pulled on the lobe and than brought her hand back in front of her, where everyone could see it. This time between her fingers was the quarter that had disappeared.

Everyone clapped excitedly. “How did you do that?” The girl squeaked, too awed to remain silent.

Erica wiggled her eyebrows. “Magic.”

After that the check-up went much more smoothly.

Callie watched as Erica took care of the girl. She had never seen Erica around children before, and somewhere deep inside she felt a frozen part of her melt at the scene. She was so good with the kid, so playful. It was beautiful really, and annoying at the same time. If she kept on finding new things she liked about Erica how was she supposed to be neutral about her? Because that was the point, wasn’t it? To be neutral; absent of animosity or longing so that they could be colleagues and then perhaps one day, friends. Yes that was the point, and yet she couldn’t help but wish that this moment, where she was inadvertently allowed behind the usual front Erica put up, could stretch out and hold them there for as long as possible.

“Julie, do you know how to read?” Erica asked, turning towards the girl.

Julie was as talkative as all little girls who discovered they had an attentive audience, now.

“I can read and write.”

Erica opened her eyes wide, impressed. “Really? You must be very smart.”

The girl nodded once again, looking proud. “I can count to 100.” She said intent on listing all her accomplishments.

“Oh, wow, 100 is a big number. Can you, let’s say, count to ten for me?”

She smiled like she had been waiting just for that and counted to ten in one long breath.

“Excellent.” Erica praised and clapped. “You deserve a lollipop for that for sure.” She looked back to the mother and asked “Can she have one before lunch?”

The mother nodded, smiling through grateful eyes.

Julie was beaming as she reached for her prize.

“What do we say?” the mother asked.

“Thank you” a tiny voice replied.

“You’re welcome...now, let’s see what else you can do, ahm” Erica pretended to be thinking. “Oh I know, although this is quite difficult…”

“What?” Julie asked excitedly, eager to prove that she could, whatever it was.

“You see this finger?” she said holding up her pointing finger in front of Julie’s eyes. “Now I’m going to move it around, like this, but you have to follow it with your eyes, and you can’t turn your head around, just your eyes.”

Julie did as she was told.

“Well done,”

“That was easy.” Julie said.

“Oh was it? Then let’s find something harder.” She said and carried on testing the child. After a short while they were done. Erica put down the leaflet she had been holding up and came to sit next to the girl on the bed.

“That was a lot of fun, Thank you.” She said looking down at the kid.

Julie smiled up at her in delight.

“You know Julie, when I was little, I couldn’t see leaves.”

Callie had been standing on the other side of the bed, letting her mind wander, when Erica’s word snapped her to attention. She felt herself straighten up and stopped herself just as soon as she had started moving; trying to avoid pulling any attention onto herself as Erica kept talking.

“When I went to a forest and looked up at trees all I saw were big green blobs. Can you believe that?” she asked in a sing song voice.

Callie couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She thought back to the time she had first heard this story. How different it had sounded through Erica’s tears; how profound a moment it had been. How utterly she had screwed it up. And now she was hearing it again, like she had heard it a million times in her head for months after Erica had left.
And yet, not like that at all.

Julie shook her head. “Why?”

“Because I needed glasses. But I didn’t know I needed glasses. Than one day, after having headaches just like you, I went to a clinic just like this one, and a nice doctor in a white coat just like this told me that I couldn’t see very well. That’s why I had the headaches, she said and that’s why I had to wear glasses, so that I wouldn’t have head aches any more.”

“And, and did you wear the glasses?”

“Yes I did.”

“And then what happened?”

“And then, I could see leaves, and flowers and many other things that I didn’t know existed.”

“But you don’t wear them now.” Julie said.

“I don’t any more, I had surgery...”

Callie briefly wondered if that was supposed to be some kind of a dig meant for her; if that meant that Erica was straight as an arrow now. Who knew? Anything could happen in the twilight zone, because that’s where Callie had to be. What else could explain this out-of-this-world moment?

“But for many years I wore beautiful glasses. And I looked so cool, you should have seen it Julie.”

“Big, thick ones like Grandma’s?”

“No, small, colorful ones. There were many colors to choose from then; there are even more now-red, yellow, and pink glasses-Now you can have anything you want.”

“And I won’t have headaches if I have glasses too?”

“Exactly. You are a very smart little girl. Are you sure you’re five? You must be at least seven.”

Julie smiled shyly and when Erica reached to tickle the bottom of her feet, she giggled and laughed out loud. Both her mother and Erica joined in on her laughter. Callie stood there, watching, still in shock, trying to snap herself out of it.

“All right, here is what we will do. I have a very special friend, Doctor Johnson" Erica explained.

“Like the shampoo?”

Erica met Callie’s eyes, her own eyebrows mirroring Callie’s raised ones in surprise, and chuckled. The kid really did have a quick connective mind.

“Right, like the shampoo. He is going to come here and take you guys inside, where you’re going to play a few more games. Okay? And then afterwards, you and your mom can go to the shop and pick any pair of glasses that you want, “ She bent down to whisper the rest to her ear, though it was more a stage whisper at best. “and just between you and me, I have it on good authority that if you are a good girl, you can get another lollipop out of this deal, if you know what I mean.”

Julie’s eyes opened in excitement and she nodded eagerly.

Erica winked at her conspiringly and stood up.

“Thank you. Thank you so much Doctor.” The mother came to shake her hand.

“My pleasure. You have a very bright kid right there.”

“Thank you.”

“Dr. Johnson will be right in.” She said, taking a few steps towards the curtain and holding it open she turned back to Callie, “Dr. Torres shall we?”

Callie blinked once. “Right.” She quickly crossed the room, smiling to the girl and the mother on her way out.

“Say bye to the nice doctors Jules.” The mother instructed.

Julie waved. “Bye to the nice doctors.”

“Bye.” Erica smiled, and followed Callie out.

* * * * *

They came to a stop by the nurses’ station. Looking at each other and looking away, back and forth a few times between quick strained smiles, both stood around awkwardly, silently. It seemed now that they were alone; they had forgotten how to speak again.

In truth, despite wanting to prolong being near Erica, Callie couldn’t think of anything to say to her. She was still trying to process hearing the leaves story. Could Erica have forgotten telling her about it? It didn’t seem possible. Not when Callie remembered every word, every tear, every moment of that awful morning. Awful, because she had left her in that bed, weeping. And for what, so that Sloan could ease her panic? God, she had been so stupid. How many times she had relived that morning in her head. Doing things differently each time. Getting into bed with her, kissing away her tears, making love to her until neither one could even remember ever being upset. She had done it all, anything that would have stopped Erica from leaving. Of course reality was a different matter.

“You were…” she mumbled, before she could think better of it.

“Hmm?” Erica looked up to meet her eyes.

Callie cleared her throat, smiled and tried again. “You were really good in there.”

“Oh, thanks…Thanks for coming in when you did.”

“Sure.”

She took a deep breath, “So it was just glasses she needed, after all.” Callie squeaked, her throat tightening as she said it, her heartbeat tripling up and worst of all, her cheeks burning.

Erica looked at her for a long moment, her face indecipherable. Giving no clue as to what she was thinking; a long moment that kept on stretching and stretching, until finally she sighed and nodded once.

“Yeah.”

Callie’s hands had gone clammy. She blinked once and swallowed. Another moment passed in trying silence and then, words left unsaid weighing heavily on her, she cleared her throat and aimed for lighter grounds.

“I didn’t know that you knew magic tricks.”

“It’s not a trick. It’s a ritual.” Erica said, dead on.

“Ha…right.” Callie laughed and then smiled, too spontaneously for it to be strained.

And to her great surprise, Erica’s eyes widened and before she could help it, she smiled too. Just a little bit. With just the tiniest curve of her lips and just the shine in her eyes, she smiled and Callie felt herself warm up. Like a ray of sun had just fallen on her.

Before she had the time to feel bad about feeling good because of Erica, some intern interrupted them.

“Chief?”

“Yes?”

“Dr. Connor needs you in the pit.”

“Right…Dr. Torres.” she said, nodding once to Callie, as she started walking away.

“Dr. Hahn.” Callie nodded as well, watching her leave.

Things were nowhere near great, she was still going through a range of uncontrollable emotions each time she saw her. But looking back at the little kid, sucking on her lollipop, Callie thought, at least they had reached some kind of truce for today.

For now, it was enough...

It was a start…

* * * * * *

After All This Time... (10/?)

2009-02-20T08:10:00Z

Title: After All This Time...
Author: Bella Taggart
Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy
Summary: 3 Years have passed since the day Erica Hahn walked out of Callie Torres's life. When professional life brings them back together, they must figure out how and if they fit into each other’s lives, after all this time…
What to expect: Angst, passion and most of all, love.
Pairing: Callie/Erica eventually...
Rating: NC-17 just to be safe
Spoiler: Through s5e7 (Rise Up)
Archiving: Only with the permission of the author
Note: Thank you so much to callicafan4eva for the great beta work.
Feedback: Please :) You can reach me at bellataggart@gmail.com
Disclaimer: All characters, events, settings and situations mentioned in this work are sole property of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, in constitutes fair use. References to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context and are not intended to be defamatory or factual in anyway.

After All This Time
By Bella Taggart

Part 10/?

It had been hours; hours of sitting in silent agony, trying to look strong for her father. Hours of waiting to hear any news, her breath catching in her throat each and every time someone walked down the hallway towards her; hours of trying to catch a word in the hushed voices of nurses, of trying to decipher what a doctor’s raised eyebrow or tilt of his head might mean in regards to Maria.

She hated it; every single minute of it.

She was the doctor; she was the one who was supposed to deliver news on a patient, not the other way around.

The few times that a scrub nurse did come to give her an update, she felt like her heart was going to beat right out of her chest.

Waiting rooms were no place for a doctor.

Her dad hadn’t said more than a few words to her this whole time. He simply sat by the far corner of the room, his head held low, as though he was waiting for the guillotine to drop at any moment; silent, and already mourning, despite all her efforts to assure him that everything would be fine.

True, it might have worked better, had she believed that herself. She didn’t, and yet, she couldn’t not believe it either. Stuck somewhere between dread and hope, she sat alone in the very seat that started the waiting room, having long given up on the notion of trying to engage her father in conversation, and kept watch of the corridor.

Working through things by talking was definitely not a trait she had inherited from him. He was more the solitary; throw it all inside kind of person. Though he didn’t know it, this was something he shared with Erica.

Erica, whose strings of control had been wound so tight she looked liked she could spring at any moment. Callie had never seen her look quite so serious or angry before. Then again, she had never faced off with Dr. Erica Hahn the chief of surgery before. So goddamn principled, she was; everything-so damn black and white.

It must be an easier life, Callie thought, seeing everything so clearly, definitely, with the conviction of right and wrong. Dr. Hahn was unaffected by uncertainties and immune to hesitation that came with living to those of ordinary flesh and blood.

The Erica she knew had always been strong too, but she had also been soft and warm. The rest of the hospital might not have agreed with her, but to her, she had been. Callie remembered her softness, like she remembered the feel of her breast against her cheek. Like she remembered the feel of her tongue in her mouth, wet and slippery; like she remembered the scent of her peach shampoo, the same one she had inhaled only hours before, standing shoulder to shoulder, staring into her eyes, fighting the urge to push her out of her way.

So cold, she had been, ordering her out, stubborn and unbending. And yet, to her great dismay, Callie realized, so hot too.

That she should realize the fact that she still desperately, indisputably wanted Erica, in the height of her hurt and anger, at a time when she felt sick with worry, made her believe once more in the cruel sense of humor of the divine deity above.

She snorted, shaking her head. And then, took her head in her palms and closed her eyes.

This was not the time to be dissing God; she took in a deep breath and decided, this was the time to pray.

She tried remembering prayers she had learned as a little girl. The ones her mother had taught her. But found that she couldn’t. The holy words had slipped out of her mind in time, inconspicuously and quietly. She didn’t recall a single whole prayer.

She shook her head again, and making up her mind, bowed her head and covered her eyes once more. Any god that was worth praying to would understand her words no matter what form or language they came in. Talking would have to do.

“Dear God” she started internally, “Please, save her…”

She had been at it a while, when she heard quick footsteps coming closer. She looked up nervously. It was Christina.

“I was in surgery, I just heard. Are you ok?”

Callie shrugged, helplessly. “They won’t let me in.”

“What can I do?”

“Go. Just go inside, help them.”

Christina nodded, and rushed off, leaving Callie to do the only thing she was allowed to do; watch.

When she took the seat next to her father, he didn’t even notice her.

“Dad?” She asked.

There wasn’t a reply. He just kept on staring out the window, his mind far away. She put her hand on his arm, “Daddy?”

“Hmm?” He looked up, startled. “Is there news?”

“No. Christina just got here; she’s gone in to help. She’s really good dad. One of the best I know. She’ll-it’ll be ok.”

Her father looked back at her blankly, which made her all the more convinced that she had to persuade him into believing that everything would really be all right. He had heart problems. Ten years ago he had had a heart attack. Things looked fine now- thanks to Maria’s insistence of a healthy diet-but any kid on the street could tell you that stress was not a good thing for the heart. So she kept talking.

“And Dr. Bailey is in there, she’s a great pediatrician.”

At her father’s raised eyebrows, she quickly added, “She has an extensive background in general surgery, so you don’t have to worry. And Dr. Shephard is in there. He’s the guy that has the method, remember, for treating malignant gliomas? The one that was in the medical journal, you sent me?”

“Hmm”. He nodded.

“She’s in good hands; great hands. Erica is- Dr. Hahn is leading them, and she’s- she’s very good…She’s actually the best surgeon I know.” As she said it, she realized, despite whatever else, that fact was absolutely true. “And she’s the chief of surgery…She’s got very good hands. Steady, and confidant and excellent technique” Her words were coming out without effort now, in a stream of consciousness. Staring into space, she continued speaking and for the first time that day really believed what she was saying. “Maria’s gonna be just fine. Erica will do everything that’s humanly possible to save her. She knows how important Maria is…She won’t let anything happen to her. I know it. I’m sure of it.”

When she finished, she noticed that her father was looking at her curiously with an expression of awe across his face.

“What?” She asked after a moment, smiling.

He shook his head, dismissing the question. Pulled her towards him and kissed the top of her head. She rested her head on his shoulder, like she used to do when she was a little girl and literally felt it become a little easier to breath.

They stayed that way a while, both lost in their own thoughts. Then very quietly her father whispered, “Calliope?”

“Hmm?”

“Maria and I…”

“Yes?”

He was silent for a long moment, and then, very gently, he confessed, “I love her.”

She looked up at him and met his sad eyes knowingly, she smiled and nodded, “I know.”

He looked surprised for a moment, and then chuckled, like he should have known that she would know. She nodded again smiling genuinely, and he shrugged as in silent explanation of why he hadn’t told her before. Then, she squeezed his arm and settled back against his shoulder. He rested his chin back on her forehead, and sighed like he had been holding that breath in forever.

Not long after that Sadie and Sloan arrived, and then Lexie, and eventually Meredith as well.

Her friends had come in to keep her company, give her support. There were already too many hands in the OR as it was, but at least they were able to take turns in keeping her and her father updated.

They sat with her, throughout the whole miserable night, bringing her coffee or food to her father, holding her hand or providing a shoulder to lean on and then, when the news that there were complication came their way, assuring and re-assuring her that everything would be fine. And despite her insistence on saying things like “You should go home.” and “There’s nothing you can do.” and “It’s Thanksgiving.” nobody left, they simply stayed and carried her through.

Sloan did scrub in, in the final stages, when the time for closing the incisions were at hand, he went in and made sure that Maria came out with the smallest scar possible.

Maria’s surgery had started at 5 pm. And after almost 9 hours of intensive work, at 1.45 a.m. it ended.

Christina came out first, and the first thing out of her mouth was what Callie was desperately hoping to hear “She’s ok.”

The rest were details about how the surgery had gone, about repairing the lung, and stopping the bleeding. About the complication- how they had closed her up to see that she had started hemorrhaging again and so they had to open her up a second time- and so on and so forth.

But those were not important. The most important thing now was that she was ok. She would have to rest and it would take her a few weeks to get back to normal, but barring post op. complications, she’d be fine.

She’d be fine.

Callie felt her eyes fill in relief as she got up to hug her father. His face mirrored hers.
After a long moment, she pulled back and put her arms around Christina. “Thank you, thank you.”

Christina held her, “It’s ok, she’s ok.” She whispered, against her ear while the others patted her back and made triumphant comments. Each in their own way, were letting out a breath of relief.

Sloan came out and called her over, “She’s in the recovery room, if you wanna see her Cal.”

And then she was standing over Maria, silent tears running down her cheeks, as she looked at her bruised face. The surgery was a success, her vitals were steady, she was going to be fine.

So what if she had to repeat that a few times, to believe it.

* * * * *

She had stood vigil by Maria’s bed until morning; sitting, standing, pacing along the room, watching everything from Maria’s breathing, her fever, her fluctuating pulse and blood pressure-rising as she went through a patch of pain and falling again when she fell back asleep- to the color of the liquid that filled her urine bag.

Callie had stood guard against any malady that might steal Maria away.

And Maria, coming into and out of consciousness, moaning in pain or discomfort in irregular intervals, dripping tears of sweat one minute and shaking in chills the next, had made it till morning.

It had been one of the longest nights of Callie’s life. But morning had come and with it had brought light and hope. Some color had returned to Maria’s face and more importantly her vitals had settled into a stable steady line for the last three hours and counting.

At 8.30, only five hours after she had finally been able to convince her father to go home and get some sleep, he returned.

“Good morning,” He whispered, tiptoeing into the room.

She left her post by the window and walking up to him, kissed his cheeks. “Hey, Dad.”

“How is she?”

“Good. She’s doing well.”

“How did she pass the night?” he asked, settling into the chair next to the bed.

Callie looked at her father’s worried face and smiled as reassuringly as possible. “Fine. She was fine.”

There was no reason to tell him that she had been scared a few times.

“Good.”

“Santos?” Maria croaked, opening an eye.

“Maria, you’re awake.” He sighed, taking hold of her hand.

She licked her cracked lips. And then, looking at his face, her eyes went wide and she croaked, “You haven’t shaved.”

Callie had realized that her father looked tired but she hadn’t pinpointed what exactly made him look so different. Once Maria said it, it was all Callie could see. Santos Torres not shaving was an unheard of occurrence. Even in his mother’s funeral he had shaved first thing in the morning. This was definitely a sign of how much he was actually affected by Maria’s accident.

“Oh.” He gasped, as though he was noticing it for the first time.

“I’m fine.” Maria said gently.

Callie was the one to break the long silence that followed after.

“You will be.”

* * * * * *

The first time Erica came to check on Maria collided with the only break Callie had allowed herself all day. When Callie came back at 4.00 in the afternoon, fifteen minutes after she had left, her father told her that she had just missed Dr. Hahn. She felt a sting of disappointment at the timing, having looked forward to seeing her the whole day.

As time passed and her worry lessened, she felt worse and worse about how she’d handled the situation. It hadn’t been professional to say the least. Erica’s look of anger kept on flashing in her mind, leaving an unrest-ful feeling in the pit of her stomach. And she strongly suspected that rest would not be coming her way until she was able to clear the air with her.

The next morning, as she was dozing off on the couch by Maria’s bed, such a chance presented itself when Erica walked into the room.

“Good morning.”

Callie automatically straightened in her seat and was just about to get up to greet her when her father beat her to it.

“Morning, Doctor.” He said, standing up from his now usual seat by the bedside.

“How’s everything?” Erica asked, addressing Maria who’d just opened her eyes.

“Fine.” She said sleepily.

“How did you sleep? Okay?” she asked picking up her chart and flipping through the pages.

“Yes, okay.”

“Good.”

“I have some pain in my stomach.”

“Aha” Erica said hanging the folder back by the foot of the bed. She walked up to Maria, “Can you show me where it hurts?”

Maria pointed towards her lower belly. When Erica pressed two fingers around the area, she gasped in pain. She moved her fingers and pressed again. “Here as well?”

“Yeah, it comes and goes. But-ooh, right there.”

“Right.” Erica nodded. “Let me just check your incision.”

She rolled back the blanket, and very softly lifted the bandage. “Great, very good.” She said re-closing the pads. She covered her with her blanket once again.

“What’s causing the pain in your lower abdominal region is…” at Maria’s worried look, she smiled and started again. “Basically, you have gas.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, it’s common after surgeries. I’m going to prescribe something for it, it should pass relatively quickly, don’t worry.”

“Oh, good.”

“Other than that, any complaints?”

“No. That’s it. You’re all taking very good care of me and my Callie is not leaving my side.”

Erica followed Maria’s gaze and came eye to eye with Callie for the first time since she had entered the room, nodding quickly, she averted her eyes and looking back down at Maria, gave a strained smile. “That’s good.”

“Shouldn’t she go back to work though? I’m sure there are other patients that need her as well. She won’t listen to me; maybe you could tell her that I’m fine.”

Callie got up to stand by the foot of the bed, and squeezed the toes of Maria’s socked foot that were peaking out of the covers.

“Ria, I know you’re fine. Haven’t I been saying that? I just want to be here. How often do I get a chance to see you?”

“Yes, well, if Dr. Hahn thinks it’s all right.”

“Of course.” Erica tipped her head,”You don’t have to worry Ms. Sanchez; they’ll page Dr. Torres if there’s an emergency.”

“See? I told you.”

After a moment of silence Erica cleared her throat.

“All right, you’re doing very nicely, everything looks as it should. Just try to rest and your body will do the healing for you. Sleeping is not a bad idea.”

“Well that’s good, cause that’s all I seem to be doing.”

“Excellent.”

“Thank you.” Maria croaked from the bed.

“Thank you, Doctor.” Callie’s father moved up to shake her hand.

“She’s doing great, don’t worry.” She said, reassuringly.

“When do you think we can go home?”

Erica smiled at his impatience, understandingly.

“Let’s just see how she is in a few days, shall we?”

He nodded. “Of course.”

Erica turned back towards Maria.

“I’ll see you later.” She said and walked out.

Callie followed her out and called after her.

“Doctor Hahn?”

Erica halted her steps and slowly turned towards her.

“Yes?”

“Thanks, I mean, I wanted to thank you for taking care of her.”

Erica nodded. They hadn’t spoken since before the surgery.

“Just doing my job.” She said in a clipped voice.

“I know that, I know, but thanks anyway. I…she’s family and you did what you did and you saved her. So, thank you.”

She really meant it, if nothing else, that had to be obvious.

After a moment Erica replied with a single nod of her head.

“You’re welcome.”

Erica turned to walk away when Callie’s voice stopped her once again.

“Dr. Hahn?”

“What is it Dr. Torres?” She asked, still sounding hard and cold.

“About before…”

“What about it?”

“I-I’m sorry.”

Erica wasn’t expecting that. The sudden change in her guarded face left no doubt in Callie’s mind; she was expecting a fight, not an apology.

“You want to talk about this now?” She asked incredulously after a moment.

“I do.” Callie nodded, hesitantly.

Erica took a deep breath and looked away.

“I know that I was wrong.” Callie interjected quickly before Erica got a chance to get lost in why she was so angry with her.

Erica met her eyes and blinked once.

“You can’t intervene in a surgery, the way you did, no matter who it is.”

“I know.”

“You endangered her, the way you acted, you’re a doctor and you should know this.”

Callie nodded, bowing her head, guilt filling her once again. She was right, of course she was right. If Erica had not stopped her, she could have seriously hurt Maria, despite all her good intentions; she had been in no condition to operate.

“You can’t try to stop me from doing what I know to be right. I’m the chief of surgery,”

“I know-”

“I have earned that title. And just because you don’t like me or because you don’t want me around does not change the fact that I’m your boss.”

“That’s not true.”

“What?”

“That I don’t want you around.”

“No?”

“No.”

Erica shook her head, and blew out a long frustrated breath.

“The way you spoke-”

“I’m sorry.”

Another long silence passed, while Erica contemplated how to respond. Then having made up her mind, she sighed and softly-clearly delivered her verdict.

“This will be the only time I allow something like this Callie, because of the extraordinary circumstances. Because it was your family and you were so worried that you weren’t yourself.”

“Right.” Callie agreed, nodding.

“The only time.” Erica repeated almost to herself.

Callie swallowed once and weakly said, “It won’t happen again.”

“Alright.” Erica nodded sadly, and motioned Callie towards the room. “Go ahead.”

Callie smiled tightly, turned around and walked into the room.

The air was cleared, though she didn’t know if she felt better or worse.

* * * * * * * *

After All This Time... (9/?)

2009-02-08T23:27:02Z

After All This Time... (8/?)

2009-02-08T23:21:43Z

After All This Time... (7/?)

2009-01-22T21:39:34Z

Title: After All This Time...
Author: Bella Taggart
Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy
Summary: 3 Years have passed since the day Erica Hahn walked out of Callie Torres's life. When professional life brings them back together, they must figure out how and if they fit into each other’s lives, after all this time…
What to expect: Angst, passion and most of all, love.
Pairing: Callie/Erica eventually...
Rating: NC-17 just to be safe
Spoiler: Through s5e7 (Rise Up)
Archiving: Only with the permission of the author
Note: Thank you so much to callicafan4eva for the great beta work.
Feedback: Please :) You can reach me at bellataggart@gmail.com
Disclaimer: All characters, events, settings and situations mentioned in this work are sole property of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, in constitutes fair use. References to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context and are not intended to be defamatory or factual in anyway.

After All This Time
By Bella Taggart

Part 7/?

“What do we have?” Christina asked, walking outside to join Callie in the cold, as she waited for the ambulance to arrive.

“Twenty-six year old female with multiple stab wounds to the chest, should be here any minute.” Callie replied, shifting from foot to foot in an effort to keep warm.

“Ooh fun.”

Callie chuckled, “You’re bad.”

“Like you weren’t thinking the same thing.”

It was a cold day, even for November and it didn’t seem to be warming up despite the time approaching two o’clock in the afternoon. The warmest hour of the day my ass, she thought as she breathed warm air into her palms.

“Owen is going to Geneva tonight, you wanna come over?” Christina asked, turning her back to Callie, so that she could tie the yellow plastic overall onto her.

“Geneva?”

“The Pan-American trauma congress.”

“Oh, right…weren’t you supposed to go with him to that?”

“Changed my mind.”

“You changed your mind?” Callie asked incredulously, shivering as she literally felt the cold seep into her bones.

“That’s right.”

“Why on earth would you change your mind? It’s Switzerland, land of chocolate and skiing and…banks.”

“Banks, Cal, really?”

“You know what I mean, I thought you guys were planning a romantic getaway afterwards, weren’t you the one asking me about hotels in St. Moritz?

Christina shrugged, looking around, as she tucked her hands in her armpits. “What’s taking so long? I thought they were supposed to be here any minute.”

Callie moved closer to her friend. “Did you have a fight?”

“No.”

“Oh my god, you did. Have I been so out of it that I missed a major fight? What happened, is it the army thing? No-is it because you work too much? ”

“We didn’t have a fight.”

“Did he cheat on you?” She suddenly covered her mouth with her palm, “Oh my God, did you cheat on him?”

“What? NOo! We didn’t have a fight you crazy woman! There’s a surgery, just a surgery I don’t want to miss.” She said, shaking her head, rolling her eyes. “Did I cheat on him-Oy vey.”

“What surgery?”

“A coronary artery bypass graft on a twelve month old baby.”

“Twelve months?”

“Are you gonna repeat everything I say in a question?”

“I will if I want to and that’s never been done before, has it?”

“Nope, and when am I gonna get a chance to see something like that, it’s too big, and he understands I can’t miss it”

Callie understood it too. There was no way Christina would be missing such a major surgery. Hell, she wouldn’t even have missed something half as important.

“Well, why didn’t you just say so?”

“I don’t know, I just…” she trailed off, looking unsure, like she wanted to say something but couldn’t.

There could only be one reason for that Callie realized after a moment of contemplation.

“It’s Hahn’s surgery.” Callie stated, as though answering a question in her own mind.

Christina nodded guiltily. “It is.”

Callie felt her stomach tense at the face of her friend’s reluctance. She didn’t want to be that person people skirted around an issue for.

“Christina, you can talk about her, I don’t mind.”

“I know, it’s just…you’ve been so silent the whole week, you haven’t even mentioned her name and I didn’t want to rub it in your face…”

“I haven’t talked about her cause there is nothing to talk about.” Callie rushed in reflex, than looked down when she realized that her words sounded more defensive than she intended.

“And?”

“And…nothing.”

Christina gave her a doubtful look.

“And…and…just saying her name pisses me off. It does.”

She was furious with Erica, she couldn’t help it. Erica, true to her word, had not spoken to her about anything other than work since their confrontation. In fact they had barely spoken at all. And when they did, the few spattered words could barely pass for conversation. Brief directives, concise confirmations all delivered with out most respect and politeness, were more like it.

After just a week, Callie was already sick of being so damn polite and respectful all the damn time. She couldn’t help it, the more Erica followed Callie’s instructions and acted like they were nothing but distant and yet amiable colleagues, the more Callie wanted to rip her own arm and strangle Erica with it. In fact, she often found herself silently willing Erica to say something out of place, something inappropriate, anything that would allow Callie to wipe off that polite smile she wore every time their eyes met.

But she wouldn’t, and time was passing, a fact that only heightened her aggression instead of lessening it, as it promised. Still she believed that given enough time her aggression would wear itself off, and she’d be free of this general feeling of un-satisfaction. She had to be.

“It’s a subject best left unspoken.” She finished, rubbing her palms against each other.

“Aha.”

“It’ll pass on its own.”

She didn’t know who she was trying to convince, Christina or herself.

Christina looked at her sideways, and took a deep breath.

“If I was into psych, I’d tell you that it’s not healthy to keep it all in, and that you’re bound to explode at some point, you know that right?”

Callie nodded, “I guess it’s a good thing you’re not into psych then.”

“Right.”

“Anyway, this is my issue and I’ll deal with it; you don’t have to worry about it and you definitely don’t have to censure yourself for my benefit…I don’t expect you to stay away from her just because I do. She is…a great surgeon and if she’s doing that surgery, you should definitely be there, hell, I wanna be there.”

“I think that she might even let me participate.” Christina said after a moment, her voice filled with awe.

“Yeah?”

“I think so, I spoke to her, asked her if I could be in the OR and she said, get this, she said that she was gonna ask me the same thing.”

Callie snorted at that, her eyebrows lifting in surprise.

“I know and that’s not all. I was like, ‘Me?’ and she was like, ‘Only two percent of heart surgeons specialize in pediatric cardiology Dr. Yang, and I hear that you want to be one of them. Or was I misinformed?’ Can you believe that?”

“Wow…well, she always was one to do her homework.”

“She seems different, Cal. More… approachable.”

“Maybe it’s you who’s different.” Callie said, linking her arm with Christina’s, trying to borrow her body heat.

“You think?”

“Also, it probably helps that you’re not trying to climb up her ass anymore.”

“Yeah, probably.”

They started chuckling then, and afterwards laughing out loud as they recognized the absurdity of the situation.

Callie was having mixed emotions about the whole thing but Christina looked so excited, she couldn’t let herself bring her down just because her stomach burned every time she thought about her ex.

Having Erica back was good for this hospital, that much was clear, she just wasn’t sure if it was good for her.

“Cal, if she can pull it off, it’ll be amazing. I mean, we’ll be the talk of the country. Forget our ranking, our prestige will be-“

Her words were interrupted by the loud shrill of the approaching sirens, and within seconds they were standing in front of a parked, red and white ambulance.

“Here we go.” Callie mumbled, as they lunged forward towards the opening doors of the vehicle.

* * * * * * * * *

Callie was sitting in the locker room, pulling on her boots, a task that was taking her minutes instead of seconds.

It had been a long day. As though accompanying her bad mood, each passing hour had brought with it all kinds of impossible cases. She had saved two, lost one and the other, she wasn’t sure about. If he made it till the morning, she’d take it.

The heart stab wound, had been the most wearing one of the day for sure. Erica had scrubbed in alongside her, taking the lead. She had cracked open the woman’s chest, localized the bleeding, cleaned and sutured the ruptured muscle.

One minute there were arms everywhere rushing back and forth, passing clamps and pads and forceps, frantically trying to keep her going, and the next there was the shrill steady squeal of the monitor as she flat lined.

After all else failed, and they exhausted their chances with pushing various cc’s of various medications into her iv line, all that was left was for Erica to massage the heart manually in an effort to pump it back to life.

And all Callie could do, along with every one else in the room, was to watch her in frozen silence.

There she was, elbow deep in a woman’s chest, holding her heart in her hands, squeezing and releasing-squeezing and releasing the ripped muscle with her palms.

Callie could not pull her eyes away, even after minutes passed and others started looking away in resignation.

Finally, she watched Erica’s shoulders sag and her hands slow down. But instead of acceptance all she could feel was a monstrous surge of rage in herself, an uncontrollable urgency that rushed her forward. Then, before she could think twice about it, she was pushing Erica out of the way and replacing her hands with her own.

“Dr. Torres-” Erica started, sounding surprised as she pulled back.

“No-”

“There is nothing you can do.”

“No!” she repeated, forcefully. Looking down at the woman’s body, she rhythmically compressed and ordered under her breath, “Come on-come on…”

“It’s been 6 minutes.” Erica said in explanation. Like that should mean something. It didn’t mean anything. People came back all the time. And this woman, this young innocent woman was going to come back. She had a whole future ahead of her.

“No.”

“We’ve done all that we can.”

“Come on-come on…”

“You’re wasting your time.”

“I’m bringing her back!”

“Dr. Torres-”

“You can give up Erica, I’m not going to!” She shouted over her shoulder, meeting her eyes, daring her to say something back.

She didn’t.

Nobody said anything after that.

There was silence as she worked, as hard as she had ever worked, willing the heart to start pumping on its own, praying for a flutter, a beat, anything.

But nothing came.

After some unaccountable time, after her own breathing was rushing in and out of her body and sweat was clouding her vision, she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up. It was Christina.

“Cal… it’s been 22 minutes.”

Had it really been that long? It couldn’t be. She looked around the room and they were the only ones left. Her, still pumping the woman’s heart, Christina by her side and Erica, by the door, watching her silently and intently.

She felt tired all of a sudden, bone tired. The adrenalin that had kept her going had pushed out of her system in one quick punch and left exhaustion on its wake.

Her arms ached, as she slowed them down to a stop and finally pulled them back.

“Call it Doctor.” Erica said quietly.

Callie looked up blankly, met her eyes for a long moment, and then she took a step away from the body. It wasn’t a woman anymore, it was just a body.

Rubbing the sweat out of her eyes with her upper arm, she looked up at the wall behind Erica, swallowed and opened her mouth, “Time of death 14:53.”

That had been hours ago. Now she was sitting on the bench in front of her locker, trying to get the hollow feeling out of her system with the awarding thought that at least the day had come to an end.

She jumped, as a pair of arms encircled her waist and a torso pressed into her back.

“Miss me lover?” a sultry voice whispered into her ear.

She spun around to look into a pair of blue-green eyes.

“Sade! You’re back!” she shrieked, throwing her arms around Sadie.

“I’m baaack.” Sadie hugged her back, pecking her on the lips.

When she pulled back Callie gave her a great big smile and reaching forward ruffled her hair. “What did you do to your hair?”

“Cut it, dyed it, you like it?”

“Very Wynona.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Sadie said, patting down her hair.

Callie snorted, “Yes, yes. When did you get in?”

“This morning, looked for you but you were in surgery.”

“Yeah, back to backs today.” She whispered, flashing back to the OR for a fleeting second, and then smiling extra-widely to cover it up.

Sadie arched her eyebrows all the same. “You look knackered.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Seriously, who died?”

She swallowed and shook her head, “Long day…How was your flight?”

“Are you diverting?”

“Yes.”

“Alright; then long and boring.”

She bumped their shoulders together, “How was England? Tell me.”

“Wet and boring” Sadie quipped. Callie tipped her head in amusement, raising an eyebrow. “No seriously, all I remember at the moment are a few snogs, a few surgeries, one where I got to kind of fly solo, and a lot of rain. It was good experience but I’m glad to be back.”

“Me too. One whole month is too long girl. You’ll have to tell me all about it in detail later.”

“I will.” Sadie assured, getting up to open her locker, and started changing her clothes. “Anything interesting happen while I was gone?”

“You don’t wanna know.”

“I hear we have a new commander in chief.”

“That, we do.” Callie mumbled, looking down.

“This, Erica Hahn, is not the bird you were dating before me, is it?” Sadie asked, halting her hands and looking at Callie.

Right after Erica had left three years ago, Sadie had entered the picture. Callie had been moping around, feeling sorry for herself, not noticing anything around her other than work, when suddenly she noticed Sadie. In retrospect, it was impossible not to with her gorgeous figure and irresistible accent and her shameless flirting. She remembered well how each time Sadie touched a lock of her hair or smiled a little widely how she used to turn into a blubbering idiot. Loosing the ability to complete full sentences as the blood in her brain relocated to more southern regions every time Sadie came close to touching distance.

Looking back now, Callie was pretty sure that, even if they hadn’t gotten stuck on the roof and almost turned into popsicles, even if they hadn’t clung to each other in an effort to keep warm, Sadie would have made the first move some other way. “I can warm you up,” she had said, opening her arms to welcome Callie into them. “And I mean that for more than just now.” Callie had swallowed audibly, feeling like a fish out of water and after a moment walked into her arms.

What had started that night as a few, no strings attached, rolls in the hay had quickly transformed into something else. They made better friends than lovers, both decided not long after, and although their physical relationship had quickly come to an end their flirting had not.

Callie loved that their friendship was fun-easy-uncomplicated. They had a great time together all the while knowing that they cared a great deal about each other. She really couldn’t ask for anything more.

She looked back at her sheepishly, not answering.

“Oh God, it is…your first, your deflowerer, the one that led you out through the gateway of the straight and narrow and into the magical land of lady lovin’…”

“That’s the one.” She said chuckling at the adjectives Sadie was throwing her way.

“What is she doing here?”

Callie shrugged. “Damned if I know.”

After a moment Sadie humfhed and continued dressing.

“She probably wants to get back in your knickers.” She said in a sing song voice.

“Oh please.”

“You wanna bet?”

“You think everybody wants to get in my ‘knickers’”

“That’s because they do.”

Callie smiled, feeling a sudden sense of hope at the possibility. A rush of energy flew through her system. Then she realized her involuntary reaction and felt even worse than before. What was she doing, hoping? Hoping for what? Her body was betraying her. There was nothing to hope for.

“You all right?” Sadie asked, with a note of worry in her voice.

Callie knew that beneath Sadie’s tough girl routine was a sensitive, good person. She had seen that right from the beginning. She didn’t want to upset her, but she couldn’t bring herself to lie either. So she simply looked up at her with a sad smile on her face.

Sadie sat down next to her, and threw an arm around her shoulder.
“Fancy a shag to make you feel better?”

Sadie asked it so seriously, and as such a matter of fact that Callie couldn’t stop the laughter that suddenly burst out of her, “Ha-ha, no thanks.”

Laughter was good; it lightened her heart and made her feel a little bit more like her normal self. Looking at the smiling face of Sadie, Callie realized, she needed that now more than ever.

“Hey, can’t blame a girl for trying.”

“I missed you.”

After All This Time... (6/?)

2009-01-15T22:40:02Z

Title: After All This Time...
Author: Bella Taggart
Note: Thank you so much to callicafan4eva for the great beta work.
Feedback: Please :) You can reach me at bellataggart@gmail.com
Disclaimer: See first post for it.

After All This Time

By Bella Taggart

Part 6/?

Callie took the steps two at a time, holding her bag up over her head in an effort to keep dry, and came to a stop in the entrance of Mark’s apartment building. She rang the bell, balanced her bag in her arms and took out the wine bottle she had stashed in there.

“Who is it?”

Mark’s scratchy voice came over the intercom.

“Who do you think it is? Let me in, I’m cold.”

When after a moment the door didn’t open, and Callie could still hear static coming from the intercom, she realized that Mark was making her wait on purpose and listening on the other end.

“Funny Sloan.” She grumbled, and rolling her eyes added in a softer tone, “Let me in, please.”

“Better.”

And the door clicked open.

She readied herself and started walking up the stairs. By the time she got to the fourth floor, she was anything but cold, and she was complaining to herself.

Mark was waiting for her by the open door.

“You have got to move. Seriously, who doesn’t have an elevator any more? I don’t know how you manage it.” She walked up to him, trying to catch her breath and kissed his cheek.

“So you keep telling me.” Mark said dryly, holding the door open and letting Callie pass. He took the wine she was holding out and thanked her softly, following her into the living room.

“Babe, Callie is here!” He shouted towards the kitchen.

“You don’t have to scream, I’m right here” Lexie said softly, having suddenly appeared in the corridor.

“Oh sorry, Callie is here” he said, much softer this time. She walked across the room towards Callie, “I see that.” She said, brushing her fingers down Mark’s back as she passed him and came to stop in front of Callie, “Hey pretty lady, I’m glad you could make it.” She took Callie’s jacket and gave both her cheeks a kiss.

“Me too. Thanks for the invite.”

“Like you need an invite.” Lexie chastised.

Spotting the bottle in Mark’s hand, she shook her head. “Callie, you really didn’t have to.”

“I know, I know, I wanted to.”

“Okay, thank you, now sit, relax. I’m just gonna finish up in the kitchen and the food will be ready in about five minutes.” She said walking back towards the kitchen.

“Do you need any help?” Callie asked in politeness.

“Nah, it’s all done...Mark, sweety, have you asked Callie what she wanted to drink?”

“I was just about to.” He replied, pecking her on the lips as she walked by him. “So what’s it gonna be Cal? Should I just pop this open or do you want something stronger?”

“Wine’s fine.” She said flopping down on the leather couch.

Dinner went smoothly, as smoothly as it could have under the circumstances.

Her mood, obviously feeling like having a whole-day workout; climbing high one minute and then dropping low the next, jumping through hoops and at times even hanging on single handedly, had left her exhausted by the evening. And regardless of her wish to pretend like all was right in her world, her short, clipped answers in the face of her friends’ attempts at conversation gave her away.

As it happened, opening the second bottle was a cure for that. Pretty soon she couldn’t stop talking, her tongue loosening at last, slurred every which way. And despite all her efforts to the contrary, conversation kept on coming back to Erica. By her hand, at that.

“And since when can she teach? Just because she is a top-notch surgeon doesn’t mean she can teach. This is a teaching hospital for Christ’s sake. Do we all not remember how she used to treat Christina?” she whined, taking a large sip of her wine.

“Yang did suffer a bit in her hands. That is true.” Sloan conceded, sounding fuzzy himself.

“A bit? More like a lot. She used to beg me just to get her some OR time with her.”

They were sitting by, or rather half lying on, the dinner table, having cleared it of the dishes hours before. Callie and Sloan were already drunk as a skunk; Lexie was at least trying to maintain a level of sobriety.

“And I suffered in Yang’s hands, that just makes you want to be better.”

“You say that now Lex, but who was the dumb ass operating on her friends so that she could learn?”

“That was my wife, my one and only” Sloan mumbled, pulling Lexie into his arms. “Baby, you were so young and innocent, remember?”

Lexie shook her head in amusement, letting him kiss her neck. “I remember and fine, you have a point there but…”

“No buts,” Callie interrupted, “She is the devil. She is very dangerous Lexie, you must be careful. She will get under your skin,” She was swaying on the table, moving her hands demonstratively.

“She’ll say she doesn’t like people and you’ll say you don’t like people either and you’ll bond over your dislike for people together and even though you really don’t like people, you’ll like her and before you know it you’ll think she’s awesome and cool and funny and smart, so damn smart and even though you might not realize it at first, pretty soon you’ll think that she’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen and— ”

“Was there a point, Cal?” Sloan asked dryly.

“Right, sorry…where was I?” she asked, pouring herself another glass.

“She was beautiful.” Lexie reminded.

“She was, wasn’t she?” Callie asked dreamily, resting her chin on the bottle.

“No, you were saying that she would be the most beautiful thing-“

“Right, right. Yes, and um, you’ll think that everything is great, but than right when you’re not expecting it, she’ll strike. And she’ll hurt you and, and umm she’s the devil, I’m telling you. Lucifer incarnate. In fact I’m gonna call her Lucy from now on, short for Lucifer.”

“I think I’m gonna cut you off.” Lexie said, taking the bottle away from Callie.

“No seriously, it fits perfectly; we should all call her Lucy. Chief Lucy. Lucyhief.”

Sloan was chuckling, “I’m game.”

“Nice.” Lexie added, taking a sip of her wine, rolling her eyes.

“And why is she coming back to Seattle? Wasn’t she some rock star in New York?” Sloan asked.

“Mark!” Lexie groaned disapprovingly.

“Exactly, that’s what I said, Seattle is mine.”

“I admit I don’t know her like you guys do but she might not be that bad you guys. I spoke to her today and she was actually kind of nice.”

“Lexie!” Callie exclaimed, exasperated.

“Bitch. She’s a bitch, sorry.”

“Thank you.”

* * * * * * * * *

“You wanted to see me?” Callie poked her head in through the crack of Erica’s office door.

After 2 days of playing hide and seek within the hospital halls, Callie was no longer allowed to delay her inevitable face off with Erica, when as the chief of surgery, she called her in to a meeting. She had been holding private meetings with most of the surgeons one at a time, and it seemed, despite all her wishing to the contrary, her time had come.

“Come on in Callie.”

She was sitting behind Richard’s old desk, looking like she already owned her environment. Callie felt a pang of anger flair at that as she walked further into the room.

Erica was already making major changes in the hospital, starting by bringing in 3 of her various colleagues from across the nation with her, and even though no one could argue that they were great technical additions to the hospital, people were starting to get worried about loosing their jobs. After all, everyone agreed that cuts would have to be made in order to afford those new additions.

“Please sit down.”

She sat down as she was told and waited.

“Thanks for coming.”

Erica looked at Callie expecting her to say something in return, when she didn’t she cleared her throat and looking down at her table, continued.

“Um…I wanted to talk to you, as you know I’ve been meeting with all the attendings, and some changes are going to be happening in the near future that’s going to have a real impact on the way we do things around-”

“Are you going to fire me?”

Erica’s head shot up, her eyes going wide as they met Callie.

“What? No!…Why would you ask that?”

Callie crossed her arms in front of her,” Well, you’ve brought in Dr. Bradley, Phillips and Connor. Obviously, people see that budget cuts are inevitable and I’m one of those people.”

“I see.”

Callie nodded, her face straight and cold.

“This, despite the fact that no one has been fired yet.” Erica said slowly.

“Yet.” She repeated, as though Erica was making her point for her.

Erica looked at her for a long moment, studying her, “And you thought, that I would fire you?

Callie could tell that she was offended. Though why, she couldn’t understand. What was she supposed to think or expect from Erica. Erica who wouldn’t have even told her she was back, had she not bumped into her accidentally.

“Why not? They are right, aren’t they? There will have to be budget cuts?”

Erica straightened in her chair as her jaw went rigid for a moment and than settled back to its relaxed state.

After a moment, she nodded. “Yes there have been additions to the staff, and yes there will be budget cuts… Not that it’s anyone’s business but at the moment those cuts are being made in spending, mostly in advertising… I would rather have more good doctors and fewer commercials than the other way around.”

She leaned back on her seat, looking at Callie, her annoyance clearly visible in her narrowed eyes. Then she took a deep breath and the traces of the feeling vanished once again from her face. “For your information, if I do decide to fire someone, their incompetence will be the deciding factor not the hospital’s budgetary needs.”

When Callie remained silent, she grunted, shaking her head, “I guess it was silly of me to think that people would have a little more faith...”

“Oh, don’t even”

“What?”

“You don’t seriously expect me to-“

“What? Expect you to what?”

“Nothing. Forget it.”

“Tell me what you were going to say Callie.” She insisted.

But Callie wouldn’t. She swallowed, locking her chin in place. Looking at Erica as neutrally as she could manage, she waited. They weren’t going to argue, or debate. Hell, they weren’t even supposed to be speaking, she reminded herself.

Erica knitted her eyebrows, looked down and then back up again.

“Listen Callie, I think we need to talk… I know that my coming here, this way, was a surprise-“

“Is that what that was?” she shot back, before she was able to stop herself.

“I…I know that it might be difficult… or at the very least umm awkward to have me here…”

Callie’s stomach churned as she listened. Erica was clearly getting ready to give her a list of excuses. She didn’t want to hear it. Any of it.

“I am sorry that you-“

Callie held up a hand and stopped her, standing up and scrunching up her face.

Erica looked up at her questioningly, confusedly.

“Erica, you’re probably right, we probably should talk.”

Erica nodded, but Callie held up a finger, indicating that she wasn’t finished. “But I don’t want to, and I am not going to.”

“Callie-“

“No-I think, we can have a respectable, professional working relationship but it’s obvious that we are not really good at the personal stuff.” She shook her head in irritation. “So from now on if you could be Dr. Hahn and I could be Dr. Torres, we could get along much better. I think so, don’t you think? I do.”

Erica was the one to remain silent this time. Looking at her, her lips drawn into a thin line.

Callie walked backwards towards the door as she continued speaking. “So, if there is something you want to tell me about work, tell me, if not, let’s not do this. Let’s just…just let me go back to work. Okay?”

Some color had drained off Erica’s face. It had to be the held back anger, but there was nothing Callie could do about that. She had told her what she needed to tell her and how Erica dealt with that was not her problem.

Erica cleared her throat, blinked once and very calmly said, “All right, go back to work, Dr. Torres.”

* * * * * * * *

After All This Time... (5/?)

2009-01-10T21:06:30Z

Title: After All This Time...

Author: Bella Taggart

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

What to expect: Angst, passion and most of all, love.

Pairing: Callie/Erica eventually...

Rating: NC-17 just to be safe

Spoiler: Through s5e7 (Rise Up)

Archiving: Only with the permission of the author

Note: Thank you so much to callicafan4eva for the great beta work.

Feedback: Please :) You can reach me at bellataggart@gmail.com

After All This Time

By Bella Taggart

Part 5/?

Erica took the stand and shook Richard’s hand.

“Thank you Richard.”

After he moved away, leaving her alone in the center of everyone’s attention, she turned towards the crowd, took a deep breath and standing still, slowly looked around. There was absolute silence in the room, the gatherers waiting expectantly to hear what the new chief of surgery had to say. This was after all the first time most of them were meeting Erica Hahn, and this initial meet would be where they formed their first opinions of her. As though she knew this, she stood still, almost allowing people to fully take her in, as she took them in, in return.

She was wearing a burgundy shirt under her white doctors’ coat. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail. Single diamond studs adorned each ear. Her subtle makeup brought color to her cheeks and accentuated her strong eyes, without being overwhelming by any stretch of the word. She looked classy; she looked sharp.

She looked around making eye contact with curious eyes, and after what seemed like an entirely too long moment of silence Erica started speaking.

“I’ll make this short. When I left here 3 years ago, Seattle Grace ranked as the 12^th teaching hospital in the nation. Today, I see that many things have changed in my absence,” she said. Callie felt her breath hitch as Erica’s eyes came to rest on hers. After a moment she continued, “You have moved forward in your quest to better yourselves and as a result have bettered the lives of others. I know that you have worked very hard, and it has paid off.”

She spoke briskly, clearly and confidently. Her words were to the point as expected. She wasn’t going to waste anyone’s time today, especially not hers.

“Today, Seattle Grace has a respectable ranking of being the 5^th best teaching hospital in the nation. You have been re-instated to a number 1 trauma center which means that you are able to treat thousands of more lives now than you would have been able to 3 years ago.

Richard is right, you have achieved greatness.” She looked back at Richard and smiled at him in salute.

“Even though we might have had our differences in the past, we have always shared a common goal: our commitment to making Seattle Grace the best teaching hospital in the nation, and our commitment to providing the best possible patient care. This will never change and I promise you that everything I do from this day forward will be to serve that purpose.

I thank you Richard for all that you have given this hospital. Through your guidance this hospital has, as they say, swam and swam and come to the last lap.”

She paused once again allowing the crowd to applaud in appreciation of the retiring chief. Richard tipped his head in acknowledgement, looking proud. When they stopped, she turned once again towards the crowd.

“But there is more to do. There is always more to do.

Medicine is a profession that requires. You are required to use your knowledge, I will ask you to build on it. You are required to search; I will ask you to find. You are required to be strong; I will ask you to be stern.

You are required to work hard; I will ask you to work harder. You are required to be your best, know this; I will ask you for more.

If you cannot deliver, you do not belong here.

But I believe that you can. And that you will. That is why I came back.

We will be all that, and more and I promise you, together we will swim this last lap and claim our rightful place on the top of that list, but more importantly, we will change the face of medicine. Thank you.”

The crowd started clapping, hesitantly at first, no one missing the not so subtle warning in her words, than more freely, joyously as the rest of her words registered. She was going to lead them to victory. Soon the combined sound of clapping snowballed into one of a fiercely turning propeller’s.

Richard got up and shook Erica’s hand once again, Derek was also there, nodding along and congratulating her. The energy vibrating in the room could be felt all the way in the back where Callie stood. People applauded and they didn’t seem to be slowing down any time soon. Finally, Erica held up a hand and silenced the crowd once again.

“We are in the business of making miracles happen, miracles take work. So let’s get to it, shall we?”

It was pretty cliché, but it served its purpose and people started moving with a glow across their faces.

* * * * * * *

“What the fuck just happened?” Callie gasped, as the crowd started breaking up.

“I tried to tell you.” Christina said shaking her head in worry. “Are you okay?”

“I need to sit down.”

“Come on, let’s get some air.” She led her by the arm towards the exit. They passed through the revolving doors and came to a stop in front of Erica’s bench.

Great, Callie was already back to referring to places according to their association with Erica. It had taken her over a year to stop doing that. A year until Erica’s locker was no longer her locker, until the table they always had lunch together was no longer her table. A year until this damn bench where she had first kissed Erica was no longer Erica’s bench.

She was back for less than 30 minutes and already she was reclaiming her spots in Callie’s mind. This was not good. Callie shook her head in frustration.

“Sit down” Christina ordered.

Callie flopped down next to her, her mouth open, her eyes still wide in disbelief.

“Are you okay?”

“Who fucking does that?” she mumbled, still shaking her head. “I saw her a few days ago, but she never said…”

“You did?”

“That’s what I was telling you. She told me she was here for work but not this, nothing like this.”

“That’s why you left for New York.”

Christina’s words were more a statement than a question. Callie nodded all the same. Turning to look at Christina directly in the eyes, she asked, “I mean, what the fuck is she doing here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Of all the places in the country…fuck, fuck, fuck” Callie repeated as a mantra under her breath, her hand tapping an out of control beat on the bench, until Christina reached over and held her wrist, stilling her. “This is why you should never switch off your phone.” She said, after a moment, trying to lighten the mood.

“Humph…now I know.”

Callie lifted the corners of her mouth into a pitiful smile, and squeezed her friend’s hand in thanks.

They sat in silence for a minute or so, Christina allowing her to regroup, until finally Callie stood up and started pacing. “Seriously though, what is she doing here?”

Christina shrugged, shaking her head “It’s crazy, you’re right.”

“When did you find out?”

“Yesterday. Bailey told Derek, Derek told Mark, and he told me. I..I called you.”

“I know, I know…Why do you think she’s back? There must have been other job offers, she could have gone anywhere.”

Christina stood up to stand next to her. “You can talk to her and find out.”

“I’m not speaking to her!” Callie cried, shaking her head vehemently. “Forget it, as far as I’m concerned we don’t ever have to talk again.”

“Well, you’re gonna have to talk at some point.”

“Yes, for work, but other than that, there is no reason we have to speak.” She started walking back towards the building, with Christina on her tail. After only a few steps she stopped and faced her friend, her brows knitted in frustration. “I did that once and see where that got me.”

She was speaking fast, her voice barely controlled in a whisper, her hands up in the air emphasizing her points.

“I was polite, friendly even and she couldn’t tell me she was gonna be my boss? She obviously didn’t think I was important enough to tell. She obviously doesn’t think we have anything left to talk about. And you know what? I agree with her. We don’t have anything to talk about. We can just go ahead and be colleagues. She can direct her little hospital; I will break my bones, and we will be fine. I’ll be fine. In fact, I’m already fine. I mean, let’s not exaggerate the situation here. This is someone I thought I cared about for about 2 minutes a long, long time ago; this is not the end of the world. So, screw her. Right? Screw her. I’m fine. I’m great.”

She finished, crossing her arms in front of her, breathing heavily through her nose. Her chin locked as she looked up and down the exterior of the hospital building.

After a moment, Christina flatly asked. “Feel better?”

Callie looked back at her friend and smiled, relaxing her muscles. She opened her mouth and took in a deep breath.

“Yes, thanks”

“Ready to go back in?”

“Sure” she nodded as they started walking back.

After the 30 feet it took them to pass the doors and enter the building, they walked across the lobby and came to stop in front of the elevators. Christina pressed the up button and they waited silently.

The lobby was back to its normal state now, with the 2 security guards back behind their desk and the few faces lingering in the gift shop. Callie and Christina were the last ones of the crowd that had gathered, the rest were already seemingly back at work.

When, after long minutes, the elevator finally beeped and opened its doors, only 2 other people joined them in the cabin. A general surgeon named Charles and a woman that worked in administration, whose name Callie couldn’t remember.

“Hey Torres,” He greeted as he and his companion walked in to stand behind her in the cabin.

“Charles.”

Callie and Christina stood in the front, both looking up at the numbers as they moved up on the panel above the doors, pretending to give the other two a false sense of privacy, as they spoke amongst themselves.

They were talking about Erica, how she was an excellent surgeon, and how he would give an arm to see her in action. Callie took a deep breath at that, rolling her eyes.

People were going to have to be on their toes from now on cause Dr. Hahn didn’t seem like the tolerant kind, the woman said, and something else under her breath, which Callie couldn’t hear, but which made him chuckle in response.

Callie realized she would have to get used to this. People would likely be talking about her ex for days to come, at the very least. She would have to get used to a lot of things she wasn’t going to like, she suspected.

After the others left and they were alone and only a few floors away from Callie’s destination, Christina tipped her head towards Callie and whispered.

“You don’t believe that”

“Hmm?”

“The two minute thing, about Erica.”

Callie let out a long breath, looked down at her feet and back up, straight ahead as the doors opened. She walked out and right before they closed back, she turned back towards her friend in the cabin and smiling sadly, whispered.

“Give me time”

* * * * * * * * * *

Beta help?

2009-01-09T15:12:05Z

İ need a beta for my Callica fic "After All This Time". Anyone interested?

DWP The Microfic Meme

2009-01-07T11:41:28Z

The Microfic Meme

Try to write different categories of fic (angst, fluff, UST, etc) in 10 words or less.

A/N: This was a fun little game :) Thanks to somniesperus for coming up with the idea.

Angst
"You broke me, Miranda."

AU

“Red wire or blue?”

“The blue one. Now, Andrea!”

Crackfic
Miranda's bull wouldn't stand still, Andrea came to help.

Crossover
"Dr.Brennan, let me introduce Miranda Priestly."

Death
"Save me a spot Miranda." Andrea weeped kissing her knuckles.

Horror

"You have beautiful eyes. Can i have one of them?"

First Time

"Touch me"

"Are you sure?"

"Please."

Fluff
Miranda was ice-cream and snow-days wrapped into one.

Humor

"There are more important things than sex."

"Not many."

Hurt/Comfort
Miranda interlaced their fingers, "i wont leave you Andrea"

Smut

"Oh God."

"One more," gasped Miranda hungrily.

UST

Not looking, not looking.

"Andrea."

Damn it.

After All This Time... (4/?)

2009-01-05T18:46:28Z

Title: After All This Time...

Author: Bella Taggart

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

What to expect: Angst, passion and most of all, love.

Pairing: Callie/Erica eventually...

Rating: NC-17 just to be safe

Spoiler: Through s5e7 (Rise Up)

Archiving: Only with the permission of the author

Note: This is unbeta’d. Sorry about that. I will edit the posting once I get it beta’d but I wanted to post it within the promised timeline.

Feedback: Please :) You can reach me at bellataggart@gmail.com

After All This Time

By Bella Taggart

Part 4/?

After two days of R & R, and pounds and pounds of Maria’s magical wet chocolate cake, she was back in town and ready to move on once again. Though if her reaction to seeing Erica for less then 3 minutes was any indication, she obviously hadn’t exactly moved on the first time around.

She wasn’t going to think about that. Tomorrow, she was going to go to work and break some bones, and she was going to be fine, even if it killed her.

But tonight she was going to go out and clear her head, the only way she knew how.

She left her house wearing a pair of jeans, a low cut white wife beater and a black leather jacket. She was probably going to get cold but at least she looked good.

There was a group of people standing around, smoking by the entrance of the bar. One of them, an attractive strawberry blonde with a petite face watched her as she came closer. On her way in, Callie brushed close by her on purpose, with a whispered “Excuse me.” dropping from her lips. The woman smiled at her in response and took a step back, giving her the way.

This was going to be too easy.

After a few drinks she spotted the same woman once again, standing across the bar, straight in her eyesight. She kept on taking turns talking with her friends, drinking, laughing, and looking at Callie.

Each time Callie looked back, she looked away, turning this into a game of catch. Callie was good at games but she was even better at breaking the rules so instead of averting her eyes, she kept on staring and caught the woman’s eyes in hers the next time she looked Callie’s way. Having been caught at her own game, the woman blushed and smiled shyly at her. That was all the motivation Callie needed.

As the song changed into a salsa, Callie downed her third shot and made her way towards the strawberry blonde. The woman straightened in her chair, watching her each step of the way.

Callie stood in front of her, took the pink drink out of her hand, placed it on the surface behind, leaned close to her ear and whispered, “Let’s dance.”

The woman nodded and stood up, trailing Callie as she took her hand and lead the way to the dance floor.

The floor was filled with sweaty bodies; Man dancing with women, men dancing with men, women dancing with women, there were all kinds of pairings moving to the beat. They made their way into the middle and joined in. As the beat picked up, the smaller woman’s face took on a doubtful expression. “I don’t know how to dance to this.” She said embarrassedly.

“What?”

The woman raised herself up on her toes, bringing herself close into Callie and spoke right into her ear. “I don’t know the steps.”

“It’ll be okay, just follow my lead.” She said, taking her into her arms.

The woman smiled up at her and relaxed a little bit in her arms. Pretty soon they were having a great time. Turning and spinning and laughing along with every step. Callie was a good dancer. It was in her blood, her father had always said so.

After a few more songs, as they became more comfortable with each other, they started getting bolder and bolder, moving all over the floor. During a more risqué move, which involved a twist and a dip, the woman lost her footing and was almost falling when Callie pulled her up into her arms, and held her tightly against her chest.

“I’ve got you.” She whispered, enjoying the proximity of their bodies. After that, even though the music continued upbeatly, they remained close, just moving slowly while their hands explored each other. Finally Callie put her hands through the woman’s back pockets and rested them there.

“Do you wanna go somewhere and talk?” She asked, licking her lips.

The woman nodded. “Can we go smoke?”

“Sure”

They stood outside by the entrance, just the two of them, as the woman pulled out a pack of cigarettes from her jacket.

“You want one?”

Callie shook her head and stood there watching the woman light up, finally getting the chance to properly study her, under the bright street light. Her strawberry blonde hair was cut short and brushed to the side, her blue eyes were framed by dark black makeup. She was wearing a beaded tank top under her jacket and black leather pants on top of giant heeled boots. As it was she was nearly a head shorter than her and Callie wondered how big of a height difference there would be between them if she were to take off those boots. She wasn’t exactly her type, Callie decided, but she was attractive and she would do for tonight.

“So,” the woman said, breathing out a grey cloud of smoke. “What do you wanna talk about?”

Callie took a step forward into the other woman’s space. “I lied” she whispered, taking the dangling cigarette out of the woman’s lips and bringing the tip to her own. She inhaled once and threw the cigarette away with one flick of her fingers. Bringing her hand up, she cupped the woman’s face and caressed her lips with her thumb. “I don’t wanna talk.” She breathed and, seeing the reflected want in the woman’s eyes, bowed her head and took her lips in her own.

She tasted of cigarettes and alcohol, a combination that always reminded Callie of uncomplicated sex. Soon the kiss grew hungry, and their hands started roaming. They were already grinding into each other, when the door opened and a few drunken patrons walked out, looking at them and chuckling amongst themselves.

“Come with me,” Callie ordered hoarsely, taking the woman’s hand and leading them to the dark ally behind the building of the bar. She pushed the woman into the wall, kissing her lips greedily and then along her neck as the woman welcomed Callie’s thigh between her parted legs. The woman instinctively started a rocking motion against Callie, moaning and gasping, as Callie cupped her breasts and started kneading them earnestly.

When Callie’s fingers came down to the button of the woman’s trousers, she halted her hand and looked deeply into the woman’s half closed eyes. “Let me.” She whispered huskily. The woman, breathless now, could only nod and gasp. “Yes.”

Then Callie was unzipping her pants and slipping her fingers into the woman’s center. Rubbing back and forth, as the woman held onto her shoulders, cried out in strangled release and buckled against her fingers only moments later.

Callie pulled out of her gently after a long moment and held her in her arms, giving her the time to recover.

“Wow” the woman gasped, catching her breath, “That was something.”

Callie simply smiled at her and, brushing the woman’s hair off her face with her fingers, gently asked, “You okay?”

“Better than Okay.” The woman replied, smirking. “Give me a minute and I’m gonna get to you.” She said taking hold of Callie’s hand.

Callie brought the woman’s hand to her lips. “I’m good, I’m great” she assured, taking a step back, not leaving any room for negotiation.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously” She confirmed, smiling. Tonight she was in control and she wanted to enjoy that more than she wanted to enjoy an orgasm. “Thanks for this. I had a great time.”

“I think I should be thanking you.” the woman replied, matching Callie’s smile.

“Come on” Callie chuckled, “I’ll walk you inside.”

The woman smirked and shook her head disbelievingly. Then she pushed up off the wall, straightened her clothes and came to stand next to her.

“Do you think your friends are still in there?” Callie asked as they started walking.

“What do you mean by still, they are just getting started.”

“Cool.”

They came to a stop in front of the bar.

“I can drop you off somewhere else if you want.” Callie offered, halting her hand on the doors handle.

“Nah, I’ll go in, thanks.” She replied, taking a step forward.

“Okay.”

Callie pulled open the door, leaned in and kissed the woman on her cheek. “I’ll see you around then.”

The woman nodded, and rested her back on the open door, as Callie started walking away.

“Hey!” The woman called behind her back.

She stopped and turned around.

“I don’t even know your name.” the woman yelled.

“Callie.” She yelled back.

“I’m Jessica.”

“Nice to meet you Jessica.”

* * * * * * * * *

The next morning, found Callie waking up and taking a long hot shower. Too long a shower, she realized looking at her watch, that made her late despite her having woken up 15 minutes early.

She stepped out of her house and in less than a minute walked into the lobby of the hospital, living across the street from work had its advantages. The view inside quickly halted her steps.

The hall was filled with hundreds of people; Doctors, nurses, health care professionals, even people from the cleaning crew were standing close together, looking up at the chief, who was standing on the stairs, making a speech of some kind.

“…some new, some old, each and every one of you have touched my life for the better…”

She hadn’t realized that the chief’s goodbye speech was going to be today. Cursing herself, she looked around, trying to spot some friends but the task seemed nearly impossible. All she could see were the indistinguishable backs of a bunch of tightly huddled heads.

“…For more than 35 years, Seattle Grace Hospital has been my home…”

She took a step to the right, and then two to the left, trying to squish her way into the crowd, without pulling too much attention onto herself.

“…the time has come that I leave this sacred place and go be with my family…”

She spotted Christina by the gift store and started moving towards her.

“we have seen greatness even in the worst of times, greatness has walked these halls…”

When she came to a stop next to her, Christina gasped in surprise, her eyes widening in what seemed like worry, and moved close to her. “Callie, where have you been?” She whispered quickly. “I tried to call you a million times.” She looked around nervously. “Left you like ten messages.”

“My phone was switched off. I told you I was going to my parents, wrote you an email before I left, didn’t you get it?” she asked quietly, covering her mouth with her hand not to be seen talking. “You are not going to believe who I saw the other day” she said under her breath, looking up at the chief who kept on speaking.

“…I thank you for all that you have given me.” He was saying, his eyes misty.

“Callie, listen to me, I have to tell you something.” Christina rushed, but Callie kept on talking. “Guess. Just guess.”

“Callie” Christina tried once again. But Callie wasn’t listening, “You’ll never guess.”

“Most of you know her through her many publications, through her invaluable contributions to her field. Some of you have met her and some have even had the chance to work with her…”

“Cal!” Christina cried a little too loudly and a few heads turned towards them in annoyance. Finally feeling self conscious, Callie took a step to the side and whispered, “Sshh, we’ll talk later”

“…she is the most principled surgeon I know and we are lucky to have her. I am sure that you will welcome her in the manner that she deserves …”

Christina took hold of her arm and tried to reclaim her attention. “Callie, listen! You need to listen to me.” She hissed but Callie wasn’t listening to her anymore, she was listening to the chief. Her brows knitted in concentration, she moved forward to hear better and spotted a patch of blonde hair partially hidden by a column.

“…I leave you in good hands. It is with great pleasure that I introduce, the recipient of countless awards, the creator of the acclaimed Hahn Method, a world-class cardiothoracic surgeon and”

Callie gasped, and as understanding started sinking in, felt the blood draining from her face. She could feel her hands grow cold as well and for a fleeting second wondered where all her blood was going. Perhaps it was leaving her body through her toes, along with her capability of speech, movement and rational thought. She just stood there, her eyes following the woman’s movements on their own accord. Trembling she felt her knees go weak as the tall, blonde, blue eyed woman took the stage next to the chief, who announced loudly;

“your next chief of surgery, Dr. Erica Hahn.”

* * * * * *

After All This Time... (3/?)

2008-12-28T21:14:13Z

Title: After All This Time...

Author: Bella Taggart

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

What to expect: Angst, passion and most of all, love.

Pairing: Callie/Erica eventually...

Rating: NC-17 just to be safe

Spoiler: Through s5e7 (Rise Up)

Archiving: Only with the permission of the author

Note: My special thanks to queenie703 for doing a great job beta reading.

Feedback: Please :) You can reach me at bellataggart@gmail.com

After All This Time

By Bella Taggart

Part 3/?

A good nights sleep had been all that she needed. Callie had woken up feeling rested and refreshed, feeling hopeful, the way she always felt on sunny mornings of autumn days.

She had washed her hair, gotten dressed, actually cooked an egg and bacon breakfast and walked to work with a skip on her steps. After two very successful surgeries and a picnic on the gardens of the hospital with Mark, Callie felt so good that she feared her day could only go downhill from there. She was standing in the travel section of the neighborhood bookstore looking for possible destinations for Christmas when she was proven right.

Callie reached up to pick up a book on Amsterdam from a high shelf above her head. When she saw that she couldn’t reach it on her toes, she found an upside down bucket used as a chair nearby, brought it over, and climbed on top. Just as her fingers grazed her book, the bucket gave way under her feet and she felt herself falling.

Trying to stop herself, she grabbed onto the closest thing she could find, which turned out to be an unstable shelf above. With the force of her touch, the shelf gave way as well, and books started raining on her head as she found herself on her ass trying to shield herself from the onslaught of volumes and volumes of destination guides. Paris hit her squarely on the shoulder and she shrieked in reflex.

When the attack of the books was over, she heard a worried voice behind her.

“Are you okay?”

The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but, too embarrassed to turn around, Callie just lifted up an arm and called out, “fine. I’m fine.”

She was angry with herself more than anything. She had literally jinxed herself with her thoughts. Rubbing her shoulder she got up and started clearing up her mess. When she didn’t hear the sound of a person moving away, she found herself turning around despite her initial resistance. Obviously, she was going to have to re-assure the woman that she was fine.

When she did turn around, and caught sight of the shell-shocked woman looking back at her, her eyes widened in shock, her breath hitched in her throat, and she gasped.

“Erica.”

* * * *

Callie took the two days off work after her run in with Erica. The encounter had disturbed her more than it should have after all this time, and after half a day of trying to convince herself that she was fine and trying to dodge the curious glances of her worried friends, she had given in and brilliantly come up with a fictional wedding she had to attend in New York.

Her father was spending his usual three months before New Years in the family penthouse in Manhattan. Spending time with him and getting pampered by Maria was going to be just what she needed to get back on her feet.

Maria had been with her family for longer than Callie could remember. Wherever her father went, she went with him, taking care of his every possible need, running the everyday managing of all the Torres households. She was irreplaceable and definitely a part of the family. More than 20 years spent together guaranteed that.

Ever since her mother’s passing, Maria had become a sort of surrogate mother to Callie and a surrogate wife to her father (in more ways than one, she suspected), but that piece of information was neither volunteered nor asked about. The only resemblance of confirmation of that notion was buried in a fuzzy memory in her head. A memory of seeing her father one Christmas morning, through the snowy window of the winter garden, embracing Maria for a moment too long and of her brushing the hair off his forehead with her fingers, a far too familiar gesture that suggested a greater intimacy than either one ever let on.

Either way, Callie loved her to pieces. And that warm and fuzzy feeling she experienced each time she saw her was going to be essential in making her feel safe again, after seeing Erica. But with great shared affection for one another came great emotion. Callie often found her hard shell of resistance against the world’s pressures cracking at one meeting of their eyes. Even in the worst of times, when on her own she could be strong as steel and not shed a tear, the moment she came face to face with Maria, she often found her lips trembling and her eyes filling up.

This time was no different. When Maria saw the unshed tears in her eyes, she gasped and pulled Callie into a fierce hug.

“Chiquita, what happened?” she asked, rubbing her back soothingly. But Callie wasn’t able to tell her. She herself didn’t know what exactly happened. She ran through the encounter in her head for probably the seventh time that day.

“Erica,” Callie gasped at first sight of the blonde surgeon.

“Callie.”

They looked at each other in shock for a long silent moment, and then, remembering themselves, both made a move towards each other in politeness. Erica went in for a kiss on the cheek, whereas Callie went in for a hug. Getting their signals crossed they almost found themselves locked in a lip lock. As it was, they ended up in an awkward hug/kiss combination (though the brief upper body contact could have hardly been called a hug and the brushing of their cheeks hadn’t involved lips at all).

They both took a step back, as though burned from the contact, and uncomfortably stood around waiting, both for the other to say something.

“Um…what-what are you doing here?” Callie asked finally, forcing herself to sound casual, and failing miserably.

“Books.”

“I meant Seattle.”

Callie stood up straighter, trying to regain some kind of decorum.

“Right. Ahhm, work.” Erica muttered, almost too quietly for Callie to hear.

“Right.” Callie repeated, nodding exaggeratedly like those alarm clocks that hung on walls with stupid woodpeckers sitting on tree barks. Then she realized what she was doing and stopped moving her neck. She gave Erica a toothless smile and looked away, eyebrows knitting in self-loathing.

Another long moment of silence had Callie almost squirming.

The conversation was going nowhere. She was barely able to stand still, let alone remember any of the practiced sentences she had imagined saying to Erica in case she ever saw her again. In her daydreams, Callie had always come off looking extremely cool and elegant when the two of them met. But who had she been kidding, she wasn’t cool or elegant. Their first contact in three years and the woman had seen her falling on her ass. She felt like she was in high school all over again, sitting in the back of the class, eating her hair.

And Erica wasn’t saying anything to help smooth things. In fact she wasn’t saying anything at all. Judging from her monosyllabic answers, Callie realized, she probably didn’t even want to speak to her. Callie didn’t know why she herself was making an effort at conversation, when she herself felt many different flavors of emotion passing through her stomach. Anger was definitely one of them, longing was another. Thinking that perhaps these feelings were best left buried and that perhaps it was time for her to go, she took a step to the side when Erica’s voice stopped her.

“How have you been?” Erica asked softly.

“Great- good, you know, normal.” Callie answered in haste, tripping over her own words. “You?”

“Same.”

“Good.”

“Great.”

Then, the inescapable silence took over once again. Frankly Callie was having enough of long silences being divided by small sentences.

“Congratulations.” She blurted, saying the first thing that came to mind.

“Huh?”

“Your method. I heard you have your own method now...”

“Right.”

“I would have called but-you know…” Callie said uncomfortably, smiling sadly. Somehow finding herself exactly where she didn’t want to be in the conversation.

“I know.” Erica said, her tone matching her own.

“It’s pretty cool actually, two people I’ve worked with have invented their own methods, have gone down in history.” Callie said, words coming out of her mouth without conscience thought. All she knew was that she had to fill the silence somehow.

Defining Erica as someone she simply worked with had squeezed her heart, but it was probably safer than calling her anything else.

“The Shepherd Method, The Hahn Method …I gotta get me one of those.” Her mouth continued. “You wanna tell me the secret?”

“Well, I have tried keeping busy, since the last time I saw you.” Erica said, her voice heavy with emotion, surprising Callie by mentioning the day she had walked away from her. “Work is good, keeps your mind off things…” she continued, looking at Callie searchingly, her whole demeanor screaming of her need to open that subject of conversation.

Callie might not have known much about Erica anymore, but she could still tell when she wanted to talk about something, and Erica definitely wanted to talk about that day.

Perhaps she needed some kind of closure, perhaps she wanted to apologize; or maybe the opposite, maybe she wanted to push a finger into an old scar just to hurt Callie. It was possible, Erica was a stranger now – anything was possible.

Callie didn’t know exactly what Erica wanted to achieve, as she stood there staring at her, but she did know that she wasn’t going to give it to her.

When Callie broke eye contact and looked away, her eyebrows knitting together in annoyance, Erica finally changed course. After another moment of silence and a deep breath, she took a lighter tone and said, “You know me, I’m a workaholic.”

“Right.”

“I guess some things never change.” Erica said, pretending like she hadn’t tried prying open what she had almost pried open. But Callie wasn’t going to let her get away with it so easily.

“Some things do.” She said slowly, looking into Erica’s eyes, her own eyes cold.

Something that looked like hurt flashed through Erica’s face, and Callie felt herself flinch at the sight of it. But she wasn’t going to feel sorry for Erica, she deserved whatever minuscule heart ache Callie’s dismissal caused her.

“I know,” Erica whispered weakly, sounding resigned, and Callie felt her sudden anger drizzling away.

She hated that when it came to Erica, her emotions ran wild in all directions, changing course without a moment’s notice, like living in a constant state of over heightened PMS.

She was about to say something to soften her previous words when Erica abruptly spoke. “Well, I’d better go.”

“Oh…Okay,” Callie said quietly, feeling better that she hadn’t said anything after all.

Then, after another moment, Erica was turning and walking away. Just like that. As quickly as she walked back into her life, she walked out of it, again. And once again she hadn’t even granted Callie a proper goodbye. Just left her hanging there, unable to move for long painful minutes.

The whole thing had gone horribly wrong and had been utterly unsatisfying. And to make matters worse, Erica had looked good; perfectly put together, perfectly dressed, and perfectly quaffed. Just perfect. The only difference Callie could see had been her hair. It was longer now, and more golden; shinier even. Life wasn’t fair; she was supposed to look ugly. Out of shape and unkempt and even sporting a hunchback perhaps.

“What are you feeling mija? Tell me,” Maria said and Callie was pulled out of her thoughts and back into the older woman’s arms.

She considered how to answer that. Yes, she felt frustrated, and yes, somewhere deep inside something hurt, but words to pinpoint her exact feelings were absent in her vocabulary. So she simply shook her head in the woman’s embrace, her mouth muffled against her shoulder, and mumbled, her voice breaking even in the single word.

“Tired.”

* * * * * *

After All This Time... (2/?)

2008-12-24T15:46:08Z

After All This Time

By Bella Taggart

Part 2/?

Lunch hour found Callie sitting in the cafeteria, stuffing her face with pizza and coffee, trying to pull back the reins of her wandering mind.

“That can’t be healthy.” Mark Sloan said far too loudly for her liking as he lowered his tray onto the table and pulled up a chair to sit next to her.

“It is.” She said grumpily, taking another mouthful. “There is pineapple in it, that gives you fruit. Cheese is the protein, and I'm getting my carbs from the dough. Its all that my body needs, wrapped up in a slice of deliciousness.” She took a sip of her coffee. “And with the hot beverage to wash it down, it's perfect.”

“Hmm hmm, right, all I see is grease and caffeine.” He said mockingly, lifting a forkful of green salad into his mouth.

“I need those too, if you want me to function at all today, you won’t mess with my lunch.” She said taking another bite.

“Rough night?” he asked slowly.

“Don’t ask.” She mumbled shaking her head, and wincing at the movement. Her headache had returned with a vengeance and it seemed like the painkillers she had popped into her mouth 20 minutes ago were taking a day off.

They ate in silence for a while until finally Sloan couldn’t take Callie’s huffing and puffing any longer.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, lowering his fork to rest on his almost empty plate.

“Its nothing.” Callie replied reflexively, and then met his eyes. Seeing his resolve, she quickly surrendered. “It's just, this girl I met.”

“I should have known.” He chuckled, picking his fork back up.

“No, it’s not like that... she just said some things.” Callie replied, her mind getting lost in Jane’s words.

“What?” Sloan asked, cutting through her unnecessary babble and bringing a fleeting smile to her lips with his familiar directness.

“Apparently I have a reputation now.” Callie said in a singsong voice.

At the rise of his eyebrows, she continued; “Yeah, similar much to the one you used to have... and it appears that, people talk.”

“And?”

“And nothing, I guess I didn’t realize. I mean, I think I am the new McSteamy now. I don’t know what I think about that.”

“I’m McSteamy,” Sloan stated firmly, finally finishing his food and sitting up in his chair, his height rising by a few inches as he straightened his back. “Find your own nick-name.” he ordered. After a moment a smirk crossed his face, “You can be McSlutty.”

“Hey!” Callie smacked him on the arm.

“That’s what happens when you are a woman. I get called a stud, and you get called a slut. Aren’t you gals always the ones saying that? Its an unfair world, get used to it.” He said dryly.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head amusedly. “Seriously though, I guess I just didn’t think about it. I mean, in a way its kinda cool I guess, this image of 'unattainableness'.” She listened to herself and questioned, “is that even a word?”

Mark waved his hand dismissively “I get what you mean” he said, looking at her expectantly, urging her to continue. Callie nodded “Right, but, it also made me sound so..” she took a deep breath, searching for a way to put it correctly and after a moment said, “so absent of feeling, you know? Like, like I was using these women.”

“Cal, you go through women faster than you go through socks. If Lexie wouldn’t kill me, I don’t even know that I could keep up with you. Don’t get me wrong, I think its great. I’m all about the girl on girl, with as much detail as you want to share. You know that, but it’s been this way for a while now.”

“And?” She asked seriously.

“And nothing. I'm just saying, you might wanna slow down if its starting to bother you.” When she didn’t say anything to contradict him, he continued. “Lets face it, this is not about what this chick thinks of you. There is only a problem here, if you agree with her.”

“Right,” Callie nodded after a moment. “You’re right.” She said, patting Mark on his back.

“Yes I am.” Mark confirmed, taking a sip of his iced-tea.

“Anyway, she didn’t come right out and say that. But, oh I don’t know, maybe I just took it that way.”

She thought about Jane, one minute panting beneath her and the next, so fragile, asking Callie to call her. “She was actually, nice. Different, but nice.”

“Nice enough to see her again?” He asked, trying to keep the traces of hope out of his voice. Callie smiled at his question and shrugged. “I don’t know, we’ll see.”

“What’s her name anyway?” He asked, just as Christina flopped down next to them, with a half eaten doughnut in each hand.

“Whose name?” she asked through a mouthful of sugary goodness.

“Jane’s.” Callie answered.

“This chick Callie bagged last night.” Sloan clarified.

“Mark!” Callie said loudly, chastising.

“What? It’s true.” He replied, feigning innocence.

Shaking her head, Callie repeated. “Jane Miller... You guys know her?”

“I don’t think so.” Sloan said, holding her eyes.

Christina shook her head as well and suddenly snapped her fingers. “Hey, when exactly is the Chief leaving?”

“He’ll be out that door, as soon as his replacement is appointed.” Callie said, as she grabbed Christina’s left wrist, brought it close to her mouth and took a bite out of the jelly doughnut in her hand, smiling cheekily at her friend.

“Which should be any day now,” Sloan added, “he gave his recommendation to the board yesterday. We should know who it is by tomorrow.”

Christina picked up Callie’s coffee and took a sip. “Who do you guys think is gonna get it?”

“Derek.” They both said at the same time, and grinned in amusement.

Callie picked up the chart sitting next to her plate, and scribbled something on it.

“What does she look like, this Jane?” Sloan asked, scratching his chin.

“Tall, blonde, blue eyes.” Callie listed distractedly.

Sloan snorted at that. “Figures.” he mumbled under his breath, too quietly for Callie to hear, but Christina caught it and snickered.

Callie looked up. “What?”

“Nothing... just saying that the board doesn’t have to listen to the chief.” Christina said. “They don’t have to stick to Seattle Grace, when they’re narrowing down the options.”

“They wouldn’t go looking anywhere else.” Callie shook her head. At Christina’s doubtful look, she continued. “Why should they? We’ve got a world-class neuro-surgeon that’s been published a million times. Hell, he’s even got his own method. There is no way they won’t bank on that.” Callie stated confidently, flipping a page of her chart, going back to her reading.

“I don’t know. I heard that professionalism is going to be the deciding factor in who gets it and as professional as Derek may be, his ‘favoritism’ towards some people might get in his way this time.” Christina said, taking another bite from her doughnut.

“No way. You think so?” Callie asked, looking up once again. Christina shrugged in response. Callie touched Sloan’s arm and asked him what he thought about it.

“She might have a point.” He said, cracking his fingers. “That time he saved Meredith’s ass, he got an official warning.” He added, as Christina nodded in agreement.

“That was ages ago.” Callie replied. “They’re not gonna check back that far.” She added, though she sounded less sure. “And anyway, even if they do, and that’s a big if, and it ends up costing him the job, which I highly doubt, there is always Bailey. If by some bad luck, he doesn’t get it, Bailey definitely will.” She finished, closing up the chart in her hand. “Right?” she asked Christina. When she didn’t get a response, she turned to Sloan and repeated. “Right?”

“We’ll see,” he replied after a moment, getting up and bringing an end to the conversation. “I gotta go play with boobs. I’ll see you ladies later.”

Christina got up as well, “I’ll walk with you.” She said, and then facing Callie, she started walking backwards. “I’m right, you’ll see I’m right,” she said then turned around, caught up with Sloan and disappeared from view.

Callie slumped in her chair in displeasure. That was all that was missing from her life; A new chief to impress. Some pompous ass she would have to prove herself to.

If that was the case, at the very least she would have to make an effort and be polite while she learned the way he dealt with things. His way, because every surgeon had a way. She knew how Shepherd dealt with things, she knew how Miranda dealt with things. And she knew how to deal with them, her way. She really didn’t feel like learning anybody else’s way at the moment.

She took a deep breath and massaged her temples. Christina had to be wrong. Callie was just going to sit back, relax and wait for this headache to pass, not get worked up over unlikely scenarios. The chances were, one of her friends would get the promotion and all this worrying would prove to have been unnecessary. The chances were, Christina would be proven wrong.

There was only one problem with that; Christina Yang was never wrong.

* * * * * *

After All This Time... (1/?)

2008-12-22T16:14:58Z

Never Been Kissed (Callie/Erica Grey's Anatomy) part 3/3

2008-05-25T03:48:38Z

Never Been Kissed (Callie/Erica Grey's Anatomy) part 2/3

2008-05-20T08:34:12Z

Callie/Erica Never Been Kissed

2008-05-15T14:52:14Z

Author: Bella Taggart
Title: Never Been Kissed
Summary: After Addison's visit, Callie and Erica must re-examine their friendship. Will they be able to overcome the rocky waters they find themselves in? Or will they drown?
Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and all its characters are the property of Shonda Rhimes and ABC.
Rating: PG
Spoiler: Through s4e14 (The Becoming)
Archiving: Only with the permission of the author
Note: My special thanks to KKftKK for doing a great job beta reading.
Feedback: Please :) You can reach me at bellataggart@gmail.com

Never Been Kissed
By Bella Taggart

Part 1/3

Erica Kahn briskly walked in to the Seattle Grace Hospital. It was early. She had been up half the night; sleep escaping her despite all her efforts. Every time she closed her eyes the image of Callie Torres walking out of the bar with Mark Sloane of all people came back to her.

She had been careful or she had thought she had been careful. But in the face of one doctor Torres, her carefully drawn lines had blurred very quickly.

She didn’t know when she had started feeling things she shouldn’t for the vibrant woman, when she had crossed that line. But somehow she had. If she didn’t know anything about herself at least she knew that. She wouldn’t be feeling like this otherwise.

Erica never got sick, it was one of those inexplicable things. Her genes somehow guaranteed that she stay healthy at all times.

She remained healthy as a child, when her mother had sent her to play in the neighbor’s house whose daughter had the Chicken Pox. Again in college when her entire sociology class, including the teacher came down with a severe case of the flu and class was cancelled for two days. And even as an adult when she got locked out of her apartment in the middle of the night and had to wait in a rainstorm for the locksmith to come and open the door.

She just didn’t get sick. Well, that was unless she was falling in love. She had been in love twice in her life. Once in high school and once in med-school. Both had been all consuming affairs, both had ended badly and both times she had been as sick as a dog.

Today her stomach was rolling and she had a headache. Hoping she was wrong, she quickly passed the lobby and soon found herself in the locker room.

Stripping her leather jacket, her eye caught Callie Torres’s locker. She stood looking at the grey steel door. As if staring at it long enough could reveal its contents or at the very least give a clue as to its owner’s whereabouts. Had Callie arrived already? The lock was firmly in place, facing out. Had it been facing out the night before?

What was she thinking, of course she hadn’t arrived yet. It was barely 5.00 am. Just because she couldn’t sleep, it didn’t mean that Callie wouldn’t be able to either. In fact she was probably still in Sloan's arm. She turned away and slammed her own locker closed, her toe catching the full force of the steel.

"Shit!"

She jumped reaching for her hurt foot.

It was going to be a long day.

* * * * * *

Callie was yanked out of sleep by the dreadful noise of the alarm. What the hell was that? It sounded more like a fire alarm then anything else. She rolled over, trying to figure out the origin of the racket. Finally spotting it, she reached over the empty bed and smacked the clock shut.

She sat up trying to make sense of where she was. Feeling disoriented she tried to remember what she had done last night.

Mark. That’s what she had done. She was in Mark’s bed. Alone. Then she noticed the light coming through the door to her left and realized that the shower was running.

She sat still, holding onto her head, trying to ease her way out of her hangover. Spotting her spattered clothes on the gray floor, she slowly got up and started collecting them. A moment later, the door to the bathroom opened, revealing a very naked Mark Sloane covered by what could only be called a hand towel.

In the dark of the room, with the steam and light from the bathroom framing his naked form, he looked like something out of a photo-shoot. She had to admit he was attractive and the nickname “mcsteamy” had never seemed so appropriate.

“Good morning sunshine”

“Hey, have you seen my bra?

Callie was already dressed and very much on her way out the door.

“Nope, are you going somewhere?”

“I just have to get home and grab a change of clothes before my rounds”

Mark dropped his towel and pulled on a pair of boxers.

“If you give me 5 minutes I could drop you off?”

“No that’s ok, I should get going.”

Before she could walk away, Mark caught up to her. He reached out and gently cupped her face.

“Callie.”

“Hmm?”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I am fine, just hung-over.”

“You want some aspirin?”

She thought for a moment. There was no point in trying to run away. They were both adults and they had done this before. It hadn’t been weird then, and there was no reason it should be weird now.

“Actually, yeah that would be good”

“Come on”

They walked into the open kitchen in the loft.

“Here”

He placed 2 pills and a glass of water on the counter in front of her.

“Thanks”

He leaned back on the counter watching her down the pills at once.

She was a beautiful woman. Voluptuous. Unlike the twigs he was used to bringing home. And she was great in bed. They had great chemistry together and last night she had been especially dominating.

“I had a great time last night”

For a moment, Erica’s face flashed before her eyes, then Addison’s questioning eyes. She caught the smirk in his lips and blushed.

“Yeah…me too”.

“You sure you are all right?”

“Yes. Are you all right?”

“I am great.”

“Good.”

“Okay.”

Callie picked up her bag.

“I really should get going”

“Okay.”

He walked her to the elevator door which also served as the entrance into his loft and held it open for her.

“I’ll see you at work.” She said.

“See you at work, Doctor”

She reached up and pecked him on the lips.

“Bye”

He smiled, made a little wave with his hand and closed the door.

* * * * * *

By noon, Erica had already done her rounds, met with a new patient and performed a bypass operation on a 58 year old man. During the morning she had gradually relaxed in the routine of her back to back schedule. Medicine she knew. Patients she could handle. The operating room was practically her playground and during the surgery she had finally felt in control.

However as the lunch hour closed by, she once again felt her resolve slipping. For weeks now she and Callie had been having lunch together. Through some unspoken agreement, unless there was an operation scheduled, they would find each other by the latest at 12.30 and go to the cafeteria together.

She checked her watch for the second time in the last 10 minutes. It was 12.45 and Callie was nowhere to be seen.

Paperwork it was.

She wasn’t that hungry any way. She pulled a chair in the nurses’ station and started going through files. Her afternoon was going to be packed. She had two surgeries scheduled and she knew it would be good if she could relax beforehand. That’s where the paperwork came in. She figured if she could simply get lost in the mundane act of filling pages with facts than she wouldn’t have to think of anything else.

She was wrong.

Callie had actually left with Sloane. Erica knew that they had slept together before but she had thought that that was over. The way she was moving all over him in the dance floor, the seductive look in her eyes… maybe it wasn’t over. Maybe she had been a fool to even hope…

Even before the couple left the bar, Callie had been acting weird. The way she downed those drinks, the way she spoke. To an outsider she probably looked like a tipsy girl having a good ol’ time, but Erica knew something was off. That wasn’t the way they drank when they truly had a good time That wasn’t the way Callie looked at her when they were alone.

She had to stop thinking about this. Maybe she was making too big a deal out of nothing. Last night could have simply been a need to scratch an itch on Callie’s part. Too many drinks that led to a sudden lapse in judgment. A stupid little mistake that she probably regretted this morning. Callie would surely make all this clear when they saw each other later in the day. She could just wait until then. She had surgeries to focus on anyway.

* * * * * *

They did not see each other that day or the day after that. In the morning of the third day Erica had sent a text to Callie’s mobile. Before pressing the send button, she had gone over the wording of it at least 3-4 times, writing and rewriting, and finally settled on “Coffee?”

She figured it was precise and to the point. She wanted to meet her and talk. Yesterday all day Erica had kept a lookout for her, but Callie was nowhere to be seen. After Erica finished her shift she had called her but her phone had gone straight to voicemail. Obviously she was avoiding her, but as a final gesture, this morning Erica had sent the text.

It was now 3.30. p.m, both her back and stomach were aching, her eyes felt heavy and her headache just wouldn’t leave her alone. It was fairly safe to say that she was in a bad mood.

In retrospect if she had known that she wasn’t going to get a reply to her text she wouldn’t have gone over it so many times in her head. She had to wonder if she’d offended Callie somehow. It had been a while since she felt insecure about herself, now that she was feeling it again, she knew for certain that she hadn’t missed the feeling.

Maybe she was being childish. Maybe Callie was sick, at home, unable to check her messages, maybe that was why she hadn’t seen or heard from her. Maybe Erica was the one being rude.

“Dr. Hahn?”

Christina Yang stood above her, looking at her expectantly.

“Yes?”

“Are you all right?” she asked tentatively.

She raised an eyebrow, “What?”

“I called your name a few times but…”

“Is there something you need Yang?”

“Ahm…yes. Dr. Shephard needs a consult.”

“Lead the way.”

* * * * * *

“Erica.”

From the surprise in her voice Erica knew that Callie hadn’t expected to see her. She instantly felt her insecurity turn into anger in the face of a very healthy looking Callie Torres. She closed the door behind her and walked fully into the observation room.

“Thanks for coming Erica,” Derek Shephard raised his head in welcome.

“Derek, Chief. Dr. Torres,” she acknowledged the occupants of the room.

“What do we have?”

“I was just about to show Callie the CAT scan for the patient’s lower body. If you can take a look at the chest and tell me what you think.”

She took a closer look at the film in front of her, trying her hardest not to think about the fact that Callie was standing less than a foot away. Mentally shaking herself, she put on her glasses and leaned closer to the image.

After a moment she blew out the breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding.

“How is this guy still alive?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” Shephard chuckled.

“The body sure is a mysterious thing…” she paused. “Look at the location of this. I haven’t seen this kind of an aortic aneurysm in maybe 5 years. What was it a car crash or did he fall off a building?”

“Car,” the Chief said as he took a step closer.

“Hmm,” she nodded, expecting it to be so. She knew she shouldn’t be as excited as she was. This was a man’s life they were talking about, but she couldn’t wait to get started. This was just the thing she needed to keep her mind focused.

“We shouldn’t wait. By some miracle it didn’t burst in the actual crash, but it could at any moment. A cough can trigger it. We shouldn’t push our luck”

“Dr. Torres, what about the legs?”

“I agree with Dr. Hahn.” Callie’s eyes met Erica’s for a moment, continuing only after Erica looked away. “We should operate immediately. He should get back the feeling in them once I am through with his spine and a few steel plates should fix his knees but we should hurry. Dr. Shephard, I assume you will be going in first?”

“Yes.”

The chief continued, taking notes on the folder in his hand. “Dr. Shephard will relieve the swelling in the brain, then Dr. Hahn will come in with the stant. Once she closes up the chest…”

“Actually Chief, I would like to get in through the groin.” Erica interrupted, straightening up.

Chief looked up to face her in surprise. “You think there is enough space on the aorta for it to hold on?”

She took off her glasses and ran her hand through her hair. Pointing at the scans hanging on the fluorescent board, she continued. “I’ll have a better idea once I do the angiography but I think if I can just bypass this artery, I should have enough space for it to hold on. I’d rather not open him up unless I absolutely have to.”

“All right, let’s see if that can be done. The less invasive the surgery, the better.”

Both Shephard and Callie were leaning against the table, nodding their consent.

“Torres, you will go in last...I am scheduling the surgery for 4:30. You have half an hour ladies and gentleman.”

* * * * * *

‘Dr. Torres.’

Erica had called her “Dr. Torres.” It seemed that Erica was really angry with her, not that she could really blame her. She had been a major bitch in the last few days. She hadn’t meant to ignore her, she just didn’t know how to face her. And now that she had seen her, she wished she could take back these last few days.

Erica wouldn’t even look her in the eye, and when she did, there was no warmth there. Callie had gotten used to being able to read her friend when no one else seemed to be able to. She had gotten used to being let in, behind that cool exterior, behind the hard shell she carried. Callie had been allowed into a place that was warm and sweet and beautiful.

Now on that once so open face, rested the eyes of a stranger. She was officially locked out.

She had thought that she needed time, time to figure out her feelings, time to return to neutral. By distancing herself from Erica she had thought that she could rain in the feelings she had some how lost control of.

But after three days she wasn’t in control. She wasn’t closer to figuring anything out. All she knew was that the indifference in Erica’s eyes hurt her, more than anything she could remember in a long time.

“Erica!”

Erica was the first one out of the room when the chief ended the meeting. Callie rushed after her and caught up to her in the corridor.

“Erica! Hey.”

Erica stopped and slowly turned around.

“Yes?”

She had tucked the scans from the room under her arm and were holding them across her chest, in front of her.

To Callie they looked like just another barrier between them.

“Hey. Hi.”

She sounded nervous. She couldn’t help it.

“Hello.”

Erica’s official tone had Callie tensing even more. She felt her words escape her as she tried to stop rocking on the edges of her sneakers.

“Ahm…how are you?”

“I am fine thanks,” she said curtly.

“Good. Ahmm…I just wanted to apologize for not getting back to you. I have been so busy with patients and paperwork. I was gonna call you but I just had no time to myself…one thing after another…Anyway, I am sorry.”

“Okay.” Erica’s face held no emotion.

Callie didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t getting through to her and judging from the blonde’s monosyllabic responses she was running out of time. Looking at her toes she tried again. “Ahm…I…”

“Was there something else?”

She looked up at her in apology. But the eyes looking back at her held no understanding.

“No. No, that’s it.”

“I’ll see you in the OR.”

She walked off, leaving Callie behind, feeling like a guilty child.

* * * * * *

Erica was proud of the work she did. It had taken longer than she had anticipated but she was almost done with it. As much as she had enjoyed it, she was looking forward to going home.

She had been fighting sudden cramps for hours now and she was tired. Her fatigue definitely had something to do with her recent restless nights and tonight she was planning on changing that. She was going to get a good night’s rest even if she had to take a sleeping pill for it. Though she suspected, it wouldn’t come to that, she felt like she could crash already.

The screen in front of her told her that a few more centimeters would bring the stant home. Another cramp hit her, hard this time and she had to still her hand. She shut her eyes and exhaled in a long calculated breath. She could feel the blood draining from her face. She could sense the questioning eyes of her staff on her but she was in too much pain to care. Another moment and it would pass, and then she would continue.

“Dr. Hahn?” one of the scrub nurses questioned nervously.

She couldn’t reply. She simply continued to breathe.

A moment later she felt another presence behind her.

“Erica?”

She knew that Callie had been standing in the back of the room watching the procedure, waiting to scrub in. But as she worked she had forgotten about her. Now her worried voice glaringly reminded Erica of her presence once again. She took in another breath and felt the pain in her abdomen lessen.

“I’m fine.”

She looked back up to the screen, catching the relieved faces of her colleagues.

She held out her hand. It wasn’t shaking.

“Let’s finish this.”

Within minutes she was done. The stant had fit perfectly. He was a lucky man, all things considered. Turning to leave she spotted Callie by the exit Motioning towards the patient before Callie could speak she said, “All yours,” and walked from the room.

* * * * * *

The next morning found Callie waiting for Erica in the locker room. She was determined to talk to her and clear the air.

After the surgery the night before she had tried calling her but Erica’s phone had been set to forward to voicemail.

She hated this.

Yesterday’s apology had obviously not worked, understandably so. She really had been sorry about avoiding her but the excuses she had come up with had sounded lame even to herself. She would try again today, and this time she would be sincere. She wanted to talk with Erica, make sure that she was all right after the surgery.

She had obviously been in some kind of pain during it. Callie hoped that it wasn’t something serious.

She wanted to tell her about Addison. Though what she would say, she didn’t know. After Addison had brought “it” up, Callie had started watching Erica closely. Watching for anything that could be perceived as more than friendly in the way she treated her. And that night in the bar, when Erica had reached out and touched her lips, she had felt like she found what she had been looking for. Then she had felt naked. She had felt danger. She had felt trapped, trapped in Addison’s stare, trapped in her own judgments. The only way out, the only security had seemed to lie in Marks arms. So that’s exactly where she had thrown herself.

Looking back, the touch could have been completely innocent. In fact she was pretty sure it had been. She had read too much into it because of her own fluctuating feelings. They had certainly touched each other more intimately before and she had never reacted the way she had that night. They had hugged. They had held hands. But once the words had been spoken, she was forced to look at herself and Erica in the third person. She had to think about the possibility she had been subconsciously pushing to the back of her mind.

Once the words were spoken, it was all she could think about.

Did Erica even contemplate such a possibility? Look at her as anything more than a close friend? Or had Callie worked herself up for nothing? Had she made herself question what should have been left unquestioned? For now that she had, the need to have it answered seemed all the more intensified.

She wanted to hear Erica’s voice. She missed her. She missed her closeness she had gotten so used to without even realizing it.

Today she would wait for her and talk.

* * * * * *

Callie waited and waited. But Erica didn’t arrive. She didn’t see how she could have missed her but she had rounds to do, she couldn’t wait any longer. She would find her during lunch.

When lunchtime came around and she still couldn’t find her, Callie asked the head nurse if she had seen Erica. She was told that Dr. Hahn would not be coming in today; she had taken a personal day.

That was strange. Erica Hahn never took personal days. As far as she knew, she had never a taken a day off in her life. Callie felt her worry rise with each passing minute.

She tried her cell again. No answer. Something was definitely wrong and she decided she was going to find out what sooner rather than later.

* * * * * *

Erica jerked awake to the sound of the banging on her door. Her eyes felt like they weighed a ton each. She tried to sit up but her spinning head sent her back to lying instantly. Whoever was at the door could just go away for all she cared. She wasn’t going to get out of this bed. Finally the banging stopped.

She felt drained. She knew she had to eat something, get some energy into her body but whatever she had tried to consume earlier, had found its way out of her system in various unpleasant ways. She did not want to go through that again. Giving up on the venture she closed her eyes and waited for sleep to reclaim her.

Knock, knock.

Damn it!

“Go away!” She finally squealed covering her face with her pillow.

“ERICA! ERICA ARE YOU IN THERE?”

Was that Callie?

“ERICA! CAN YOU HEAR ME?”

Damn it, she sounded frantic. Erica had to open the door. She pushed herself up with all her might and almost crawled out of her room. A few more steps and she would be there. The task seemed impossible. More banging. Jesus, that was loud.

“ERİCA?”

“Coming!”

She reached the door and opened it the few inches the chain allowed.

“Callie what is it?” She asked, her voice not louder than a whisper.

“Hey, are you ok? I was so worried.”

“I am fine.”

“You didn’t answer your cell. And I couldn’t reach you on your land line.”

“What do you need Callie?” she knew she was being harsh but she couldn’t help it.

“Can I come in?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea”

“Please, just for a moment”

“This is not a good time Callie”.

“Erica, can you please open the door.”

She could feel the fight leaving her. She was too weak to be on her guard. And her legs weren’t going to hold her up for much longer.

“Fine.”

She unchained the door and pulled it open. Turning away from it, Erica glanced back at her bedroom. Deeming it too far she walked over to the couch a few feet away and dropped herself onto it ungracefully.

Callie had followed her in and she now stood in the middle of her living room staring at her with something close to surprise in her eyes. Erica followed her gaze and simultaneously remembered what she was wearing. The single white t-shirt barely touched her thighs. A need for warmth more than modesty had her reaching for the blanket draped over the couch.

The look in Callie’s eyes quickly transformed into one of worry.

“You look terrible.”

“Gee, thanks.”

She could barely speak. Even keeping her eyes open was becoming an issue. It seemed the walk to the door had completely drained whatever scarce energy she had left.

“I didn’t mean…you know what I mean. What’s wrong with you?”

“It’s nothing, it’s just the flu.” she mumbled.

Callie moved in closer and kneeled down next to her. Bringing her hand to rest on Erica’s forehead.

“It doesn’t look like just the flu”.

Her voice was soft, comforting. And despite her resolve to the contrary, Erica found herself leaning into the unexpected touch. She closed her eyes involuntarily.

“Well, the flu… mixed with food poisoning… I think”

Callie pulled back and got up.

“Erica I know you are angry with me but this is just silly. Why didn’t you call me?”

“I’ll be fine, I just need to rest.”

Callie took off her jacket and threw it onto the marble counter next to her bag.

“I thought you were just going to stay for a minute.”

“I lied. Now close your eyes and try to get some sleep.”

She had already closed her eyes when she asked, “What about you?”

“Shh. I’ll be here.”

That was the last thing Erica heard, before she surrendered to darkness.

* * * * * *

While Erica slept, Callie kept busy. She first checked the fridge to make sure there was something edible in it. There wasn’t. So she called her father’s driver, giving him a list of groceries to buy and an instruction to text her when he arrived, instead of ringing the doorbell. Then she went about tidying up the house.

When it came time to enter Erica’s bedroom, she hesitated. It somehow seemed wrong to go in there without an invitation. She stood by the open door and looked in. Curtains were drawn but at this hour of the afternoon enough light came through to see the mess. The king sized bed was all rumpled up. Erica’s discarded clothes lay crumpled by the feet of the bed. There were opened bottles of medicine spattering the night table and on the floor next to it, books that had been pushed down to make space. Erica had obviously been in too much pain to think about the mess she was making. For an anally tidy person such as Erica that was already saying a lot about the severity of her discomfort.

The room needed to be aired out, and the sheets needed to be changed. Her mind made up, she walked in. She would go about her work as quickly as she could, with the least amount of possible invasion to Erica’s privacy.

* * * * * *

By the time Callie was finished with the bedroom, the food had already arrived. After putting the finishing touches to her mother’s chicken soup, she walked over to Erica and once again kneeled beside her. Even in her disheveled shape, Erica looked beautiful. Her hair, wild, rested on her shoulders. Thanks to the light coming from the kitchen the parts Callie could see, glowed in the otherwise dark living room. Callie suddenly had the urge to run her hand through the unruly locks. Contemplating for a moment, she settled on patting her on the head.

Her hand came away wet.

She immediately reached over and turned on the lamp next to the couch. Erika’s skin looked hot and clammy. She was shivering.

She quickly felt for her forehead, then her neck. Damn it, she was burning up.

“Erica. Wake up. ”

She didn’t even stir.

“Erica, wake up sweetheart”

She ran inside and grabbed the thermometer she had seen by the nightstand earlier. In the next moment she was back by Erica’s side, inserting the tip of the digital gadget into her ear. Within seconds she had a result; 105.9

“Shit! Erica!”

Callie grabbed her shoulders and started shaking her. Gently at first, then more forcefully when she didn’t get a response. She had to carry her to the shower.
She tried to pull the blanket back but, finally returning to a sort of semi-consciousness, Erica started fighting her. Mumbling incomprehensibly she tried to roll away.

“Erica, you have to wake up now!”

Callie reached for her once again, managing to wrap her arms around her waist. She rolled her over to face her and started pulling her up when suddenly Erica’s eyes blinked open. Callie could actually see the emotion travel across her face.

Fear.

And not just any fear but fear for her life. In the next instance Erica was screaming. Screaming on top of her lungs, and trying to fight her way out of her arms with all her might.

“SNAAAKE! SNAAAKE! HELP ME!”

“ERICA, IT’S ME CALLIE! IT’S CALLIE!” she was holding on to her, trying to stop her from trashing about.

“GET IT OFF ME! HELLPP! SNAAAAKE!” tears were actually falling down her cheeks.

“ERICA YOU ARE HALLUCINATING, YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP!”

“IT’S TRYING TO KILL ME! HELLLP!”

In her haste to get away from Callie, Erica ended up smacking her on the face. Callie had no choice but to let her go. But she wasn’t going to let her go far. She had to do something or Erika was going to hurt herself. When she spotted the glass of water on the coffee table, she instinctually grabbed it and threw its contents right onto Erica’s face.

Erica shrieked. Then, she stopped moving. Blinking a few times, she brought up her arms to hug herself. Shivering uncontrollably she opened her mouth.

“Callie?”

“Thank God. Erica, are you ok?”

“What’s going on?”

“You were hallucinating.”

She held up her hands and started walking towards Erica as non-threateningly as possible. Moving slightly behind her Callie slowly took hold of her right arm and placed her left arm on her waist.

“Come on.” She nudged her forward.

“I am so cold.”

She looked so helpless Callie could feel her heart breaking at the sight of her. She held on tighter.

“I know sweetheart”

“I think I have a fever”

Callie smiled for the first time that day.

“I think you may be right”.

They moved down the hall, Callie trying to hurry but Erica’s weakened state holding them back.

“Come on, just a few more steps.”

She led her into the bathroom and set her on the toilet seat.

“What are you doing?”

“You have to take a shower honey.”

“No. No. I am feeling better.”

Reaching over she opened the glass door and turned the cold water on.

“Erica you have to. You have a fever of 106”

“Callie, please I can’t,” she was visibly shaking. “I just have to go to bed”

Erica stood up and turned towards the door. Before she could leave, Callie held on to her shoulders.

“Erica please, come on. You were screaming that I was a snake. What if you have another hallucination? What if you hurt yourself?”

“No.”

“Look, I’ll go in with you. We’ll do it together”.

“Huh?”

Callie bent down and took off her shoes. She could feel the cold tiles under her bare feet.

“We’ll take a shower together. It will be fun”

Erica looked at her incredulously, rolling her eyes as if to say ”You must be kidding.”

“Come on.”

Erica simply shook her head.

“Erica, you are a doctor, you know this. You have to cool off,” she was starting to get scared and her voice reflected her frustration.

“Callie, you don’t understand, I am freezing! I can’t do it, I can’t!”

Callie stared at her unflinchingly. Then very slowly unbuttoned her shirt. Not loosing eye contact, she stepped into the shower and whispered.

“Erica if you care for me one bit, you will get in this shower.”

Erica stood still, moving her head from side to side without a pattern. She looked miserable. In the face of Callie’s unwavering resolve her eyes started filling with unshed tears. Then very slowly she took a step forward, then another one. She started crying for earnest as she stepped into the cold shower.

Callie was crying as well. She opened her arms and pulled Erica into them, making sure there was no space between them. They stood under the cold of the water. Callie in her black bra and jeans. Erica in nothing but a white t-shirt.

Soaking, holding on to each other, Erica shaking and Callie shaking with her.

“It hurts.”

“I know baby, I know.”

* * * * * *